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Book by Rachel Nelson Fortner
Music and Lyrics by Betsy and Bill Peterson
A Pocket Full of Plays
Cast
JACK………………………………………………………………………………………
MOTHER…………………………………………………………………………………
BUTTERCUP…………………………………………………………………………….
King Leofrick/GIANT………………………………………………………………
Travelling Minstrels
NELLIE……………………………………………………………………………………
NILES………………………………………………………………………………………
NATALIE…………………………………………………………………………………
NATASHA…………………………………………………………………………………
NEDRA……………………………………………………………………………………
Very Mean Landlords
MR.BADWELL……………………………………………………………………………
BORIS………………………………………………………………………………………
BAXTER……………………………………………………………………………………
Beautiful Fairies
FELICIA……………………………………………………………………………………
VANESSA…………………………………………………………………………………..
LUCRETIA…………………………………………………………………………………
LUCINDA…………………………………………………………………………………..
CONTESSA………………………………………………………………………………...
Castle Maids
MILLICENT………………………………………………………………………………
FIONA…………………………………………………………………………………….
MAGGIE…………………………………………………………………………………
SALLY.…………………………………………………………………………………….
CHARLOTTE …………………………………………………………………………….
LIZZY…………………………………………………………………………………….
DAPHNE …………………………………………………………………………………
PENELOPE………………………………………………………………………………
Overture
Following a brief overture highlighting tuneful snippets of songs within the script, this musical opens with one group of fairies peeking from behind the curtain, stage right, and the second group peeking from behind the curtain stage left. Once they sing the following introduction of invitation, they move in a fairylike motion around the stage to bring on the cast while they all introduce the tale and characters to the audience.
Once Upon a Time...
(Cast)
Come with me…………come with me
And we’ll see…………and we’ll see
Come with me, come with me
And we’ll see what we see…
Once upon a time and very long ago
There was a boy named Jack, who loved his mother so
You’ll meet his cow, some bad guys, too
You’ll hear of beans and turnip stew….
(Spoken to one another) Turnip stew?!……yuchk!
Minstrels who will share a tale of woe and fear
A giant who will dare to steal away all cheer
But don’t despair. We shall not fail
We’ll save this lovely fairy tale.
No, don’t despair, we’ll make it rhyme
We’ll have our perfect once upon a time.
During finish of song, fairies magically whisk everyone offstage. Curtain closes as Minstrels step downstage in front of curtain.
NELLIE: Come one, come all, and gather round,
We’ll tell you all a tale.
NILES: We’re travelling minstrels with stories galore,
To amuse you, we will not fail!
NATASHA: Tonight we have a story in mind
And we promise it’s sure to delight.
NATALIE: It concerns a boy, some beans, and a cow,
Plus a giant to fill you with fright!
NEDRA: So listen well and don’t say a word,
For we shall have such fun.
NELLIE: “Jack and the Beanstalk” is the name of our play,
And it’s time that we begun! (All give her a look for the bad rhyme,
and Nellie shrugs.)
Scene 1
SETTING: Jack’s house, a dilapidated little hovel
AT RISE: Jack is discovered standing in front of his house.
JACK: Hi! My name is Jack. That’s right, as in “Beanstalk.” I live here with my mother; we’re basically poverty stricken. Our one delight is Buttercup, the family cow.
Enter Mother from behind the house.
MOTHER: Jack, my lad, come here and kiss your old mother. Your supper’s on the table.
JACK: Turnip stew again, I'll bet.
MOTHER: Oh, Jack, things have gone to the dogs, me thinks. If our luck doesn’t change soon, I fear I’ll be pushing up daisies and you, my sweet boy, will be an orphan. Ah, well, let’s have a nice plate of turnip stew, and I’m certain we’ll feel better. Tomorrow you will have to take the cow to market and get the best price for her that you can.
Enter Buttercup from behind the house.
Buttercup: “Cow?” as in “How now brown cow?” I do very well, thank you.
JACK: Oh, Buttercup! We were just talking about you.
Buttercup: Gee, I hope it was all good! Jack, you’re the best friend a cow could ever have.
JACK: Ha! Buttercup, you only say that cuz it’s true!
MOTHER: Come along Jack.
Exit Jack, Buttercup, and Mother behind the house. Enter Mr. Badwell with his henchmen, Boris and Baxter, from stage right.
BORIS: Well this is it, Gloomy Down Lane—a dirty little dump. I bet they’re nine cents short of a dime, Boss.
Badwell: Shhh, not so loud Boris—we don’t want the old widow to hear us.
BAXTER: When she figures out that Mr. Theodore Badwell, president of Badwell Bank, otherwise known as her landlord, is here at her humble shack, she’ll flip her lid.
BORIS: This just tickles me—especially on a dark, cold night! Boss, can we come back and throw ‘em out when it’s dark?
Mr. Badwell: All right, that’s enough! This is fun and that’s a fact. We’ve travelled a long way on this road of corruption.
BAXTER: That’s right, boss. It seems only yesterday we were struggling young scalawags without a penny between us.
BORIS: We’ve come so far. I think we could consider ourselves mature ner’ do wells.
Mr. Badwell: Yes, top-of-the-line schmucks!
It’s Nice to be Naughty
(Landlords)
It’s nice to be naughty
To make a big scene
It’s nice to be naughty
Naughty and mean
Mr. Badwell: Make no mistake sir,
Dispel any doubt
I love to see them lose their house
So I can kick them out!
It’s nice to be naughty
To make a big scene
It’s nice to be naughty
Naughty and mean
Mr. Badwell: It gives me great pleasure
To see my tenants squirm
But I never crack a smile
No, I’d rather eat a worm… (spoken) yuck!
It’s nice to be naughty
To make a big scene
It’s nice to be naughty
Naughty and (characters all look at one another preparing for a big ending)……MEAN!
(All break into a sinister laugh.)
Jack, Buttercup, and Mother come out from behind the house.
Mr. Badwell: Good afternoon, ma'am. As your Landlord, I’m sorry to tell you your rent has not been paid.
MOTHER: Oh?
BORIS: We’re sad to say you'll have to vacate this little cottage of yours.
MOTHER: No!
BAXTER: We just hate to bring you such bad news, but so it goes.
MOTHER: Woe!
Mr. BadwelL: We know you’re broke---so, let's just do this quietly.
MOTHER: Ahhhhh. (She collapses to the ground sobbing.)
BORIS: We ain’t into ugly scenes.
BAXTER: Tears ain’t gonna make no datgum difference to us.
BORIS: We’re hard as nails when it comes to blubbering females.
BAXTER: Or blubbering males for that matter.
NILES: Oh dear, oh dear, Jack and his Mom
Are thrown out on the street?
NATALIE: Without a home to call their own
What dangers will they meet!
NELLIE: How heartless can these Landlords be,
To give them both the boot?
NILES: To toss them out into the night
If they don’t have the loot.
NATASHA: Into the darkness and the cold
Our tragic pair will roam!
NEDRA: For that’s the fate of any poor soul
Who doesn’t have a home!
Mr. Badwell: Stop making such a fuss old woman; you’re giving me a headache.
BORIS: It’s our standard policy: No pay, no stay.
BAXTER: And the boss don’t like to ask twice.
MOTHER: But I haven’t the means to pay the rent. All I can offer is our family cow.
JACK: Ma!
Buttercup: Yeah, Ma!
BORIS: What do you think, Boss?
BAXTER: Is she for real?
Mr. Badwell: Look lady, we don’t want your cow; we want our money. I’ll give you ‘til tomorrow, and when we come back around, show us the money or start packin’!
BAXTER & BORIS: Let’s get out of here.
Landlords exit stage right.
MOTHER: You must leave for market at sunup—or we’ll be out on our ear.
Buttercup: Why do I have a sinking feeling that I’m part of the solution?
Curtain closes to music.
Scene 2
SETTING: Action takes place in front of the curtain.
AT RISE: Jack and Buttercup enter from stage right on their way to market.
JACK: Well, Buttercup, we’d better get going.
BUTTERCUP: Are we going where I think we’re going?
JACK: Oh Buttercup, I don’t want to sell you at market, honest I don’t.
BUTTERCUP: Well here’s a simple solution—DON’T!
JACK: But the rent is due, and we’ve eaten the last of the turnip stew.
BUTTERCUP: Speaking of stew—that’s probably where I’ll end up, alongside the carrots and potatoes.
JACK: (Sighs) I guess you gotta take one for the team.
BUTTERCUP: Well that’s one way to put it.
It’s Hard to Say ‘So Long’
(Jack and Buttercup)
Jack: Never had a brother
Barely had a friend
But you’ve been like… (spoken with wide-eyed realization) a sister!
And it’s hard to see it end.
Buttercup: I’ll miss our little walks
Jack: I’ll miss our little talks
Buttercup: Don’t want to mooove along
Both: But we’ll always have “our song”
Jack: It’s so hard to say good-bye
Please, Buttercup, don’t cry
No fears, my friend, be strong
Both: It’s so hard to say so long
Both: I know we’ll be okay
There’s just no other way
Somehow we just belong
It’s so hard to say so long
Buttercup: It’s time to mooooove along
Both: It’s so hard to say…(spoken sadly) so long!
Enter Fairies Felicia, Lucretia, Vanessa, Contessa, and Lucinda from stage right.
FELICIA: Greetings, young man!
JACK: (Startled) Hello.
LUCRETIA: Where are you going?
JACK: I’m off to market to sell my cow. Who are you?
CONTESSA: We are the fairies from the enchanted garden of Herabella.
VANESSA: (Pointing to Buttercup) We want to buy that cow.
JACK: (Pointing to Buttercup) That cow?
BUTTERCUP: (Pointing to self) This cow?
FAIRIES: (Pointing to Buttercup) That cow!
JACK: But why would a flock of fairies want to buy my cow?
LUCINDA: We come from a magical place filled with fabulous fruits and a vast variety of vegetables.
LUCRETIA: But, alas, we have no milk.
BUTTERCUP: (Perks up) I’m listening.
FELICIA: No feast is complete without a glass of milk.
CONTESSA: Or a dab of sweet butter...
VANESSA: Or a bowl of strawberry ice cream.
LUCINDA: So you see we simply must have a cow.
JACK: I do see. So how much are you willing to pay for my dear Buttercup?
LUCRETIA: We’ve a very special payment in mind for this beautiful bovine.
BUTTERCUP: (Flattered) You don’t say! Well this is sounding better and better!
VANESSA: We will give you a payment of six beans!
JACK & BUTTERCUP: Six beans?
LUCINDA: These are no ordinary beans.
FELICIA: These beans are magic.
CONTESSA: From the enchanted garden of Herabella.
Bits of Magic
(Fairies)
(Staccato feel)
Bits of earth and bits of beans
With bits of magic in between
Just plant these seeds and watch them grow
And soon the blessings start to flow
(Lyrical and fluid)
Flowers blooming everywhere
While roses climb the vine
Watch bits of magic grow the beans
Up to the sky they’ll climb…they’ll climb
(Skipping freely with complete abandon)
La la la la la la la la
La la la la la la
La la la la la la la la
La la la la la la
Yes, bits of earth and bits of beans
With bits of magic in between
Just plant these seeds and watch them grow
You’ll see the blessings start to flow (Harmony optional)
(Sung under the last note)
Bits of magic, bits of magic
Lovely bits of magic everywhere
JACK: So am I to understand that you’ll take my beloved cow for six magic beans?
FAIRIES: (Taking one step toward Buttercup on the word) Done.
JACK: And these magic beans are going to somehow help us pay the rent?
LUCRETIA: These beans will lead you to treasures beyond compare.
CONTESSA: To a place where wishes come true.
JACK: No kidding?
VANESSA: Let’s just say, the sky’s the limit.
LUCINDA: In a manner of speaking.
JACK: Then I guess we have a deal.
BUTTERCUP: Well Jack, I’m glad I’ll be fluttering away with these fairies when you tell your Mother you sold me for six beans—magic or not!
All exit to music. Minstrels enter in front of curtain.
NELLIE: Right then and there a deal was struck,
Six beans for a little old cow.
NILES: Those beans had better do the trick,
Cuz they need some cash right now!
NEDRA: Jack told his Mother as he trembled with fear
Afraid to face his doom.
NATALIE: He knew he was in trouble deep
When she came at him with her broom!
NEDRA: Out the window she tossed the beans
And sent Jack to his room.
NATASHA: But the next morning to their surprise
A gigantic beanstalk bloomed.
SCENE 3
SETTING: Jack’s house; a dilapidated little hovel with a large beanstalk standing center stage
AT RISE: Curtain opens with Jack and Mother standing in front of the beanstalk in front of the house.
JACK: Holy moly Mom, would you look at that? Those beans really were magic! I’ll climb this stalk, nab some treasures, and be home for supper.
MOTHER: Oh Jack, you foolish boy. This is merely some sort of large plant that we can’t afford to water! When will you put these silly notions aside?
JACK: But we'll be rich now, Mother! Our lives, thanks to those magic beans--will never be the same.
Enter Landlords from stage right.
BORIS: Hello, we’re here to kick you out of your hovel.
MR. BADWELL: (Looking at the beanstalk) WHAT in blue blazes is that?
BAXTER: It looks like a tall plant, Boss. I didn’t think we had the soil for it.
MOTHER: Hurry, Jack. Scamper up that vine so they can’t get you! (Jack moves towards beanstalk.)
MR. BADWELL: Wait just a datgum minute, boy! Where do you think you’re going? Don't you dare try to give us the slip. Get him Boris!
BORIS: Climb that flimsy thing? No can do! Bad back—sorry, Boss.
BAXTER: (Mr. Badwell looks at Baxter.) Well I never cared for heights. I get dizzy. Boss, you know how I feel about heights.
MR. BADWELL: Oh, you’re a couple of babies. (Jack climbs the stalk and disappears behind it, creating the illusion he has climbed up it.) Well, he got away! Way to go, guys. Looks like we better get some rope and what not if we’re going to climb this thing. We can’t very well give ‘em the boot if one of ‘em’s not even here. Let’s go.
Landlords exit stage right.
MOTHER: (Looks up the beanstalk) Oh, dear! I hope you're all right, Jack.
Mother moves downstage on intro to the song as curtain closes behind her. She sings.
My Boy Jack
(Mother)
(Reflective, melancholy song from a mother to her son)