Honors English 3
Don’t text and drive
Texting and driving is bad. Almost all of you are going to say “duh” and agree with me, but yet you probably do it. And I think there should be a punishment for it. A lot WC of people text and drive. Cell phones were a great invention but a terrible distraction. Texting and driving is the cause of so many accidents. I guess I’m not persuading you that it’s bad because you know that; I’m persuading you not to do it.
Have you ever been driving and the person in front of you is swerving and almost hitting the car in the other lane? They weren’t drunk driving, they were Texting. It’s a fact that while driving, teenagers spend 10% of their time in WC outside the driving lane their WC supposed to be in.(That’s pretty bad.)GIVEN But your WC thinking well its okay if no one gets hurt. Wrong. People do get hurt and some even die. About 6,000 deaths and half a million injuries are caused by distracted drivers. The under 20-age group had the highest percentage of distracted drivers.
Wil Craig was on his way to a movie with his girlfriend in 2008. She was texting and driving and wrecked the car. Wil was in the passenger seat. He had a collapsed lung and 4 broken ribs, but that wasn’t the worst part. He died 3 times ? and was in a comma C for 8 weeks. He had such a bad brain injury that he had to learn how to walk and talk all over again. Wil was a senior at ManualHigh School in Indiana. He considered him self C an A-lister. Now he finds it hard to look in the mirror. This puts a face on the dangers of texting and driving. Wil tells his story to other high school students to make them not want to text and drive. In may C he will get to put on a cap and gown and graduate.
Bailey Goodman was 17 when she was driving 4 other cheerleaders. Records show she was texting and driving when she swerved into oncoming traffic and hit a tractor-trailer, her SUV burst into flames and the 5 of them died. SFThey only graduated high school 5 days earlier.
The sad thing WC is, you hear stories like this all the time. so many people die because of a simple text message like “hey”.SF Texting can wait. You shouldn’t text and drive, its bad. So next time you’re driving and you get a text, don’t read it. After reading this I would never want to use my phone in the car at all. I know it will be a hard habit to break, but would you rather be dead?
If texting and driving doesn’t kill you it will get you in trouble, or at least I think it should. There should be WC a point system on your license, like if you get caught you would get a point and have to pay a fine and once you get up to 3 points then that’s when you get your license taken away. Some people say but what if you never text and drive and you just happen to get caught. C Well you would get a point against you Clicense. Which I think is reasonable because you shouldn’t be doing it in the first place.SF
AMBER: You get to an arguable thesis statement in your last paragraph—that points should be taken off one’s license if they are caught texting and driving. Prior to this, your argument is that texting is bad; however, there isn’t a reasonable audience that would disagree with you on this. You say you’re not trying to persuade your audience it’s bad, but that they shouldn’t do it, but your claims of support are they shouldn’t do it because it’s bad. See if you can start with your last paragraph. You can keep your stories as emotional appeals for why we should take points off of licenses, but focus on who would be opposed to your proposed law and why. Once you’ve done this, look for overgeneralizations—key words like good, bad, wrong will help—and revise these sentences for complexity. Use the sentence chart to see where you have a series of simple, short sentences and combine for sentence variety. Check for transitions and fluency between sentences by seeing what each sentence and the sentence before and after have in common. Keep pushing.