Studentsample:Grade7,argument
Thisargumentwasproducedforanon-demandassessment.Studentswereaskedtoawritealettertotheirprincipalaboutaplantoinstallvideocamerasintheclassroomforsafetyreasons.Theabbreviatedtimeframeoftheassessment(andtheconsequentlackofopportunitytoperformresearchandrevise)explainstheabsenceofinformationfromsourcesandpossiblyalsotheoccasionalerrors.
VideoCamerasinClassrooms
Youareseatedinclassasyourteacherexplainsandpointsthingsoutonthewhiteboard.Youtwitchyourhand,accidentallynudgingyourpencil,whichrollsoffyourdeskandclatterstothefloor.As youleanovertopickupyourpencil,yourcellphonefallsoutofyourcoatpocket!Luckilyyoucatchitwithoutyourteacherseeing,butitisinplainviewofthevideocamera’sshinylensthatpointsstraightatyou.Theclassroomphonerings,andafterabriefconversation,yourteacherwalksovertoyourdeskandkneelsdownbesideyou.“Aboutthatcellphoneofyours...”Howdidthatgetyouintrouble?Howcoulditpossiblybeagoodideatoputcamerasinclassrooms?
Whenstudentsareintheirclassrooms,teachersareintheclassroomtoo,usually.Butwhenateachergoesoutoftheclassroom,whatusuallyhappensiseithereverythinggoesonasusual,orthe studentsgetalittlemoretalkative.Camerasaren’ttherebecausepeopletalkalot.Itistheteacher’sjobtokeeppeoplequiet.Ifsomethinghorriblehappened,somebodyinclasswouldusuallyreportit,oritwouldjustbeobvioustotheteacherwhenhecamebackthatsomethinghadhappened.
Ifwealreadyhavecamerasinthehalls,whyspendthemoneytogetthirtymorecamerasforallthedifferentclassrooms?Ourschooldistrictalreadyhasalowbudget,sowewouldbespendingmoneyonsomethingcompletelyunnecessary.Therehasn’tbeencamera-worthytroubleinclassrooms.Camera-worthytroublewouldbebadbehavioreverytimeateacherlefttheroom.Thereisnoreasontoinstallcamerasthatmightjustcausetrouble,bothforthestudentsandforthebudget.
Differentstudentsreactdifferentlywhenthereisacameraintheroom.Somestudentsgetnervousandflustered,tryinghardtostayfocusedontheirworkwithacamerafocusedonthem.90%ofstudentsclaimthattheydobetterworkwhentheyarecalmer,andcamerasarenotgoingtohelp.Otherstudentslookatcamerasasasourceofentertainment.Thesestudentswilldothingssuchaswaveatthe camera,makefaces,orsayhitothepeoplewatchingthroughthecamera.Thiscouldbeabigdistraction forotherswhoaretryingtolearnandparticipateinclass.Stillotherstudentswilltrytotrickthecamera.Theywillfindawaytoblockthelensordosomethingthatthecamerawillnotbelikelytocatch.Allofthesedifferentstudentswillbedistractedbythecamerasintheirclassrooms.
Insteadofsolvingproblems,cameraswouldcausetheproblems.ThatiswhyIdisagreewiththeideatoputcamerasinclassrooms.Thisplanshouldnotbeputtoaction.
Annotation
Thewriterofthispiece
- introducesaclaim(statedlateintheessay).
- Idisagreewiththeideatoputcamerasinclassrooms.Thisplanshouldnotbeputtoaction.
- acknowledgesalternateoropposingclaims.
- Insteadofsolvingproblems,cameraswouldcausetheproblems.
- supportstheclaimwithlogicalreasoningandrelevant evidence,demonstratinganunderstandingofthetopic.
- [Camerasarenotnecessarybecause][i]fsomethinghorriblehappened,somebodyinclasswouldusuallyreportit,oritwouldjustbeobvioustotheteacherwhenhecamebackthatsomethinghadhappened.
- wealreadyhavecamerasinthehalls...