“Journey to Infinity” dance 13
Don’tbe afraidof death. Atdeathdiesonlythe idea ofdeath. You cannot take away oradd anything to that what you are. Just eternal, infinite being.
Death is the end of all you thought to possess. You thought that this and that belongs to you. If not material, then at least this or that character trait. Or at least vibration of the soul. Or soul at all. But none of it remains. Diesowner of the car, house or garden, children and family, body and feelings, mind and soul. Diesowner of experience, owner of history. The end. That’s all. And then appears something like zero point. And in this zero point is freedom. In this freedom you contemplate that what is. Then happens that what happens. And all that happens isgood as it is. This is the ultimate clarity that nothing belongs to you. This is freedom.
All you come across is mortal. All you have or experience is mortal. All you want to keep is fleeting. All you have achieved, you will lose. Including the idea aboutyourself. "Self" idea. In the face of mortalitydisappears all that is mine. Disappears the owner. And yet, you are still completely that what you are. And you are still completely here.
That what is prior to the owner is you. You exist prior to the idea of the owner and frailty. That what you are is not affected by that what is fleeting. It is not affected by the idea that you have owned something and now you can lose it. This is a pure idea. In fact, you are always free.
In reality you're always in "now" where is no personal history. It means that there is also no one who was born and can die. At the latest - death gives you this knowledge, that’s why it liberates. Everything loses its weight. There is nothing else to carry. There is no one anymore who could carry something. I mean, let die that what can die and see what you are. If there is a tombstone before your eyes, what however is fully present? When your name is already buried, when the shape, the body, when all ideas are buried, then what? Now what? Can it be that all you see is already dead? Because all you experience dies at the same moment it was born. All that comes and goes is dead. The only thing that is life is you.
Emptiness means the absence of "Self". And nevertheless something is fully present in this emptiness. You are that, and your relatives are that what is just the same totally present in the emptiness. Emptiness means the absence of something else besides that what you are. You're here, indescribable, indefinable, incomprehensible. And yet, absolutely here in this emptiness. And emptiness cannot affect you. Death is just circumstances. It cannot touch, cannot influence, cannot change that what you and your relatives are.
That what believes it can die is afraid. There is a survival impulse behind it. There is nothing wrong in it. But at the moment of death, when nothing is struggling anymore, only clarity remains. Then there is no more struggle and fear. Then there's just the absence of form and ideas. Then everything is clear. Until that there are all possibilities of struggle, fear and resistance. But when the last, the final is here, then there is no one anymore who could fight. Then there is only emptiness, awarenessof which is present now and seems to be hidden. Then it empties itself from desires, ideas and concepts. It is empty, but in this emptiness is an absolute being. Absolutely clear. Absolutely pure.
What lives at all? Can life be that what is mortal, what is subjected to death? Is form a life? Or is form just a reflection? All that can dieis already dead before. It has never lived, and therefore it cannot die. At themoment of death there is nothing that could die. That what you are is a pure being. It's here and now, the only thing that is. And at the moment of death it is also the only thing that is. Even if you say: "It's not me" - it doesn’t change anything. It doesn’t diminish you. However, youare completely that what you are. You are that whatdoesn’t require proofs. "Self"always needssome proof. It tries to support the question of meaning by all means. Without the question of meaning it would completely exhaust itself. Andeventually, itexhaustsitself, deathmakesitsenseless.
In death all questions "Why?", "Because of what?" and "How can it be?" disappear in one moment. In the face of this emptiness and the absence of time, questions become excessive. "Self" becomes excessive. Death is the best adviser in your life, because it puts you face to face with your frailty. At least with the frailty of body, spirit and soul. It means the end of all you think of yourself. In the face of death you will put your concept into question. Conceptof what you think of yourself. I advise you to put this conceptintoquestionnow.
If death cannot touch you, what dies then? Was that what you are born? The ideas of birth and death are just fleeting thoughts in the world of your experience. You are that what is eternally not affected, what never came and will never go. All that comes and goes is only a fleeting shadow of it.
This is all there is. And this is being. Being of infinity, being of bodies, being of the universe.We can look at the nature of an open secret together. It is a secret as long as there is someone who is seekingfor it. It is open. Because this is all there is. All there is is being. And being is nothing and everything. And there is nothing else. In all there isarises the idea of being separate. Itis being which seems to be a separate essence, dreaming that it is a separate individual. And then the dreamer is created. And the function of dreamer is only to dream, being in separation as an individual. And when it happens, there arises a feeling of discomfort, a feeling of loss. So from the moment of separation in early childhood seeking begins. The clock starts ticking, and seeking starts. And this seeking is a desire to fill this feeling of loss.
All teachings of becoming teach that you are a separate individual and you have a choice. And you have to make efforts to achieve something. And this whole system of beliefs strengthens the power of dream andfeeling of being separate. It’s just a dream. It’s astory. It is an apparent story of being, which seeks for being. But perhaps, when there is a readiness and it is no one’s readiness, then something else will be heard, something absolutely revolutionary. And it will be heard that there exists awakening from the dream. But it is not the dreamer awakening from the dream. There suddenly will be no more dreamer and seeker. And this is awakening. There happens a fundamental shift of perception. But there is no one who could make it happen. And this awakening will happen. Not with someone. No one can do this for you. And you cannot do this too. Because youare the seeker, you can function only in a moving story about search and anticipation. It will be next time, it will be after the next meditation. The answers may be on the next page. Dreamer always lives in anticipation. Clock is always ticking. Liberation brings with it awareness that there are no clocks, no dreamer, no seeker, no guru, no awakening or liberation. All there is is being. So, perhaps, together we will find out that questions will appear. And in a sense, there will be no answers, because there is no any answer.
The answer to life is that there is no any answer. So the mind will certainly continue to fight and try to find something that it could do and choose. And maybe to find out that it is impossiblehere. There is an argument that the questioning continues to restore itself through dialogues. But here it is not necessary for it to happen. The mind finds out here that there is no place to go and gives up.
Life is what apparentlyhappens. It just happens in nothing. It is an absolutely fundamental shift which is so simple that it completelyconfuses the mind. It is just lifeness, and meanwhile there is no one who lives.
There is a dissatisfaction. And then there can appear the idea that it is absolutely normal. In this sense both are that what is. But the difficulty is that then mind adds the idea that it is absolutely normal for it. And this is the beginning of thewhole process of this story about an individual who is moving to some place called "to be normal." And it turns out that you still have a policeman inside. There is still something inside that deals with what is happening or tries to do that. There's nothing you can do with it. It is what it is.
This feeling of anxiety, where does it come from? From nowhere. Does it mean something? In fact, the question "Does it mean something?" – is the same as to realize it or feeling that it is normal. We’ll solve it. I need to understand it, analyze it. And then I'll be able to solve it. Dissatisfaction cannot just exist. This all is just what happens. Fear, adrenaline, a cup of tea. Adrenalin calms again, the cigarette. Once the mind is enabled, there instantly appears a tool. Analysis and answers to question how to solve it. There arises fear. In fact, it arises in no time. But then mind captures it again and the clock starts ticking. And now wehave to do something with it. Some story starts. And that's already another story. There are millions of little stories about how to manage with whatis happening. There is no any possibility. Just let it be what it is. And, finally, the seeker usually seeks for a better situation. And if it is a pure pleasure, there is something behind it that says: "How can we keep it?". Because somewhere it is realized that the pleasure is fleeting. But can it be eternal? Or is it here? It is beautiful. But somehow I know that it will passsoon. In separation there is some function always interfering in all. Until your life is lost, you will always interfere in it.
In liberation thinking happens, but it is much less. It still happens and it is just one more semblance, happening to no one. In a free falling. No one pretends to it. There is nothing anymore that would calculate everything. This is this. And that is that. This is only what it is. This is all there is. It is impossibleto talk about it. It cannot be understood. Answeringa question, I tell you what it is like. This is a description of what is being. Thinking is just thinking. However, describing it, you apparently use some words. But in reality there is no story about it. As there is nothing that would perceive. In other words, there is no more judge inside who would try to determine the value of some particular thought.
Fragments of talks with infinity with itself about itself through Tony Parsons, Karl Renz, Andrey Depero were used in the program.
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The program was created by Andrey Depero. Translated and read by Alena Li.