October 5, 2014JESUS & MORRIE 3. Forgiven and Forgiving
Matthew 6:7-15
Stage Set:
Front and center on the stage are two chairs. The one on the left is an easy chair. On the audience side of the chair is a small table with a box of tissues, magazines, newspapers and books stacked messily on it. On the far side of the chair is an IV drip. Sitting in it is Morrie, an older man dressed in pajamas covered with a bathrobe and slippers. An afghan is over his lap.
Placed opposite the big chair is a simple folding chair, occupied by Mitch, dressed in casual clothes. His tape recorder is on the floor between them.
Nearby, on a pedestal is a bust of a man’s head that looks like Morrie.
Pastor:Forgiveness. There could be any number of stories I could share, ancient and current, that speak to the difficulty or the power of forgiveness. (Apartheid, Ponzi schemes, school shootings…) Maybe you have a personal story of your own to tell.
The one I want to share with you is about the Cavalese cable car disaster,which occurred on February 3, 1998 near the Italian town of Cavalese, a ski resort in the Dolomite Mountains. Twenty people died when a United States Marine Corps EA-6B Prowler aircraft, against all regulations, flew too low, in order for the pilots to "have fun" and "take videos of the scenery,"and cut a cable supporting a gondola of an aerial tramway.The tram to the mountain slope below, causing the death of the 20 people. The pilot, Captain Richard J. Ashby, and his navigator were put on trial in the United States in 1999 and were found not guilty of involuntary manslaughter and negligent homicide.
Do you remember this?I remember seeing on the news an interview with the parents of one of the dead victims following the acquittal of Marine Capt. Richard Ashby. The pain of their grief and anger was obvious. You could see it in their faces. You could hear it in their voices. Their loved one was dead. Someone needed to take responsibility. Their grief was deepened by the harsh reality that the one they believed to be guilty was now absolved by the court.
You and I can understand their anger and appreciate their frustration. When something painful happens it is human nature to access blame, to target someone or something with our rage, to make someone pay for our hurt. We look for justice, for a way of evening the score, to balance the books as if somehow this settling will soothe the pain or alleviate the anger pent up in our hearts. Even though most of us have not been afflicted by another to the same degree as these parents, all of us have had to deal in some way with being hurt by another and wanting to get even.
Jesus has said that whatever the courts may decide, whatever the facts of the case may be, true healing and resolution comes only with the act of forgiveness. We remind ourselves of this fact week after week in worship as we pray the prayer Jesus taught us to pray...
“Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name... forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us...”
Reader:Matthew 6:7-15
After Jesus teaches his disciples this prayer, he goes on to explain that there is a direct connection between what God does and what we do. In the matter of forgiveness, he tells us that we cannot receive God's forgiveness without forgiving others.
In the book Tuesdays With Morrie, Morrie talks to his friend Mitch on the twelfth Tuesday of their visits about the importance of being able to forgive.
Morrie:Points to the sculptured bust of a man's head.
That’ s me. A friend of mine sculpted that maybe thirty years ago. His name was Norman. We used to spend so much time together. We went swimming. We took rides to New York. He had me over to his house in Cambridge and he sculpted that bust of me down in his basement. It took several weeks to do it, but he really wanted to get it right...”
Slight pause as Morrie reflects…
Well, here's the sad part of the story. Norman and his wife moved away to Chicago. A little while later, my wife, Charlotte, had to have a pretty serious operation. Norman and his wife never got in touch with us. Charlotte and I were very hurt because they never called to see how she was. So we dropped the relationship.
Over the years, I met Norman a few times and he always tried to reconcile, but I didn't accept it. I wasn't satisfied with his explanation. I was prideful. I shrugged him off.
Speaking with a choking voice…
Mitch... a few years ago... he died of cancer. I feel so sad. I never got to see him. I never got to forgive. It pains me now so much...
Morrie weeps for a few moments as Mitch sits silently, looking at him sympathetically.
Mitch reaches over and touches Morrie’s arm…
Wipes his eyes with a tissue, thenwhispers hoarsely….
If s not just other people we need to forgive, Mitch. We also need to forgive ourselves.
Mitch:Ourselves?
Morrie:Yes. For all the things we didn't do. All the things we should have done. You can't get stuck on the regrets of what should have happened. That doesn't help you when you get to where I am.
I always wished I had done more with my work; I wished I had written more books.
I used to beat myself up over it. Now… as I'm dying… I see that never did any good.
Make peace. You need to make peace with yourself and everyone around you... forgive yourself. Forgive others. Don't wait, Mitch. Not everyone gets the time I'm getting. Not everyone is as lucky.
Pastor:I understand the deep-seated need we have to make someone pay for our pain, even if it's our self. But I'm not always sure why we do it. To make someone else suffer for our suffering only perpetuates more suffering. It may bring some satisfaction, but it doesn't bring joy. It may justify our hurt, but it isn't healing. As Morrie discovered in his dying, forgiveness is liberating; it frees our soul from the cycle of revenge and remorse.
However, Morrie’s advice to Mitch to “forgive yourself and forgive others,” fails to reveal where we get the power to forgive like that. Where can the aggrieved parents I mentioned at the beginning of this sermon find the motivation and the power to forgive? Does our saying “You should forgive,” carry the weight to produce forgiveness? Does Jesus Christ saying “You should forgive,” have the authority to produce true forgiveness?
Jesus doesn't simply demand forgiveness of his followers. He reminds us that our forgiveness of others is directly connected to God's forgiveness of us. In fact, later in Matthew’s gospel in chapter 18, Jesus tells a story about forgiveness.
A servant owed a king a debt that was impossible to pay, so the king ordered the servant and his family to be sold into slavery. The servant fell at the feet of the king and begged for forgiveness, and the king took pity and erased the debt.
Barely out of the king’s sight, the forgiven servant came upon fellow servant who owed him a few dollars. He grabbed him by the throat and ordered him to pay up. The fellow servant fell to his knees and begged for forgiveness. What do you think the demanding servant does, the one who just had an impossible debt forgiven? Does he in turn forgive? No, he threw his fellow servant into jail until the debt was repaid. When the king heard of it, he was furious. He summoned the man and drilled him. “I forgave you your debt when you begged me for mercy. Shouldn't you be compelled to be merciful to your fellow servant who asked mercy?”
I know there are all sorts of questions and contingencies and exceptions. What if the offending party doesn’t ask for forgiveness? What if they are unrepentant?
Believe me, I know all the questions and rationalizations. I don't, however, know all the answers. All I know is that Jesus Christ tells his followers to struggle with these questions of forgiveness from the beginning point of trust – trust that our merciful God has forgiven those who have recognized their own sins and have asked for forgiveness. It’s not a matter of our deserving God's forgiveness, for we are guilty. No. It's a matter of God's compassionate grace and liberating love.
Start with that reality, Jesus says, and draw from this “abundant life fountain” God's strength to forgive others… and forgive yourself. The idea is captured in one of my favorite Bible passages, 1 John 4:7-12: “Beloved, let us love one another, because love is from God; everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, for God is love. God's love was revealed among us in this way: God sent his only Son into the world so that we might live through him. In this is love, not that we loved God but that God loved us and sent us his Son to be the atoning sacrifice for our sins. Beloved, since God loved us so much, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; if we love one another, God lives in us, and God's love is perfected in us.”
In his dying days, Morrie admonished his friend Mitch to forgive.
Morrie:Speaking to Mitch…
Forgive yourself.
Forgive others.
Don't wait, Mitch.... Make peace. You need to make peace with yourself and everyone around you.
Pastor:Our Father in heaven, reveal who you are.
Keep us forgiven with you and forgiving others....
For yours is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory forever.
Amen.