MIDDLE SCHOOL ENGLISH INSTRUCTION: Unit 6, Lesson 4 4

Focus of the lesson: revising sentences

1. REVISING SENTENCES

To produce the rhythmic flow of language in your paper, you must avoid sentence monotony (too many sentences with the same pattern or structure) and sentence choppiness (short sentences that need to be combined), and you must use effective transitions.

·  To avoid sentence monotony, vary the beginnings of your sentences.

ACTIVITY 6-4-1

Read the information that begins below to familiarize yourself with methods of varying sentence beginnings. Then complete the practice that follows.

Revising Sentences: Beginnings

The rule “All sentences shall have a subject and a verb” is one of the top ten commandments of grammar. However, there is no rule that says all sentences have to begin with a subject and a verb. Professional writers know that varying sentence beginnings is one way to hold their audience’s attention.

The first sentence in each pair below begins with the subject. The second sentence has been revised to vary the sentence beginning.

Mr. Jones cunningly plans his vengeance against Allen.

Cunningly, Mr. Jones plans his vengeance against Allen.

Allen is wearing a costume because it is the carnival season.

Because it is the carnival season, Allen is wearing a costume.

Methods of Varying Sentence Beginnings

USING SINGLE-WORD MODIFIERS
Eager, Allen followed Mr. Jones to the back room. [adjective first]
Excitedly, Allen followed Mr. Jones to the back room. [adverb first]
Deceived, Allen followed Mr. Jones to the back room. [participle first]
USING PHRASES
In good faith, Allen followed Mr. Jones to the back room. [prepositional phrase first]
Thinking of great riches, Allen followed Mr. Jones to the back room.
[participial phrase first]
To taste the great riches, Allen followed Mr. Jones to the back room.
[infinitive phrase first]
A true fool, Allen followed Mr. Jones to the back room. [appositive phrase first]
USING SUBORDINATE CLAUSES
Because he was proud of his wine expertise, Allen followed Mr. Jones to the
back room. [adverb clause]

Revising Sentences to Vary Sentence Beginnings

DIRECTIONS: Revise each of the following sentences according to the directions in brackets. You will not need to add information to any of the sentences; simply move, change, or delete words and change punctuation where necessary.

1. I ran into Mr. Jones in the city office building. [Begin with a prepositional phrase.]

2. I looked striking wearing my pin striped suit. [Begin with a participial phrase.]

3. I could tell he was glad to see me, because he shook my hand for almost a minute. [Begin with an adverb clause.]

4. He told me a far-fetched story about finding some great riches. He was talking breathlessly.

[Create one sentence beginning with a participial phrase.]

5. I pretended, for a little while, that I was interested even though I felt sorry for him. [Begin with an adverb clause.]

6. I knew that he must have been swindled, because one simply can’t find great riches these days. [Begin with an adverb clause.]

7. “Go ask my friend Mr. Carter, if you need a real expert,” I told him at last. [Begin quoted sentence with an adverb clause.]

8. Mr. Jones, gesturing, pulled a map from under his jacket. [Begin the sentence with a participle.]

9. Mr. Jones, a man jealous of his family’s honor, carefully planned his revenge. [Begin with an appositive phrase.]

10. Mr. Jones heard the alarm in the building go off and tried to run before he could be caught. [Begin with a participial phrase.]

·  Use sentence combining to eliminate short, choppy sentences and to enhance sentence variety.

ACTIVITY 6-4-2

Click the link below and complete Practice 1 and Practice 2 on sentence combining.

Sentence Combining Practice

·  Transitions can help your paper to flow more smoothly and can clarify the relationship between and among ideas, details, and information in your paper.

ACTIVITY 6-4-3

Click the link below for practice with using transitions. After reviewing the information, try the interactive game.

Transitional Words & Phrases

ACTIVITY 6-4-4

óNow reread your paper and rewrite sentences that need to be revised to increase the rhythm and flow of your paper or to better indicate the relationship between one idea or detail and another.