INSPECTOR WINSLOW THE MASKED MADMAN
DETECTIVE ARCHIEHENRY
THE DETECTIVES: DRY IN NO TIME
(Opening Scene: Office, with WINSLOW and ARCHIE)
PROPS: Computer, table, black olive, two hand-held walkie-talkies, two glasses and a pitcher of water, slush powder (found inside disposable diapers, this is also commercially available in bottles from magic trick suppliers), map
WINSLOW: Good morning, Archie!
ARCHIE: Good morning, inspector!
WINSLOW: Archie, I have something to show you today. I have just invented the most cleverly-disguised radio-transmitter/receiver in the world (he holds a black olive).
ARCHIE: I don't see it, inspector. All I see is an olive.
WINSLOW: You just think you're looking at an ordinary olive, but you're really looking at one of the smallest radio-transmitter/receivers in the world. It's a tiny walkie-talkie. Hold it up to your ear and listen.
(ARCHIE does. WINSLOW speaks into the walkie-talkie)
WINSLOW: Hello, hello.
ARCHIE: It IS a walkie-talkie! I can hear your voice coming from this olive!
(HENRY ENTERS)
ARCHIE: Henry! Look at this.
(ARCHIE holds the olive for HENRY to see, but HENRY quickly takes it and pops it in his mouth)
WINSLOW: Oh, no.
ARCHIE: Uh, son?
HENRY: Yeah, Dad?
ARCHIE: Do you have any idea what you just did?
HENRY: Sure. I just ate an olive. Thanks, Dad; I love black olives. I like them a lot better than the green ones.
WINSLOW: I really hate to tell you this, Henry, but that was NOT a black olive.
HENRY: It wasn't?
WINSLOW: No, it wasn't. It was really a top secret walkie-talkie. It just looked like an olive. Only now it's inside your stomach.
(WINSLOW pats HENRY'S stomach)
ARCHIE: Let's see if it still works.
(ARCHIE picks up the hand-held walkie-talkie and speaks into it)
ARCHIE: Hello, hello.
HENRY: I hear you inside my stomach, Dad! It sounds like my stomach's talking to me!
(MASKED MADMAN enters, holding two glasses and a pitcher of water. One of the glasses has some slush powder at the bottom.)
MASKED MADMAN: Ahem.
WINSLOW: The Masked Madman! It's been a long time since I've seen you around. What do you want this time?
MASKED MADMAN: I just want to show you my latest invention. It's a special powder formula called "Dry-Up."
WINSLOW: What does it do?
MASKED MADMAN: Observe. I pour water into this glass (he does).
WINSLOW: Nothing happens.
MASKED MADMAN: Right. Now watch what happens when I pour the same water into this glass that has the Dry-Up (he pours it and then demonstrates the power of the Dry-Up by tipping the second glass upside down).
ARCHIE: The water disappeared!
MASKED MADMAN: Not exactly. It just dried up. And I've got enough of this Dry-Up powder to dry up all the water in this whole city . . . unless I get one million dollars.
HENRY: A million dollars!
WINSLOW: Never! This city never gives in to the demands of criminals like you.
MASKED MADMAN: All right. Have it your way.
(MASKED MADMAN EXITS)
ARCHIE: What are we going to do, inspector?
WINSLOW: First we have to find out where he keeps his stash of Dry-Up powder. Henry, would you like to help us out on this case?
HENRY: Would I ever!
WINSLOW: Good! Your assignment will be to follow the Masked Madman. Stay very far behind him, so he doesn't know you're following him. Follow him until you can find out where he keeps his Dry-Up powder, and then give us the address so we can meet you there. We can keep in touch with each other by using the walkie-talkie in your stomach. Now go quickly, before we lose him.
HENRY: Got it.
(HENRY quickly EXITS)
ARCHIE: That sounds like a pretty good plan, inspector.
WINSLOW: Yeah, I think so too. We'll be able to listen to Henry on our regular walkie-talkies.
(WINSLOW and ARCHIE each pick up a hand-held walkie-talkie)
HENRY: (on mike behind stage) BURP!
WINSLOW: (listening to walkie-talkie) What was that?
ARCHIE: (also listening) I know that sound! That's the noise Henry makes when he burps.
HENRY: Dad, Inspector!
WINSLOW & ARCHIE: (listening on their walkie talkies) What is it, Henry?
HENRY: The Masked Madman has just gone down Jupiter Street. He's at the second house on the right.
WINSLOW: (to Archie) That must be where he keeps his Dry-Up powder. Tell Henry we'll be right there!
ARCHIE: We'll be right there, Henry.
WINSLOW: All right. Let's go. Wait a minute. Do you know where Jupiter Street is?
ARCHIE: No.
WINSLOW: A good detective is always prepared (he pulls out a map). Let's see now . . . Jupiter Street.
ARCHIE: Uh, boss.
WINSLOW: Not now, Archie; I'm trying to find Jupiter Street.
ARCHIE: But, boss.
WINSLOW: All right. What is it, Archie?
ARCHIE: Your map is upside down.
WINSLOW: (he turns it around correctly) Aha! There's Jupiter Street. Let's go!
(ARCHIE and WINSLOW EXIT)
(Scene Two: Jupiter Street, with MASKED MADMAN)
PROPS: Two large inflated trash bags with paper trash inside, scissors
MASKED MADMAN: (holding both bags) I'll teach those fools to mess around with the Masked Madman. There won't be one drop of water left in this city when I get finished!
(MASKED MADMAN sets the bags down and EXITS. HENRY sneakily ENTERS and sneakily cuts two small holes in the corners of the bags, allowing the powder to slowly leak out. HENRY sneakily EXITS.)
(Scene Three: At platform with WINSLOW and ARCHIE)
ARCHIE: Inspector, we'll never get to Jupiter Street in time.
WINSLOW: You're right, Archie. We need to think. Where would the Masked Madman go if he wanted to dry up all the water in the city?
ARCHIE: How about the water treatment plant?
WINSLOW: Of course! That must be where he's planning to strike. Let's go to the water treatment plant and stop him.
(WINSLOW and ARCHIE EXIT)
(Scene Three: Water treatment plant with MASKED MADMAN, HENRY, ARCHIE, and WINSLOW)
PROPS: Two large, deflated garbage bags
MASKED MADMAN: You're too late to stop me. Say good bye to your city water!
(MASKED MADMAN picks up the bags to dump them, but notices that they are empty)
MASKED MADMAN: Huh? They're empty! How did that happen (he looks at the bottoms)? Aha! Someone cut a little hole in each bag so all the powder could leak out! And I don't have any more powder. And I forgot how to make the stuff! That's no fair! All my chances to get rich are ruined.
(MASKED MADMANthrows the bags down and EXITS. HENRY holds up the scissors, innocently, for all to see.)
WINSLOW: Well, Henry, it looks like you're the hero of this case. Where did you get the scissors?
HENRY: A good detective is always prepared.
THE END