NGH 2006 – Using Hypnosis to Control Road Rage

Session 1

The Handout before the First Session

Introduction to Road Rage

After Session 1, the participants will:

  1. Be familiar with the hand out prior to the first visit
  2. Know that people in various different circumstances express extreme anger.
  3. Know the characteristics of the Road idiot and the road rager.
  4. Have a better understanding of what anger is.
  5. Understand various ways that people express anger.
  6. Understand why some people are angrier than others.
  7. Know some strategies to control of anger and hostility.
  8. Know the nature of anger.
  9. Be familiar with Road Rage Inventory Scale and the Clinical Anger Scale.

ROAD RAGE

How to Cope with the Stress of Driving

A Multi-disciplined Approach

Please read before the first office visit and complete The Road Rage and Anger Inventory Scale. Bring it to the office for the first visit.

Introduction to Controlling Road Rage

There is so much anger in our society today and it seems to be the major reason why we find that road rage is so prevalent today.

Vern Kellejian Ph. D. (2003) wrote:

Although anger is a natural emotion, many experts have begun to wonder whether society isn't now boiling over with rage. The social expression of anger has increased many-fold in the last few years. In the US alone, airplane rage incidents have increased from 1000 to 5000 in the last three years. Road rage has left over 12,000 people injured in the last five years. Workplace violence - virtually unheard of until the 1970s - now costs business about $36 billion every year. Certain sports events are so dangerous that they must be cancelled. Last month an ice-hockey referee was beaten to death at a school sports event. The abuse of millions of women, children and seniors is also on the rise. All of these events indicate that something serious is happening.

If you own a car and have been on a highway, then you’ve been exposed to it. The cause of road rage is quite simple. There are too many cars on highways that are not adequate to handle the current volume of traffic. Under these conditions, people become frustrated because they can’t get to where they want to go as fast as they want to get there. These conditions are such that they breed two characters that now inhabit our roads, the road idiot and the road rager. These two characters are capable of bringing out the worst in the best of us. First, let’s look at the behavior of road idiot:

  • The person who weaves in and out of traffic at high speed changing from one lane to the other.
  • The slow poke in the fast lane that refuses to move over, creating a dangerous situation as people attempt to pass.
  • The person who is late for work, or an appointment and gets frustrated with what they deem as slow moving traffic and take reckless chances.
  • The person who drives behind you at night and keeps on his high beams.
  • The person who cuts into your lane without signaling and without looking to see if there is enough room.
  • The person driving under the speed limit on a two-lane highway with no place to pass and you’re on a tight time schedule.
  • The people who won’t let you pass. When you increase your speed to pass them, they increase their speed to impede your ability to pass. This is particularly frustrating when you’re on a two-lane highway and there are only a few places where you can pass.
  • The person who is driving next to you at 75 miles per hour and has a newspaper or a magazine on his steering wheel and is reading while driving.
  • The woman who, while driving along, uses the back up mirror to put on her makeup and style her hair.
  • The person who is on a cellular phone, holding it with one hand and keeps taking his other hand off the wheel making gestures.
  • The driver who has a car full of people and when he is talking he finds it necessary to make eye contact with the people in the back seat. His eyes seem to be focused everywhere except on the road.
  • This person is most difficult to spot because there are no outward manifestations of their behavior. This is the person who is distracted from their major task behind the wheel, i.e., driving: because their mind is involved with such thoughts or ruminating about past business or social events or planning what they have to do when they get to where they are going.
  • The person who finds the road idiot’s behavior so unacceptable that he reacts to it with road rage and then these two become a danger to everyone else on the road.

Now the next person I want to look at is the road rager. This is the person we can all become until we change the way we view and react to the road idiot. I would like to recommend that whenever you are driving your car you must believe that you are in a sea of insanity and you are the only sane one there. Also maneuvering in this sea of insanity will take both your physical and mental skill if you are to survive. Physical skill to be able to be in control of your car and mental skill in order to be in control of yourself! Both are equally important and are interrelated.

What creates road rage and ultimately makes you a road idiot is not the idiot but its how you choose to react to the idiot. That’s right, how you choose to react to the idiot. If you react with rage and anger then you also become a road idiot. However, if you choose to look at the particular incident when it occurs without bringing in your thoughts and emotions which will influence how you behave and see it for what is really is, i.e. a road idiot who is out of control and really does not see how his idiotic behavior is a danger on the road. If you follow this approach you will eventually develop the skill to recognize the road idiots for what they are and not get sucked into raging.

If you are now a road rager or a road idiot you know you must change. Change is not easy. However, it is possible and that’s what’s so great about being a human homo-sapiens. If you’re a cat, giraffe, or rooster your behavior is unchangeable. When you initiate change be patient and keep in mind that the changes you wish to make take time, effort and commitment on your part to acquire. If you’re a road rager, then you must change the way to react to the road idiot. Having the idiot on the road is bad enough. However, when you react to the idiot with rage then there are two idiots on the road.

Remember that you can’t control the way the other person drives. When the idiot does something that annoys you let them – and let the incident go. Don’t let your ego get involved with such rage creating thoughts as, “that son of a bitch” can’t do that to me. I’ll show him.” Instead, laugh at his stupid idiotic behavior and let it go – that’s right let it go – if you don’t let it go he’s going to control you through you for the rest of the commute or possibly even after the commute. See it as it really is. Because after the idiotic incident is over – it’s over – unless you perpetuate the incident in your mind – then it’s not over and it will fester in your mind until your rage makes you a road idiot. One road idiot is enough you don’t need another. One road idiot is dangerous – two is disastrous and you don’t want to be part of that behavior. Further, if you do catch up to the idiot and vent your rage, it’s not going to change his overall behavior and you might kill yourself and others in the process. Also you really don’t know how mentally stable the idiot might be or how unstable the road rage has made you!

To sum up here are some rules to keep in mind as you maneuver on the sea or insanity.

  • If you’re getting stressed and tense, use you’re calm, peaceful, tranquil, and relaxed active relaxation cue. (To be learned in the first hypnotic session.)
  • When observing the behavior or a road idiot laugh at it. The laughter will act as a catalyst and an interruption device to help you to avoid raging.
  • When observing the behavior or a road idiot be sure that you see things as they really are and don’t color what you see with your thoughts and emotion. If you do they could influence your behavior negatively.
  • You’ll have ample opportunity to see things as they really are as you drive. This will be a great help in teaching you how not to react with rage toward the roadidiot.
  • Remember you only have control over the way you drive your car. Therefore, when you’re behind the wheel give driving your complete attention and avoid any distraction from the task, even a small distraction could be fatal.
  • If a road idiot wants to pass you, let them. Don’t allow your ego to open the insanity door so that your rage creates another road idiot.
  • Don’t allow your thoughts to draw your mind away from giving your driving your complete attention. This is not a time for communicating and planning. It’s a time for driving only.

Whenever you embark on a journey through the sea of insanity you will find that you will have ample opportunity to practice these new driving behaviors. Because these new behaviors could prove to be life saving and the life you save might be your own.

Anger

We live in a very angry society. There are forces our society that are constantly bombarding our psyche and keeping us in a state of anger, e.g., the news papers, talk shows, internet blogs, politicians, etc. The person who has a road rage problem probably has a problem with anger in other parts of his like.

We all know what anger is, and we've all felt it: whether as a fleeting annoyance or as full-fledged rage. Anger is a completely normal, usually healthy, human emotion. But when it gets out of control and turns destructive, it can lead to problems—problems at work, in your personal relationships, the overall quality of your life, and especially your behavior when your driving you car. When anger comes when you’re behind the wheel you may feel that you are being controlled by a hidden unpredictable emotion that influences your driving behavior.

What is Anger?
Anger is "an emotional state that varies in intensity from mild irritation to intense fury and rage," according to Charles Spielberger, PhD, a psychologist who specializes in the study of anger. Like other emotions, it is accompanied by physiological and biological changes;when you get angry, your heart rate and blood pressure go up, as do the levels of your energy hormones, adrenaline, and noradrenalin. Anger can be caused by both external and internal events. You could be angry at a specific person (such as a road idiot) or event (a traffic jam) or your anger could be caused by worrying or brooding about your personal problems. Memories of traumatic or enraging events can also trigger angry feelings and this could be occurring while you are driving
Expressing Anger
The instinctive, natural way to express anger is to respond aggressively. Anger is a natural, adaptive response to threats; it inspires powerful,often aggressive, feelings and behaviors, which allow us to fight and to defend ourselves when we are attacked. A certain amount of anger,therefore, is necessary to our survival. On the other hand, we can't physically lash out at every person or object that irritates or annoys us; laws, social norms, and common sense place limits on how far our anger can take us. People use a variety of both conscious and unconscious processes to deal with their angry feelings. The three main approaches are as follows:
  1. Suppressing, and calming. Expressing your angry feelings in an assertive—not aggressive—manner is the healthiest way to express anger. To do this, you have to learn how to make clear what your needs are, and how to get them met, without hurting others. Being assertive doesn't mean being pushy or demanding; it means being respectful of yourself and others.
  2. Anger can be suppressed, and then converted or redirected. This happens when you hold in your anger, stop thinking about it, and focus on something positive. The aim is to inhibit or suppress your anger and convert it into more constructive behavior. The danger in this type of response is that if it isn't allowed outward expression, your anger can turn inward—on yourself. Anger turned inward may cause hypertension, high blood pressure, or depression. Unexpressed anger can create other problems. It can lead to pathological expressions of anger, such as passive-aggressive behavior (gettingback at people indirectly, without telling them why, rather than confronting them head-on) or a personality that seems perpetually cynical and hostile. People who are constantly putting others down, criticizing everything, and making cynical comments haven't learned how toconstructively express their anger. Not surprisingly, they aren't likely to have many successful relationships.
  3. Finally, you can calm down inside. This means not just controlling your outward behavior, but also controlling your internal responses, taking steps to lower your heart rate, calm yourself down, and let the feelings subside. As Dr. Spielberger notes, "when none of these three techniques work, that's when someone—or something—is going to get hurt."
Anger Management
The goal of anger management is to reduce both your emotional feelings and the physiological arousal that anger causes. You can't get rid of, or avoid, the things or the people that enrage you, nor can you change them.However, you can learn how to control your reactions.
Are You Too Angry?
There are psychological tests that measure the intensity of angry feelings, how prone to anger you are, and how well you handle it. But chances are good that if you do have a problem with anger, you already know it. If you find yourself acting in ways that seem out of control andfrightening, especially when you’re on the highway, you may need help in finding a better ways to deal with this emotion.
Why are Some People are Angrier Than Others?
According to Jerry Deffenbacher, PhD, a psychologist who specializes in anger management, some people really are more "hotheaded" than others are; they get angry more easily and more intensely than the average person does. There are also those who don't show their anger in loud spectacular ways but are chronically irritable and grumpy. Easily angered people don't always curse and throw things; sometimes they withdraw socially, sulk, or get physically ill.
People who are easily angered generally have what some psychologists call a low tolerance for frustration, meaning simply that they feel thatthey should not have to be subjected to frustration, inconvenience, or annoyance. They can't take things in stride, and they're particularlyinfuriated if the situation seems somehowunjust: for example, being angered by the way people are driving.
What makes these people this way? A number of things. One cause may be genetic or physiological: There is evidence that some childrenare born irritable, touchy, and easily angered, and that these signs are present from a very early age. Another may be sociocultural. Anger is often regarded as negative; we're taught that it's all right to express anxiety, depression, or other emotions but not to express anger. As a result, we don't learn how to handle it or channel it constructively. Research has also found that family background plays a role. Typically, people who are easily angered come from families that are disruptive, chaotic, and not skilled at emotional communications.
Is It Good To "Let it All Hang Out?"
Psychologists now say that this is a dangerous myth. Some people use this theory as a license to hurt others. Research has found that “letting it rip" with anger actually escalates anger and aggression and does nothing to help you (or the person you're angry with) resolve the situation. Unfortunately this is not possible in a driving situation. It's best to find out what it is that triggers your anger, and then to develop strategies to keep those triggers from tipping you over the edge in to road rage.
Strategies To Keep Anger At Bay
Relaxation
During your first visit you will learn several hypnotic relaxation techniques.
Cognitive Restructuring