Cancer Diary, Saturday March 16, 2002 Salinas California
So much has happened since my last diary entry on March 3rd. It has been difficult to find time to write even the barest of diary entry. It is Saturday night about 8pm. I have worked at Tivre all day. I will try to cover some of the events of the last 2 plus weeks.
Gayle’s Mother
In my last diary entry, I told how Gayle remained in Susanville since her Mother was gravely ill and “it was only a matter of hours” till she died. After 6 days, Juanita was feeling better and her vital signs were greatly improved. But her will to live was gone. She begged Gayle to “get down on your knees and pray that the Lord will take me”. Gayle complied with the request, but Juanita improved. On Monday, March 4th, Juanita was improved to the point that she was moved to Hospital Annex, a convalescent care unit. Gayle packed up her car and drove home to Salinas. At 2:30 am her brother called. Their mother had died at around 1am.
Gayle was distraught that she hadn’t been there and that her mother had died alone. We began to pack the car for the return trip to Susanville, this time with all my therapy supplies, food and equipment. That juicer, in itself, weighs almost 50 pounds. We were on the road by 8am, supplied with four thermoses of juices and soup plus several Tupperware bowls filled with vegetables and salads. We arrived in Susanville at around 4pm.
The next few days were very trying for everybody. Gayle and her brother had to make arrangements and deal with their grief. I tried to be helpful, accomplish some Tivre work, and keep to my therapy in unfamiliar terrain. The funeral was on Saturday and was a small, dignified, and touching service. In lieu of a poem by me, Gayle wrote a beautiful history of her mother’s life that was far more poignant and personal than I could have written. I was glad she wrote it and I encouraged her since I was in an inspirational vacuum (perhaps because of my own problems) and it was good therapy for Gayle. The music was beautiful, the service itself and the subsequent graveside ceremony were touching, and the churchwomen hosted an afternoon lunch for all attendees. I was able to absent myself long enough to have a potato and salad back at Gayle’s mother’s house.
On Sunday morning, we repacked the car and drove off into the snow covered Sierra’s for the 8-hour trip back to Salinas. Gayle has a lot of grieving to finish up. She was close to her mother in spite of there being very different personalities.
Changes at Tivre
On Friday night (the day before Juanita’s funeral), my cell phone buzzed and to my surprise, it was Prashant Gupta, the CEO of my company, and a long-time personal friend. He said he wanted to share something with me before I heard it over the grapevine. He said, “I’ve been fired”. It seems the 3-person board of directors, consisting of the venture capitalist couple, Terry and Katrina Garnett and Prashant had decided that a change was needed and Prashant was out as CEO and Katrina was in. Prashant told me when we talked on Monday that “This is a bad move made for all the wrong reasons”. Katrina held a company meeting on Tuesday at which point she gave her reasons for the change, stated that she had offered Prashant a position as Director of Sales and Marketing (which he probably won’t take) and that it would be business as usual. She hinted that the Monterey location of the company was not necessarily permanent. The Garnet’s live in Silicon Valley. My direct boss, Jim Van Riper joked, “It is no more Mr. Nice Guy”. Obviously, I have had my worries because of my health issues, relatively high salary, and age. It would be a near impossibility to get another job in the current job climate considering also my health issues. I always attributed the company’s excellent treatment of me to Prashant. I don’t know if he was my protector, but I feel more vulnerable now. In our talk on Monday, I alluded to this and he reassured me that no company, in today’s world of discrimination lawsuits, would risk firing me. I am protected, it seems, by various specific California and federal laws prohibiting discrimination based on “health status” and age. And, besides, I am really enjoying what I am doing and am doing a pretty good job in spite of the demands on my time.
Latest PSA Test
Getting onto the supposed subject of this diary (my illness), I received last week the results of my March 5th blood tests. My PSA level was down slightly from 7.4 to 7.8. This was neither discouraging nor encouraging. I have decided, however, to alter my plan that I articulated in my last diary entry. I said there that if my PSA were up, I would seek out some other professional opinions or tests. In fact, I have decided to do that even though the PSA value was slightly down.
Consultation and More Tests
Our good friend Dr. David Wardlaw (a dentist) recommended an urologist who is also a personal friend and neighbor. He is Dr. Brickley Sweet who has a large practice in Salinas. So I made an appointment for last Friday morning, and after an hour of filling out forms and some preliminary tests, I met with Dr, Sweet for about a half an hour. He is a nice, low-key doctor, I would guess in his early 60’s. I like him immediately. He had read all my records. He said two things right off that pleased me: 1) the status of my cancer is not yet a crisis (at stage T2a and Gleason score of 6) and 2) more and more he is recommending more passive treatments for prostate cancer. He added that the basic treatment, prostatectomy, “may be much more than is needed”.
Dr. Sweet politely dismissed my Gerson therapy saying that it sounded healthy but “there is no record of diet curing cancer. If it worked, we’d all be using it”. I did not argue with him nor was there any reason to.
I stated that I needed some hard evidence of my condition. He agreed. He said there is really no choice other than a needle biopsy. Ultrasound, MRI, CAT scans, x-rays, and digital examinations are not effective. So on Tuesday of next week, March 19th, at 3:45, I will have another biopsy.
Dr Sweet made a point of saying they would do a good mapping of the prostate, unlike in the prior biopsy. By this he means that the tissue extracted from the 8 needles will be kept separate so they will know from which location of the prostate the cancer tissue, if any, has come from. In the earlier biopsy the needles were grouped together simply as left and right so we knew there was cancer on the right side (in only one needle) but not exactly where in the organ.
The metrics from the earlier biopsy were:
1) Gleason Score (a measure of the aggressiveness of the cancer) 6 on a scale of 2-10
2) Involvement: 2 percent
3) Right side only
4) The cancer was barely palpable (detectable with a digital exam).
I should be able to compare the new results with each of these prior results and make a determination as to whether the cancer has progressed, regressed, or remained the same.
Last week I asked Charlotte if she could tell me anything about the pathological effects of the Gerson therapy. Would there be dead cancer cells present? What would they look like? Would healthy prostate tissue have grown? Not being a physician and certainly not a pathologist, she could not answer my question.
I am reminded of Howard’s prediction “Cancer-free in 6 months, cured in 18 months”.
The result vs. action possibilities are:
1) No cancer seen – this is the best scenario (but could also reflect a false negative because the needles just missed the tumor). In this case, I will continue the therapy with determination through February of next year (18 months) and will incorporate it into my regular life style in some way. I will also monitor my PSA, which I would expect would eventually decline.
2) Cancer reduced – Gleason score reduced, involvement less than before (2%) or results inconclusive. This is good and encouraging. I would continue the therapy as before and would watch for a reduced PSA level. I would consider a further biopsy at the 18 month mark
.
3) Cancer the same – this would be somewhat disappointing but, I suppose better than an increase which would be the normal expectation for my type of cancer. I would continue the therapy and would monitor my PSA level very closely looking for a further change (ether up or down).
4) Cancer spreading - this would be very disappointing and would suggest that the Gerson therapy isn’t working as hoped. I would actively investigate the possibilities for conventional treatment while keeping the door open for doing some sort of “buying time” therapy (e.g. hormone therapy) while keeping to the Gerson therapy.
5) Cancer spreading dangerously. I would immediately undergo conventional therapy, probably a surgical prostatectomy. My confidence in the Gerson therapy will be in question.
Charlotte’s 80th
Early next month is Charlotte Gerson’s 80th birthday. Howard is throwing a “surprise” party at her home in San Diego. We are trying to figure out if we can manage to attend.
How do I feel?
Worried. I feel well and alert and am working long hours at Tivre (big deadline). The awareness of my prostate continues and increases, but is still short of being painful. I am physically weak and tire easily with any physical activity.
Adjustments to the Gerson Therapy
I have made some small adjustment in the therapy. I have temporarily cut out the Niacin. It seems to have caused a number of aggressive nosebleeds. With a biopsy coming up and the possibility of further surgery (if the report is bad), I don’t want to be taking any substance that inhibits clotting and causes bleeding.
Last weekend, I was unable to do the castor oil therapy. Due to the demand that I work at Tivre tomorrow (Sunday), I will probably miss it again this week. I have no regrets here. It is pure heaven to avoid this dreadful procedure. I need to ask Charlotte about this.
It is time to order some new medications from Mexico.