Defining Friendship - Page - 1 –
Defining Friendship - Page - 1 –
Objective:
To assess some of the defining qualities of friendship based upon various scripture references.
(Proverbs 17:9) He that covereth a transgression seeketh love; but he that repeateth a matter separateth very friends.
(Galatians 6:2) Bear ye one another's burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ.
friend (frµnd) n. 1. A person whom one knows, likes, and trusts. 2. A person whom one knows; an acquaintance. 3. A person with whom one is allied in a struggle or cause; a comrade. 4. One who supports, sympathizes with, or patronizes a group, cause, or movement: friends of the clean air movement. 5.Friend. A member of the Society of Friends; a Quaker. --friend tr.v. friend·ed, friend·ing, friends. Archaic. To befriend. [Middle English, from Old English fr¶ond.] --friend“less adj.--friend“less·ness n.
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(from the American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language, Third Edition)
What is a friend? Someone described a friend as “somebody who knows all about you and loves you anyway.” Another described a friend as “the one who steps in when the whole world steps out.” Friendship could be defined as an active concept. Friendship is clearly defined more in terms of what a friend does than by what a friend is. It is not as if we’re saying, “You’re not my friend unless you do such and such.” But, “Because you have exhibited certain qualities such as kindness, sympathy, and interest in me, I believe that you are my friend.” Consider what the Bible says to be the foundational quality of friendship: (Proverbs 18:24) A man that hath friends must show himself friendly...
As we look into God’s Word, let’s consider some other defining qualities and ways that friendship is expressed.
1. “Friendship Involves A Communication”
Exodus 33:11
(In Friendship, Our Speech Is Knit Together)
(Exodus 33:11) And the LORD spake unto Moses face to face,
as a man speaketh unto his friend...
A. Notice The Transparency In Their Conversation
“The LORD spake unto Moses face to face.” There was no hypocrisy or pretense in this conversation. Moses could not have put up a facade before the all-knowing God, and God too was expressing Himself to Moses in very real, sincere terms.
B. Notice The Topic In Their Conversation
In the verses that follow, Moses is talking to God about the concerns that are upon his heart. We might note the trust in their conversation and the fact that Moses had no fears about God betraying this confidence. (See Proverbs 17:9) In previous and further conversations, the Lord expresses His concerns to Moses in very candid, honest terms. Thank God for friends that we can talk to about the burdens upon our hearts.
One thing that will not bring a smile to the face of your friend is calling him/her early in the morning and talking loudly...
(Proverbs 27:14) He that blesseth his friend with a loud voice, rising early in the morning, it shall be counted a curse to him.
2. “Friendship Involves A Commonality”
Deuteronomy 13:6-8
(In Friendship, Our Souls Are Knit Together)
(Deuteronomy 13:6-8) If thy brother, the son of thy mother, or thy son, or thy daughter, or the wife of thy bosom, or thy friend, which is as thine own soul, entice thee secretly, saying, Let us go and serve other gods, which thou hast not known, thou, nor thy fathers; {7} Namely, of the gods of the people which are round about you, nigh unto thee, or far off from thee, from the one end of the earth even unto the other end of the earth; {8} Thou shalt not consent unto him, nor hearken unto him; neither shall thine eye pity him, neither shalt thou spare, neither shalt thou conceal him:
A. There Is A Close Intimacy
Anne of Green Gables spoke of having a “bosom friend.” We might say that we sense a kindred spirit with someone. It can be based upon common interests, common backgrounds, or common aspirations; but the close friend mentioned in Deuteronomy 13:6 “is as thine own soul.” There is some similarity or commonality that has brought us together.
B. There Is A Caution Included
Just as similarities bring friends together, often dissimilarities separate friends. Our text here cautions about that one, be they family or friend, who would draw us away from the true and the living God. The Bible says that if a friend, regardless of how close they are, tries to do that, “Thou shalt not consent unto him, nor hearken unto him.”
3. “Friendship Involves A Complementing”
Proverbs 27:17, Ecclesiastes 4:9-10
(In Friendship, Our Strengths Are Knit Together)
By “complementing” is not meant flattery, though that doesn’t hurt in a friendship, but by “complementing” is meant the idea of completing, making up the whole, or bringing to perfection. This can involve...
A. Bringing A Smile To My Friend’s Face
(Proverbs 27:17) Iron sharpeneth iron;
so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend.
Just as rubbing it against another piece of metal sharpens the axe, the positive and supportive fellowship of a friend amplifies and sharpens a positive expression. A kind friend aids a joyful countenance.
B. Bringing A Strength To My Friend’s Fall
(Ecclesiastes 4:9-10) Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour. {10} For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up.
So important is this principle of a friend’s assistance that Paul reiterated it in the New Testament. (Galatians 6:1) Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, ye which are spiritual, restore such an one in the spirit of meekness; considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted. Let us move out of our own comfort zone so that we may assist those who are experiencing discomfort, distress, and discouragement. Why? Because...
A man that hath friends must show himself friendly (Proverbs 18:24).
It has been said that friendship between two persons depends upon the patience of one. As you reflect upon your friendships, does it require greater patience on the part of others? True friendship shares this responsibility and forgets when patience was exercised on behalf of others but keeps a steady check on how often others need to display their patience.
* Bits & Pieces, March 30, 1995.
4. “Friendship Involves A Compassion”
Proverbs 17:17
(In Friendship, Our Sympathies Are Knit Together)
(Proverbs 17:17) A friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.
A. Notice The Principle Of A Friend’s Compassion
The word used here for “loveth” is a word that means, “to have affection for.” It is used to express the love of a husband for his wife, the love of a father for his son, and here it expresses the love of a friend.
B. Notice The Perpetuity Of A Friend’s Compassion
Solomon is not describing a fair weather friend. Rather, he says, “A friend loveth at all times.” A true friend loves us when we are going through good times and bad times. It is a perpetual love that is not based upon circumstances.
Note:
In the other verses we have considered regarding friendship, comparisons have been used to describe different facets of friendship.
(Exodus 33:11) And the LORD spake unto Moses face to face,
as(like) a man speaketh unto his friend...
(Deuteronomy 13:6) ...thy friend, which is as (like) thine own soul...
(Proverbs 27:17) Iron sharpeneth iron;
so(like) a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend.
These aspects of friendship are said to be “like” something, however the verse that we have used to deal with the compassion of a friend simply says, “A friend loveth at all times.” There is no point of comparison used here, perhaps because there is nothing like the love of a friend.
Let’s mention again Proverbs 18:24. It says, “A man that hath friends must show himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.” This “friend that sticketh closer than a brother” has often been associated with our dearest friend – Jesus Christ. We can be confident that this friend loves us at all times, and His love surpasses all others. Truly, He is “our best friend.”
There’s not a friend like the lowly Jesus
No, not one. No, not one.
None else can heal all our soul’s diseases.
No, not one. No, not one.
Jesus knows all about our struggles.
He will guide till the day is done.
There’s not a friend like the lowly Jesus
No, not one. No, not one.
Defining Friendship - Page - 1 –