Your Name: ______

OPTIONAL: Black History Month Project

Objective: You will read Trump’s remarks about Black History Month and revise and rewrite all moments of incoherence. You will also correct his grammar, point out fallacies in his thinking, cut out superfluous narcissistic or defensive references, and eliminate repetitiveness. You will also correct any areas where he is clearly has no idea what he is talking about. (he seems to think Fredrick Douglass is still alive?)

In other words, you will be required to write an entirely new statement for him fit to be spoken by a President of the United States to this great country.

Trivia fact:Did you know, early in his career, Trump was sued by the federal government forrefusing to rent to African Americans? But now he knows, in his own words, “They are incredible people.”

Source:

Section #1 of Trump’s Remarks (unedited):

"During this month, we honor the tremendous history of the African-Americans throughout our country, throughout the world if you really think about it, right? And this story’s one of unimaginable sacrifice, hard work and faith in America. I’ve gotten a real glimpse during the campaign, I’d go around with Ben to a lot of different places that I wasn’t so familiar with. They’re incredible people. And I want to thank Ben Carson who’s going to be heading up HUD. It’s a big job, and it’s a job that’s not only housing, it’s mind and spirit, right, Ben? And you understand that. Nobody’s gonna be better than Ben.

Last month, we celebrated the life of Reverend Martin Luther King Jr., whose incredible example is unique in American history. You read all about Dr. Martin Luther King a week ago when somebody said I took the statue out of my office. And it turned out that that was fake news. Fake news. The statue is cherished, it’s one of the favorite things in the – and we have some good ones. We have Lincoln and we have Jefferson, we have Dr. Martin Luther King and we have – but they said the statue, the bust of Dr. Martin Luther King was taken out of the office. And it was never even touched. So I think it was a disgrace. But that’s the way the press is, very unfortunate.

I am very proud now that we have a museum at the National Mall where people can learn about Reverend King, so many other things. Frederick Douglass is an example of somebody who has done an amazing job and is being recognized more and more, I notice. Harriet Tubman, Rosa Parks and millions more black Americans who made America what it is today. A big impact. I’m proud to honor this heritage and will be honoring it more and more."

Writing Hints: It might be wise to consider editingout the angry rant about how someone said he took Dr. Martin Luther King’s statue out of his office. Remember this is a statement to honor amazing people in history and not an opportunity for Trump to air his complaints over hurt feelings.

Instead of talking about the statue, perhaps write a few sentences about how Martin Luther King Jr. was a clergyman and civil rights activist. Talk about how he was one of the most important moral voices of the civil rights movement through nonviolent civil disobedience.

Trump’s reference to Frederick Douglass is particularly odd. “Frederick Douglass is an example of somebody who had done an amazing job and is being recognized more and more, I notice.”

Seems he clearly hasno ideawho Fredrick Douglass is.In your re-write, you should include actual facts about the accomplishments of Fredrick Douglass.

Section #2 (unedited):

“The folks at the table in almost all cases have been great friends and supporters. And Darryl, I met Darryl when he was defending me on television. … And the people that were on the other side of the argument didn’t have a chance, right? And Paris has done an amazing job in a very hostile CNN community. He’s all by himself, seven people and Paris. And I’ll take Paris over the seven. … But I don’t watch CNN, so I don’t get to see as much. … I don’t like watching fake news.

So – but Fox has treated me very nice. Wherever Fox is, thank you. We’re going to need better schools and we need them soon. We need more jobs. We need better wages, a lot better wages. We’re going to work very hard on the inner-city. Ben’s going to be doing that, big league, big time. It’s one of his big, big things that he’s going to be looking at.

We need safer communities and we’re going to do that with law enforcement. We’re going to make it safe. We’re going to make it much better than it is right now. Right now, it’s terrible. And I saw you talking about it the other night, Paris, on something else that was – really, you did a fantastic job the other night on a very unrelated show".

WritingHints:Eliminate all references to Fox and CNN. These outlets have nothing to do with Black History Month. Cut or rewrite the adjectives “big, big things.” (I had a better speech prepared at my Kindergarten graduation. I’m serious.) Additionally, consider rewriting the vague and confusing sentence, “And I saw you talking about it the other night, Paris, on something else that was – really, you did a fantastic job the other night on a very unrelated show.” Why is Paris mentioned four times in one section? Why Paris?

Final Section #3 (unedited)

“I’m ready to do my part…I’m ready to do my part. And I will say this, we’re going to work together. This is a great group. This is a group that’s been so special to me. You really helped me a lot. If you remember, I wasn’t going to do well with the African American community, and after they heard me speaking and talking about the inner city and a lots of other things, we ended up getting – I won’t go into details – but we ended up getting substantially more than other candidates who had run in the past years. And now we’re going to take that to new levels."

Hint:Substantially more what? Add details and finish his sentence.And “the African Americans”?! Seriously!? Consider using stronger verbs, and create compound-complex sentences. Eliminate run-on sentences and comma splices. The repetition ofgreatis hackneyed and stale. We’re tired of the wordgreatand it is only week two of his presidency.

If this was a speech for my class, I would give in an F. Do better thanfor thisPresident of the United States. Do better for American. Speak better, write better, live by a higher standard of moral codes. As a wise man once said,"Change doesn't come from Washington. Change come to Washington."

Grading Rubric: 5 pts each step you complete.

____ Turned in by due date via Edmodo link (if you print or hand write, this is fine too). For full extra credit, you must submit via Edmodo link online by the last day of Black History Month, Tuesday, February 28th.

____ Does your re-write eliminate all random references that shouldn’t be in a Black History Month speech?

____ Does your re-write include mentions WITH accomplishments of at least 2 past significant African American historical figures from 1900 to today? (you must reference what they did…not just a list of names like Trump did).

____ Does your re-write include mentions WITH accomplishments of at least 2 past significant African American historical figures from before 1900? (you must reference what they did…not just a list of names like Trump did).

_____ Include a couple photos of middle or upperclass African American life today...since Trump speaks as if he thinks every black person is living in crime ridden “inner cities”, show evidence this isn’t accurate.

_____ Did you use some intelligent sounding descriptive words? Avoid “big”. Use an online thesaurus to find better words. Presidents should sound smarter than the average high school student. Jeez.

Total Points Earned: ______out of possible 30