Internal assessment resource reference number Eng/2/1_A6
PAGE FOR TEACHER USE
2009
Internal Assessment Resource
Subject reference: English 2.1
Internal assessment resource reference number:
Eng/2/1_A6
Prequels and Sequels
Supports internal assessment for:
Achievement Standard 90375 v2
Produce crafted and developed creative writing
Credits: 3
Date version published: February 2009
Ministry of Education For use in internal assessment
quality assurance status: from 2009
12
© Crown 2009
Internal assessment resource reference number Eng/2/1_A6
PAGE FOR TEACHER USE
Teacher Guidelines:
The following guidelines are supplied to enable teachers to carry out valid and consistent assessment using this internal assessment resource.
Context/setting:
This resource may be used as an extension to the study of a text. Students will develop a piece of writing that demonstrates their understanding of a character within that text but which may describe action which occurs outside the original text.
Conditions:
This activity should be worked on in the classroom under teacher supervision to ensure authenticity. Teachers may guide students through the preparatory material which helps them to identify techniques which may be used to develop their piece of writing.
As students develop their final drafts, teachers can offer appropriate guidance that writing may need further work on ideas, language, structure or accuracy in spelling, punctuation or paragraphing. Teachers may not correct errors, rewrite sentences or suggest specific ideas. Students should have access to dictionaries to check their writing. Word processing is acceptable providing it is done under teacher supervision.
Teachers are directed to Explanatory Notes 10 - 12 in the achievement standard.
Resource requirements:
This activity will follow on from the study of an in class text. Students will need access to that text in order to keep references accurate.
Additional information:
None.
12
© Crown 2009
Internal assessment resource reference number Eng/2/1_A6
PAGE FOR STUDENT USE
2009
Internal Assessment Resource
Subject Reference: English 2.1
Internal assessment resource reference number: Eng/2/1_A6
Prequels and Sequels
Supports internal assessment for:
Achievement Standard 90375 v2
Produce crafted and developed creative writing
Credits: 3
Student Instructions Sheet
This activity will help you write a prequel or sequel to a text. You will develop a piece of writing that demonstrates your understanding of a character within that text but which may describe action which occurs outside the original text.
You will produce a narrative based on a character from the text of at least 400 words.
You will be assessed on:
· how well you develop you ideas
· your ability to use a writing style that is appropriate to the task
· how well you structure your writing
· your accuracy in spelling, punctuation and grammar.
Introduction
In recent years contemporary novelists have produced sequels to some of the great classics. Some of them include:
· a sequel to Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice which suggests what might have happened once Mr Darcy and Elizabeth are married
· a sequel to Daphne du Maurier’s Rebecca which looks at what happened once Mandalay was burnt to the ground
· a sequel to Margaret Mitchell’s Gone with the Wind which continues the romance of Scarlet O’Hara and Rhett Butler.
In this activity you will develop your own narrative around a character you know well from your recently completed text study. The story you write needs to show your central character behaving in a way that is typical of his or her behaviour in the original text, however you will place him or her in a new situation. Your writing should be based on one incident.
Here are some possibilities:
· you may choose to write about an event that occurs before the beginning of the original text.
· you may choose to develop a story around an event that is referred to but not developed in the original text (eg what happens when a character goes away, for instance).
· you may describe an event that occurs after the original text ends.
· you may place the character in a different era and show how she or he might fit into a different society.
Task 1: Reading samples and getting inspired
a) Read Exemplar A Arrows of Discord on page 8. The student has written about the character of Iago from Shakespeare’s play Othello. Iago is sneaky, manipulative and deceitful. At the end of the play Othello and his wife Desdemona are dead because of a plan hatched by Iago. This student has chosen to background the play suggesting a motive for Iago’s actions. He draws on known qualities of two key characters, and incidents which connect to events in the play.
In the middle column are comments which show where the student has drawn on his knowledge of the play to make connections in his own story.
In the column on the right are comments which show why this piece of writing was awarded excellence.
Task 2: Planning
a) Think about your own writing. Choose a character you would like to be the focus of your writing. Ask yourself the following questions and take notes:
· Which part of the original story do I want to connect my narrative to?
· What situation do I want to put the character into?
· Which (if any) other characters will be important to my narrative?
· Which key qualities of the character is it important to show?
· What attitudes should the character express?
· How would the character respond to this situation?
· How should language be used to develop character?
You could also look at the approaches taken in Exemplars B and C.
b) Complete the planner on page 6 for the character(s) who will be important in your narrative. The planner provided has been completed for the excellence exemplar Arrows of Discord to show you how it could be used.
Planning Chart
Main CharacterIago
qualities
deceiving / racist / jealous
situation
at war with the Turks / passed over for promotion / believes his wife unfaithful
Imagery
Green - jealousy / Black - racism
motivation
REVENGE
Second character:
Othello
valiant soldier / trusting / seeks acceptance from Venetian society / secretly courts Desdemona
language
‘Ha’ / ‘Honest Iago’ / ‘bright swords’
Task 3 – Writing your prequel / sequel
a) Your writing should be at least 400 words long. It should develop ideas based around a character you know well from your recently completed text study. Check the ideas you recorded in the planning stage - have you used them effectively?
b) You should craft your writing to create effects by integrating material which links back to the original text.
c) Your writing should be clearly structured.
d) You should use writing conventions accurately.
As you develop your draft, check your writing against these criteria from the achievement standard. This will help you to focus on the aspects that can be improved.
You may not use any of the material from the exemplars in your own work.
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© Crown 2009
Internal assessment resource reference number Eng/2/1_A6
PAGE FOR STUDENT USE
EXEMPLAR A: EXCELLENCE: Arrows of Discord[Based on Othello, William Shakespeare]
The flash of cannon blasts heaved the boat under Othello’s feet. The gleam of a flying grappling hook caught his eye as it homed in on the Turkish ship. Othello tasted the salty mix of sweat and sea water on his cracked lips and steadied his stance.
“Ready yourselves men. The infidel approaches! We must stand fast against them. It is time for Christianity’s fangs to sink deep into the Turks.”
At that moment the Turkish caravel collided with the Venetian vessel and the gangways were lowered. Othello’s militants charged, their fierce commander at their right flank. The flash of bright blades as they hacked down the scimitars of the Ottoman forces was the scene on which the sun set and the Turkish cries greeted the stars.
The deathly calm sea was in direct contrast with the massacre spread before Othello’s eyes. Yet what a prize: the Turkish ship laden with spices and the Ottoman general as hostage. Othello’s eyes glinted a tinge of green as visions of acceptance flashed behind his eyelids. Now he was truly a Venetian.
Iago’s eyes glinted too, but for a different reason. He saw a hold full of spice. If only the crawling Cassio and his master, the Moor, were not overseeing the operation, his fortune would be secured. Iago’s bitter eyes fell on the Moor. Him – a Venetian? Ha!! Hatred rose from deep within him, threatening to burst through his honest façade. Iago struggled to bring the rage under control. Despite his keen intuition he could not recognise the racism deep within himself. Instead he focused on the rumours. The Venetian infidel had cuckolded his wife! The strumpet! Soon he would have vengeance.
“Brave honest Iago!” The Moor stood before him, his palm outstretched in greeting. Iago accepted the open-palmed shake and allowed a sad smile to draw across his face. Secretly he abhorred the touch of the infidel’s black hand.
“Well met, Signor Othello. You have proved yourself more than a Venetian in battle.” (‘More like a Turk’, Iago thought.)
“Ay, a success ’t’was for many, but a grave defeat for the few at our feet. I see you struggling to find your smile, friend. Perhaps thoughts of your lost men cast a shadow upon our victory?”
“’tis so noble Othello. While I smile on the outside, I seethe on the inside just thinking of the infidels’ blades and their evil deeds against Christianity.”
“Come, let us return to Venice,” Othello declared, “so that the Senate might bestow upon your shoulders the honours you have earned.”
With that, the Moor boarded the ship, followed by hatred’s incarnation.
* * *
The scene that night was one of joyous revelry: Venetian high society gathered in full dress to honour those who had fought and won against the mighty Ottoman Empire. The banquet table, laden with delectable meats and fine Sumerian wine, was surrounded by the vivacious faces of the diners.
In the middle of the congenial gathering one man sat, a smile gracing his face like the others. However the charm was forced as Iago sat, once again, a man passed over for promotion, and viewed with hatred’s eyes the Moor escorting his strumpet-wife Emilia to a table. Wasn’t it enough that the Moor should cuckold him, without now flaunting it in public? Othello’s respectful treatment of Emilia he saw only as evidence of an affair between them. Curse his black hide! And now Othello appeared to be spreading his evil Muslim influence to Venetian society as he secretly courted Desdemona.
“But the Moor in his complacency will prove
an easy target for my arrows of discord and I,
Christianity’s fine archer,
shall start the hunting.”
With these thoughts, Iago slipped out through the banquet hall doors, unnoticed, his conscious mind scheming and his unconscious hating. / Ways in which the narrative reflect the play:
In Shakespeare’s play Othello the Turks are identified as the enemy and Othello is asked to engage in battle at sea against them. This is therefore a convincing scenario.
A link to the reference to ‘bright swords’ made by Othello in Act One of the play.
Othello is a victim of ‘the green –eyed monster’ of jealousy in the play.
Othello seeks assurance that he is worthy in the eyes of the Venetians.
Iago is an opportunist. He is always out for personal gain.
He loathes Cassio for the respect he shows Othello.
‘Ha’ – a phrase associated with Iago.
Iago hates Othello. He makes racist references in the play; he believes Othello has slept with his wife.
Typical of Othello’s speech, his ‘open nature that thinks men honest that but seem to be so.’
Iago lies to Othello’s face.
Othello speaks in grand phrases.
Iago’s appearance belies his hatred. He is scheming.
Othello marries Desdemona in secret.
Iago plans his revenge. / Comments linked to assessment criteria:
Ideas are developed and integrated convincingly. The writer convincingly recreates Shakespeare’s characters in this narrative and also sustains close links to the original text as outlined in the middle column.
Awareness of time and place, eg the spices on board the ship, the descriptions of the battle with scimitars, the Sumerian wine, the references to Christians versus Muslims show maturity of understanding and skilful attention to detail.
Controlled writing is shown through the use of sophisticated language used appropriately to give a sense of the past.
Control is also shown with the ongoing integration of material that links back to the original text, from gestures to theme, language and physical characteristics.
The confidence this writer shows in this powerful story by weaving together aspects of a new tale and the original story commands attention.
Structure is effective because it builds to a conclusion which shows a plausible reason for the actions which follow in Shakespeare’s Othello.
Writing conventions are used accurately.
EXEMPLAR B: MERIT
[Based on Closed, Stranger, Kate De Goldi]
My imagination. My paranoid, dangerous imagination. I'm just making it up I tried to tell myself. But my brain wasn't listening. I had to find out. I had to find Meredith and get her to persuade me that I was making it up. I stormed out of the Italian style, newly renovated kitchen and slammed the door. I booted Westie's car a bit harder this time. I got into Dee's car and roared off in the direction of the Uni.
I somehow made my way to the Music School without realising I was driving. I waited in the car in the place where we always met after Meredith's lessons. I barely managed to wait the thirty five minutes for Meredith without spontaneously combusting. I sat, brooding, thinking about Meredith, who was at that moment in the building just over there, playing her beautiful music. That was the problem. She was so perfect. How did she trick me into thinking she could settle for a guy like me.
It all started to make sense. After Meredith saw Westie in the Pompei Bar she couldn't help herself. And Westie. He couldn't bare the thought of me actually beating him for once. I had a serious relationship going with the perfect girl. And Westie, he had to ruin the small amount of happiness that I had in my life. But not this time. Westie hadn't won. I was still in control. I thought.