Fidelis Leader/Mentor Training Outline
Session #1 – Why Fidelis?
- Fidelis/Fraternus a response to gaps in Youth Ministry programs, goal to help draw youth back into parish & family faith life.
- Teens need mentorship of parents & adults, who are passing on the Truth in a relatable, tangible way. (Book of Judges “And there came a generation that did not know God …”)
o “Be imitators of me, as I am of Christ.” – 1 Corth. 11:1
o Jesus calls us to discipleship, integral to our witness and life as Catholics.
- Girls will learn and strive for virtue/perfections if it is modeled for them by virtuous women.
- Effect of mentorship model vs. “standard” YM model
Session #2 – True Mentorship: Recruiting and Training Fidelis Mentors
- To mentor/disciple someone is to pass on the Truth of God in a tangible, real and vibrant way.
- Jesus Christ shows us how to do this (Apostles, hierarchy of the Church)
- 3 Steps to True Mentorship:
o Seek Holiness
§ Sacramental Life: Sunday Mass, daily Mass when possible, regular Confession
§ Committed prayer life: at least 15 minutes dedicated mental prayer, Lexio Divina, spiritual reading
§ Receiving formation – “can’t give what you don’t have” – are you seeking to be spiritually fed in some way? (Small group Bible Study, mentorship relationship etc.)
§ Participating in the weekly Fidelis challenges with sisters.
o Build Friendships
§ Be present! Regular participation in weekly gatherings. Arriving early before girls to review roles with other mentors and pray together.
§ Greet and talk to sisters, particularly members of your small group – avoid talking to other leaders so you can focus on girls.
§ Be intentional: Learn about each sister in your group (for example, name, parents’ names, # siblings, birthday, school, sports and other extracurricular activities, favorite class in school, favorite hobby, who their friends are)
§ Ask for weekly prayer requests
o Review these notes before sisters arrive so you can follow up on any prayer requests, sports or other significant events…shows that you are listening and care about them.
§ If a sister misses Fidelis, call her home the next day to check in.
§ Try to make it to at least one sporting, dance or other extracurricular event for each sister in your small group once a semester. Showing this extra effort goes a long way to win their respect.
o Mentor with Excellence
§ Once you have won the right to be heard they will come to you seeking your wisdom.
§ Strive to help the girls grow deeper in their relationship with Jesus by challenging and encouraging them.
- Identifying and recruiting mentors within parish
o Value of having younger women (single & married) serve as mentors.
o Great benefit to involve mothers, grandmothers, ladies in parish who are living the Catholic faith & their vocations, as guest speakers, retreat/excursion chaperones. Important that girls see their mothers in their vocation!
o Titus 2:3 “Bid the older women to train the younger.”
- Make personal invitations to women to be mentors, should possess these characteristics :
o Visible witness to Catholic faith
o Desire to help form/mentor younger women
o Willingness to commit to the Fidelis program & mentorship model
- Overview of roles within Fidelis:
o Lead Lady – oversees program chapter in parish, coordinates with Catholic Mentoring Group to obtain materials, leads training of mentors, and provides mentorship & support for adult mentors.
o Mentors – small group leaders responsible for the running of weekly meetings, mentorship & service of girls in their small group, participating in excursions, days of charity etc.
o Peer Leaders – paired with a Mentor, these teens (11th or 12th grades) help lead and mentor the girls in small groups, while receiving mentorship from their Mentor.
o Ladies in Waiting – mother & other parish ladies who are committed to the Fidelis program and desire to serve behind the scenes (occasional chaperoning, providing snacks) and maybe as guest speakers.
- Why do we use the term Fidelis “lady” – explain reason (see booklet for explanation)
- Responsibility and commitment of Mentors & Peer Leaders
o Regular participation in weekly gatherings
o Investment in small group mentorship
o Holy living
o Regular prayer for & contact with girls (especially those who have missed meetings)
o Completed Fidelis training.
Session #3 – Fidelis Meeting Overview/How to Make the Your Chapter Flourish
- The “form” of the weekly meetings places emphasis on small group time & virtue formation.
- Important that the quality of the evening is emphasized, as a 1 ½ hours a week isn’t very much time to make an impact.
- There are 2 things that make a quality Fidelis Chapter meeting:
o 1st each women must understand and accept her role
o 2nd each element of the night must be understood
- Important to keep each part as timely as possible. A chaotic and unorganized meeting with take away from genuine, intentional fellowship developing.
o Social Time (15 minutes) – mentors have an opportunity to help demonstrate the art of genuine person to person communication – learning names, introducing girls to each other and establishing a welcoming, fun environment.
§ Every girl that walks through the doors should know she is welcomed and genuinely loved.
§ Role of the mentors to disarm any insecurities right away – make sure there is ALWAYS a leader by the door to welcome, get the name of the girl and direct towards the food, other girls etc.
§ Remember how intimidating it is to walk into a new situation, especially not knowing anyone!!
o Opening Prayer (read from Fidelis book) – “official” start of the evening, as prayer should come first in all we do.
o Activity (20 minutes) – Purpose of the activity is to continue the social time through a more formalized game that girls AND leaders will participate in.
§ Opportunity to demonstrate & practice virtue, give encouragement
§ Mentor should only be “on side lines” if a girl can’t participate, so she’s not alone.
§ Activity should be simple to explain, so time isn’t taken up trying to do so.
§ Make sure after the game, girls aren’t taking too much time getting snacks/water.
o Movie Clip & King’s Message (5-10 minutes) – Show movie clip that demonstrates the virtue of the night, followed by a brief message to further illustrate how to practice the virtue.
§ Mentors should be sitting amongst girls, to help focus and encourage attention to speaker.
§ While message is an opportunity for speaker to provide a real life/personal example of virtue, be attentive that it doesn’t become a long testimonial. This takes away the focus from the girls learning how to live virtue and also tends to consume too much time! (Excursion better time for testimonies)
o Small Group Discussion (45 minutes) – This is the key part of the meeting, bringing the girls together in discussion on living a virtuous life.
§ Make sure any new girls know what group to join! It can be very awkward not knowing where you “belong.”
§ Mentor should be prepared, having already reviewed topic, questions and any insights given in Fidelis newsletter.
§ Lead the discussion by listening carefully & asking good questions.
§ Goal is to have the girls discussing with each other, not just mentor.
§ With such a short amount of time, it is important to have a balance between freedom in conversation and guiding it toward goal of discussion how to daily live a virtuous life.
§ Try to take discussion beyond that surface level.
§ Use the Fidelis book as a guide, with opening prayer, reading of Scripture passage & saint quote, discuss questions, previous week’s challenge (invitation) & new invitation.
§ The purpose of the challenge (invitation) is to give the girls a tangible way to exercise virtue in order to grow. Be sure leaders are also doing challenges – “Be imitators of me as I am of Christ.”
§ Closing Prayer (read from Fidelis book) – Bring evening to a close with prayer & offering of intentions together.
Small Group DON’T’s & DO’s to practice:
DON’Ts:
- Be a fake
- Talk to exclusively to other mentors
- Form a comfort zone (when we get nervous we may only talk to our favorites or adults)
- Talk too much. Remember: What is annoying to you in annoying to them!
- Give all the answers (even in you have them). Wait a little for them to come to you and then ask them questions back (like Jesus did J)
DO’S:
- Learn Names! Introduce yourself! Tip: repeat name three times and write it down in your notes to pray for them.
- Talk about them, not you. Focus on being interested, not interesting. Learn about their families,
friends, school, classes, extra-curricular activities, and what they do for fun.
- Seek first to understand and meet them where they are at (social maturity, family & school settings will vary among girls, mentor’s role to work to connect with each girl)
- Be positive & affirming – don’t use negative humor
Fidelis Year Program Elements & Planning
For your calendars!!
- September 8th or 9th - OLSS Classroom Blitz (6th- 8th)
- September 10th – First Fidelis Wednesday night meeting starts at 6:30pm!!
- October 1st – Fidelis Initiation Ceremony
- October 24th-26th – Fidelis Excursion at Island Lake Camp (Poulsbo)
- January 16th – 18th – Fidelis Winter Excursion at Buck Creek (Camp Beracha)
- May 24th – Fidelis Accolade Ceremony
- August 9th – 12th – Tentative Fidelis Summer Excursion
Start of school year:
o Recruitment Blitz:
§ All about personal invitation! Every girl 6th – 12th grade should receive an invitation. Don’t just hand out fliers behind a table
§ After Masses & in junior high classrooms of parish school (if possible)
§ Have materials ready for parents, along with a brief sound bite describing Fidelis.
§ Prepare mentors & girls recruiting with discussion points with girls(especially to help counter excuses)
§ Have recruitment close to 1st Fidelis meeting, so you’ll remember names, faces and those coming won’t have to wait long to participate.
§ Strategically place mentors/current Fidelis girls who have no problem talking to girls at doors to say hello right away, get a name & extend invitation.
§ More quiet ladies would be good a talking with parents at table and encouraging them to encourage daughters.
o First month of Fidelis Meetings are “intro” nights, describing purpose of program, the different elements and the commitment.
§ Gives mentors a chance to really establish a great program environment, making girls feel welcome and increasing their interest in involvement.
o Initiation Ceremony – opportunity for the new girls make a commitment to the program, current ladies renew their commitment.
o Excursions/Retreats
o Days of Charity – opportunities to serve in the parish ministries and community
o Accolade Ceremony - recognition of girls who have completed 60% of the weekly invitations (challenges) & will advance onto the next star.
- Regular “Core” Group meetings
o Share/switch up roles for each weekly meeting: Greeters, Prayer & Activity, King’s Message and Clean Up.
o Planning for days of charity, excursions etc.
o Feedback & improvements
o Follow up with girls who have missed meetings, important element for small group relationships and mentorship. Ex: “Hi, this is _____, we missed ______at Fidelis last night and I just wanted to call to check up to see if everything is alright…” Will she be able to make it next week?”