FLC Writing Program / Writing Conventions

Williams’ Concision

In Style: Lessons in Clarity and Grace, Joseph Williams identifies several strategies for making sentences “shapely.”

5 Principles of Concision

  1. Delete words that mean little or nothing (“actually,” “certain,” “really”)
  2. Delete words that repeat the meaning of other words (“each and every,” “hopes and desires”)
  3. Delete words implied by other words (“final outcome,” “each individual”)
  4. Replace a phrase with a word (“There is a need for voters to” to “voters must”; “the thing to do before anything else” to “first”)
  5. Change negatives to affirmatives—unless you want to emphasize the negative (“not many” to “few”; “not notice” to “overlook”)

Balancing Metadiscourse
Whereas metadiscourse is important to all writing, too much can be distracting. Generally speaking, metadiscourse is language that refers to

·  The writer’s intentions (“to sum up,” “candidly,” “I believe”)

·  Directions to the reader (“note that,” “consider now,” “as you see”)

·  The structure of the text (“first,” “second,” “finally,” “therefore,” “however”)

Cut metadiscourse that

  1. Attributes your ideas to a source (don’t announce that something has been “observed,” “noticed,” and “noted,” just state the fact
  2. From “High divorce rates have been observed to occur in areas that have been determined to have low population density” to “High divorce rates occur in areas with low population areas.”
  3. Announces your topic (don’t always tell your reader what your sentence is about)
  4. From “This section introduces another problem, that of noise pollution. The first thing to say about it is that noise pollution exists not only…” to “Another problem is noise pollution. First, it exists not only…”
  5. Hedges and intensifies your ideas (don’t use certain terms to prove your certainty—hedges qualify certainty; intensifiers increase it)
  6. Common hedges: “usually,” “often,” “sometimes,” “may,” “seem,” could”
  7. Common intensifiers: “very,” “clearly,” obviously,” “central,” key,” “show,” “prove”
  8. Records your thinking (don’t tell a story about what you think )
  9. Common metadiscourse about thinking: “It is my opinion that,” “The main point supporting my point of view is”

(Good metadiscourse guides readers: first, second, therefore, on the other hand. Good hedges avoid overstatement: perhaps, seems, could)