English 302-Advanced Composition

English 302

Fall 2009

Philip Burnham

Name of Research Report’s Author: Nick Penaranda

Research Report Peer Review Evaluation

1. Summarize the writer’sthesis. How early in the paper does the thesis become clear? Does the writer wait too long to reveal it? Explain.

Haha you wait until the end to reveal it. When I was reading the paper I was having a hard time trying to figure out if you were arguing or informing us about the topic. The paper was interesting though and very relevant I think if you could find a way to insert your thesis earlier it will make this paper even stronger.

2. Is the background of the subject sufficiently presented? Are key concepts and terms defined? Explain what information might be added in order to give more context to the subject.

I think your information is very thorough and shows that you did the research and you know your subject matter. I think your paper just needs the usual refinements and a few out-loud read-troughs and then it well be a pretty polished piece. Also your paper is a little short so you might want to maybe add another paragraph and try to add on to existing paragraphs.

3. Argumentative Track: Is the opposition point of view (naysayer) recognized in a fair and credible manner? Explain why or why not. Informative Track: Does the writer employ information from a variety of authors/sites/institutions? Explain.

This paper is informative all though you kind of reveal your opinion in some instances when reading this but I think that’s fine. You do a good job revealing the information. In most cases it is concise. I just think if you move your thesis to earlier in the paper it will help solidify this piece as an Informative Research Paper.

4. Is the paper organized well? Are paragraphs linked by good transitions? Do the main points of the paper move forward logically? Identify a place where the organization could be improved.

I think the paper is well organized despite the thesis being at the end. The paragraphs are linked together well but some of the sentences with-in the paragraphs could use a better transition. I think reading aloud a few times will help you develop some good transitions. (Remember how sentences are dynamic, you can flip them and rewrite them) What helps me out when I’m struggling with a sentence I sometimes open up a clean document and rewrite the sentence a few times and see which one fits. Sometimes looking at the sentence in on an individual level helps.

5. Has the writer used credible sources? Which is the most effective? Which is the least effective? Explain.

6. Does the conclusion of the draft meet the “Zinsser test”? Is the last paragraph just arehash of what’s been said or does it end the essay on an effective and engagingnote?

7. Offer a one paragraph summary of what needs the most work in the second draft.