MADISON COUNTY CRISIS TOOLKIT

Death/Loss at School: Additional Page for Madison County Schools Emergency Procedures Guide

Roles for School Personnel

For Principals

For Counselors/Psychologists

For Teachers

Suggestions for Dealing with the Media

Communication Within School:

Individual Student Loss

School Wide Loss

Staff Death

High School Setting

Sample Memorandum to the Faculty

Guidelines for Parents

Sample Letter to Parents-Elementary

Parent Activities to Help Children/Youth Cope with Death/Loss

How to Talk with Your Child/Youth about Death/Loss

Suggestions for Classroom Activities After a Loss

Stress: Normal Reactions to an Abnormal Event

Taking Control of Your Stress

Guidelines for Memorials

Developmental Reactions to Grief:

Preschoolers and Young Children

Early School Age Children

Middle School Age Children

Early Teens and Adolescents

Practical Tools

Student Tracking for Crisis Events/Death

When Someone You Loved Has Died – Workbook for Elementary Level

My Story - Worksheet

DEATH/LOSS AT SCHOOL

When disaster strikes, teachers and school staff members need to be ready to cope with their reactions and the reactions of their students. The need to deal with student reactions comes at a time when staff members are still dealing with their own reaction and may be least prepared to think quickly and cope with others’ reactions.

In the event of a reported death or serious illness impacting the school setting, the following steps are recommended:

  1. Notify the Principal. The principal should verify the death/illness, and the facts surrounding the incident.
  2. The Principal should activate the School-Based Crisis Response Team, notify the Superintendent and the Director of Psychological Services. The Guidance Counselor may wish to call counselors at other schools to assist with on-site crisis counseling.
  3. Teachers should be notified prior to school if possible using a phone tree, or during school prior to notification of students. If school is already in session, a hand delivered memorandum should be given to all teachers.
  4. Teachers should be given information on strategies for dealing with the tragedy within their classrooms, signs of grief, and what support services are available within the school building.
  5. If school is not in session when the tragedy occurs, schedule a faculty meeting as soon as possible to share the details that are known, review procedures for the day, and to discuss the notification of students, availability of support services, and the referral process for students needing assistance.
  6. Contact the family or visit the home to offer condolence and support (if appropriate at that time).
  7. Allow students who need support to meet in the guidance counselor’s office, or in other appropriate places with available support personnel. Students should be encouraged to report any other students who may need assistance. It may be necessary to designate multiple areas for crisis team/school resource persons to meet with affected students.
  8. Contact parents of those students who are affected by the crisis.
  9. Notify the bus driver of the students involved in the accident or death.
  10. Students who are extremely upset should have parents contacted to determine appropriate support needed after leaving school.
  11. Offer assistance to parents of impacted students. Provide a brief description of the cause of death when the facts are known, but do not give the student’s name or unnecessary details.
  12. Provide a fact sheet for parents which encourages them to focus on the needs of their children, not specific information about the deceased individual. Describe signs of grief in children, recommendations for helping their children cope with grief at home, and outline support services available at school.
  13. If deemed necessary by the building principal, an end-of-the-day faculty meeting may be called to disseminate additional information and to make continued support plans for the next few days.

ROLES FOR SCHOOL PERSONNEL

Principal’s Role

  • Direct intervention efforts.
  • Be visible, available, supportive and empower staff.
  • Provide direction to teachers about how much to set aside the curriculum. Tests should be postponed in some classes.
  • Communicate with central office administration and other affected schools.
  • Contact family of the deceased.
  • Inform staff and students about funeral arrangements.
  • Meet with the press, as appropriate, to provide a prepared statement or response.
  • Ensure that memorials are appropriate.

Counselor’s/School Psychologist’s Role

  • Determine what the principal has planned. Check with principal for school-wide messages and procedures.
  • Be available and prepared to deal organizationally with greater demands on your services.
  • Cancel other activities. Be flexible and ready to change operations as the need arises.
  • Locate counseling assistance, including state or community resources if appropriate. Contact colleagues in other schools to provide additional counseling support within your school during the initial crisis period.
  • Identify students within the school who might be particularly affected by news of the tragedy – those who have suffered recent losses, are being treated for childhood depression, etc.
  • Provide individual and group counseling.
  • Contact parents of affected students with suggestions for support or further referral.
  • Follow the schedule of the deceased and visit classrooms of close friends.
  • Keep records of affected students and provide follow-up services.

Teacher’s Role

  • Provide accurate information to students. Remain consistent in supporting them.
  • Start the day with your usual routine, settle the class, then let them know there will be a time for discussion and questions. Return to a modified routine as soon as possible to help them feel calm and safe.
  • Lead classroom discussions that focus on helping students to cope with the loss – handouts are available for teacher use and guidance. Provide activities to reduce trauma, such as artwork, music and writing.
  • Dispel rumors. Answer questions without providing unnecessary details.
  • Recognize the varying religious beliefs held by students.
  • Model an appropriate response.
  • Give permission for a wide range of emotions.
  • Identify students who need counseling and refer to building support personnel.
  • Discuss funeral procedures, if known.

SUGGESTIONS FOR DEALING WITH THE MEDIA

FACTS OF LIFE

If something even resembling a tragedy happens on one of your campuses or to one of your schools, chances are the media will be there to cover it, and sometimes they will know before you do. We are not able to prevent crises from occurring, but we can control the conditions in which we work through them.

RULE ONE (THE ONLY RULE) : BE PREPARED: Understand that the media needs a story... let it be a controlled, student-focused story that will help restore the safety and security of the students.

Prepare individual school statements for release to the media and to parents/guardians.

Identify a media briefing area. This should be done by the principal with all staff informed.

Select the media briefing area carefully to ensure security and privacy for students and staff.

Identify your school/crisis spokesperson, usually the principal.

Individual school personnel should not speak with the media.

In a crisis situation and after the original media release is completed, the media should be

updated regularly, for example, every half-hour for the first two hours and then hourly thereafter,

even if it means telling them there is nothing new to report.

Later briefings should contain information regarding steps the school will be taking the

following day, support for students and staff, and attention to school security.

Prepare your media releases for TV broadcast. If there is a crisis at your school, the large

majority of parents will be tuning in to the TV news that night.

COMMUNICATION WITHIN SCHOOL

Communications are best delivered to individuals or in classroom settings. Examples of suggested teacher scripts are as follows:

Individual student’s loss:

Johnny will not be in school today. His mother was killed in an automobile crash last night. Her car was struck by a truck on I-75. Johnny will be very sad for a long time. Perhaps we can discuss some ways Johnny might be feeling and how we all can help him.

School wide loss:

We have something very sad to tell you today. Jennifer was driving home in the rain last night. Her car swerved into an oncoming lane, and was struck by another car and went off the road. Jennifer died in the crash. It was sudden and she did not suffer.

Staff death (school wide loss):

Our school has suffered a great, great loss. Mrs. Doe, the science teacher, has been ill with cancer for many months now. We just received word that her suffering has come to an end and Mrs. Doe has died. We will be remembering Mrs. Doe’s contribution to our school community. At this time, I’d like each class to discuss the ways they would like to commemorate the life work of Mrs. Doe.

High school setting:

You may have noticed that our flag is flying at half-mast. Last night, two of our students were involved in an automobile accident on ______(street). (Student name) and (student name), who were driving together, both died as a result of their injuries. As more information becomes available, including funeral arrangements, I will speak to you again. This is a terrible tragedy for the (school) community and our thoughts are with the families of these students. We need to be here for each other at this difficult time. Anyone who feels the need to talk should report to our school library, where you can speak with a guidance counselor or school psychologist. Please sign out of your class and sign in at the library. If you see someone in need of support, please reach out to support and comfort them, and encourage them to speak with someone in the library.

SAMPLE MEMORANDUM TO THE FACULTY

CONFIDENTIAL MEMORANDUM

To: High School Faculty

From: John Doe, Principal

Date: January 7, 2002

One of our seniors, Larry Smith, died last night in an automobile accident on US Highway 25. This is a tragedy for the Smith family, our school, and our community. We will be meeting individually with each class today to notify our students of this tragedy. I have spoken to Mr. and Mrs. Smith who have asked that I report the following information to our students and staff:

(Parent Statement if available)

Our Crisis Response Team met this morning, before school hours, and is requesting that you direct students who need to speak with someone to the guidance office. Our guidance counselors, guidance counselors from other schools, as well as school psychologists from the Department of Psychological Services will be available. Students are asked to follow the usual sign-out procedures.

It will be important that we make every effort to maintain regular classroom instruction. However, I understand that for many of the students this may be difficult. Please feel free to contact the guidance office for suggestions for dealing with grief/loss in the classroom. A faculty meeting will be held after school today, at 3:15 in the library, to debrief from the day and to plan activities as needed for the remainder of the week.

I understand that this may be a very difficult time for you, and we need to be here for each other. Feel free to contact the guidance office or Connie Adams if you have further concerns. Your contacts with her will remain strictly confidential.

Sincerely,

Principal

GUIDELINES FOR PARENTS

The following suggestions can be useful when there has been a death.

  • As soon as possible, set time aside to talk to your child/youth. Once again, it is best that information come from you and that it be factual, simple, and honest, using the correct language, for example, “He had died” or, “She was killed.”
  • Ask if your child/youth is hearing new words that need to be explained.
  • Ask questions. “What are you feeling?” “What have you heard from your friends?” “What do you think happened?”
  • Don’t hesitate to refer to the deceased person by his or her name. The person may be dead, but he or she is a person to be remembered and loved, not spoken of only in hushed pronouns.
  • Read a book on a child’s response to death, such as: The Grieving Child or The Grieving Teen, both by Helen Fitzgerald. Articles on the American Hospice Foundation web site, , tell more about childhood grief.
  • Talk about the funeral or memorial service. Explain what happens and find out if your child/youth wants to attend.
  • Think about ways your child/youth can say goodbye to the deceased. This might be by attending the funeral or presenting flowers to the family.
  • Invite your child/youth to come back to you if he or she has more questions or has heard disturbing rumors. Give assurance that you will answer any question to which you know the answer or find the correct information when you don’t.
  • Talk about memories – good ones and not-so-good ones.
  • Be aware that your child/youth may experience bad dreams. Be open in discussing their concerns and feelings when bad dreams occur.
  • Watch for behavioral changes in your child/youth. They are often symptoms of internal stress.
  • Friends, family, and schoolmates often find comfort in doing something in the name of the person who died, such as providing a memorial of some kind.
  • Sudden death, violent death, or death of a young person is especially hard to mourn. Disruption of sleep, appetite, and daily activities are normal responses.
  • If you find your child/youth is developing problems that you don’t know how to handle, don’t hesitate to seek professional help.

SAMPLE LETTER TO PARENTS-ELEMENTARY

(Date)

Dear Parents:

We regret to inform you of the death of a student who attended our school. Today, a student was killed ______(details).

When we learned of (this student’s) death, our Crisis Team was activated and our crisis plan was put into action. We decided to share the information with our students. It was important for all the students to have the same information to avoid rumors, which start so quickly. The facts were first shared with all teachers. School guidance counselors, school psychologists, and the school’s crisis response team were on hand to support school staff and visit each class, offering the students a time to talk and to share feelings. Students who were most upset were taken aside for individual and small group discussion and will be closely monitored. Special groups may be formed, as needed, to give some of the students more time to adjust to this tragedy.

You may see some of the following emotions and behaviors:

  • Tearfulness
  • Dreams – some of them scary
  • Irritability
  • Clinginess
  • Moodiness
  • Physical complaints – stomachaches, headaches, etc.
  • Inability to concentrate
  • A temporary dip in grades
  • More pronounced fears of dying, of the dark, of walking home alone, etc.
  • Regressive behaviors such as reverting to thumb sucking, bed-wetting, etc.

We have attached a handout that provides helpful suggestions for assisting your child in dealing with this tragic event.

If there are any questions or concerns about your child’s behavior, please contact us.

Sincerely,

PARENT ACTIVITIES TO HELP CHILDREN

COPE WITH DEATH/LOSS

1. Help make a scrapbook about the deceased. In the scrapbook, describe special memories, draw pictures, or include mementos and photographs.

2. Suggest writing a letter to the friend. A written good-bye can help provide closure.

3. Talk to your child/youth about how they feel and acknowledge his/her grief. It may be helpful to hear that parents are sad, too. Parents should express that it is okay to cry and that it may take a while to feel better.

4. Encourage drawing a picture about their feelings. Then ask questions regarding the picture to encourage discussion of feelings:

  • What makes you most sad?
  • How does it feel to talk to friend/family about the student who died?
  • What do you wish you had told the student before he/she died?
  • Is it hard to concentrate on your schoolwork?
  • Are there some words you are hearing for which you don’t know the meaning?
  • What do you miss most about the student who died?
  • What is one good/bad memory you have about the student who died?

5. Provide paper plates to draw faces of various feelings related to the loss of a peer. On the back of the paper plate write: