Rituals for the New Year

Watch Night Party

and

Happy New Year (soon), friends!

Some of the most treasured memories of my youth are of New Year’s Eve parties in the “Kiva.” Our United Methodist Youth Fellowship had transformed the basement of the former EUB church into the coolest–and I mean cool–hang out place with space for games, dancing, conversation and food. A lot of fun was had there but also a lot of wonderful spiritual growing together. I’ve always believed that fun and play are spiritual pursuits and lead to the kind of community that easily welcomes deeply meaningful moments that shape and form us. So it’s no surprise to me that opening my home to friends and creating playful and meaningful experiences has stuck with me my entire life. Even when I lived in a tiny apartment in New York City we’d cram 50 people into it for my favorite night of the year–New Year’s Eve.

When I went to seminary in Kansas City, I continued this tradition. But since I had more room in my house, the rituals began to multiply into a smorgasbord of activities that guests could do in their own time. Every room had a different purpose. Some people would hang in one space for the whole evening, only coming out for the midnight community ritual and others would move from room to room, encountering as many things as possible.

My passion for New Year’s Eve has to do with my strong belief that we need rituals to help us navigate the passages of our lives. There are “thresholds” that happen in people’s lives–baptisms, graduations, marriages, etc. We find ways to mark these and each happens at various times for various people. And within the Christian community, Holy Week and Easter is one of the most sacred moments for us to mark the celebration of life over death. But the concept of the passage of time is never more poignantly or communally felt, I believe, than when the clock strikes midnight on New Year’s Eve.

So I am sharing this idea with you in hopes that you will be inspired to create your own gathering. Whether it is in a house or a part of the church, may you find both fun and meaning as we cross the threshold of time.

The Ingredients (mix and match, make up your own, tweak these, let your imagination go!)

The Ugly Candle Sculpture Room: The only thing I ask guests to bring (unless it is a potluck) is a candle. In one room I place a wooden trough (piece of plywood with edges) about 3’ X 3’. I line it with aluminum foil (for maximum light reflection). This was the base of the “Ugly Candle Sculpture.” I start it ahead of time with old candles from the year and begin to drip wax. As people come with their candles, they have fun burning them, dripping wax, creating wax puddles and stalagmites and creating a towering sculpture with candles. More than once we’ve had people coating theirs hands in wax, peeling it and placing the wax hands on the sculpture. Let me tell you, the people who are into wax and fire can do this for hours!

The Collage Room: You know those year-end magazines with “the year in pictures?” I buy several of these and lay them out in a room with other magazines and newspapers from the year. I plaster the walls of this room with newsprint and let people go crazy making a collage of the year. Scissors, glue stick, markers, ribbon, odd and ends, all provide the means.

“Take It or Leave It” Room: If you can make one room quiet with meditative music (this is sometimes hard to do if you have jammin’ music going in the whole house), I create a place where people can take a moment to let go of anything they just don’t want to take with them into the New Year. There is this GREAT stuff called “dissolving paper” that you can order from I cut it into smaller pieces and people write on it then drop it into a big punch bowl of water, stir it around and watch it disappear. In the same room I have other sheets of beautiful paper that I have decorated that people can sit and journal their hopes and dreams on and take with them.

Life is a Game Room: One room is dedicated to board games and card games. I like to offer a combination of games that don’t take too long (my favorite is Taboo or Pit) and those that die-hard game players can sink their teeth into (Monopoly, anyone?).

Puzzling Things Room: The dining room table usually has a 250 or 500 piece puzzle going (one that can actually get done in a few hours). There are always people who will make this their one spot for the entire night and work feverishly to get it accomplished by midnight!

Kitchen Dwellers: Then, of course, there are those who will just hang in the kitchen and eat and talk and eat and talk and eat… well, you get the idea. Actually, conversation areas throughout the house are a must. Some people just don’t get into the activities and would rather just “hang!”

(Now, if you do this in a larger space like the church, you can add a lot more with the added space… what about a labyrinth just made out of masking tape on the fellowship hall floor? Or folk-dancing lessons in the sanctuary… this is an historical medieval practice! Or a jam session singing old favorites in the choir room?)

Go to the next page for what happens at midnight…

The Threshold (these are just suggestions… the nature and feel of the rituals will depend on you and on the community gathered. Sometimes the mood can grow serious and reflective, sometimes it stays light and yet meaningful. It’s all good!)

11:30Gathering: I usually begin to round people up around this time because inevitably a game will need to be finished, and people need to put finishing touches on activities. Then I ask people to bring various things to the to the common gathering space:

• the candle sculpture (carefully and still lit!)

• the bowl of water (this goes outside to the drum circle)

• their journal pages of hopes and dreams

• the collages from the wall

• a few pieces of the puzzle (especially if it’s not finished)

• some game pieces

11:50 Drum Circle: I usually like to do this outside unless it is just way too cold. I have percussion instruments for everyone (some real drums and wood blocks and rattles and a lot homemade!). I’ve learned that about 10 minutes is enough drumming (unless you have real drummers then they can start earlier) so at about 11:45 we go outside, I hand out the instruments and we begin a rhythm. The bowl of water that people have dissolved the things they want to leave behind is poured into the ground and then I might lead some songs (global alleluia’s are great). Then just before midnight, of course, we all shout with the rhythm, counting down from 10 and then let all *%@*#!! break loose (in my youth we also rang the church bells!)

12:05 Ritual of the New Year: When the revelry dies down, we go back into the common room to do a little ritual of welcoming in the New Year. I usually just improvise most of this ritual. The idea is to take all of The Ingredients and bring brief moments of communal reflection (for those of you who have been in my workshops… this is some major “Metaphoraging!”). Some ideas:

Candle Sculpture: Where would you like to bring light and build hope in this new year?

Wall Collage: For what/whom do we pray in this new year? what “hopeful headlines”

do you wish to see making news this year?

Puzzle Pieces: give thanks for the people who make up the pieces of your life “picture.”

Take a moment to ponder what or who is missing (perhaps stopping to remember those who passed on this year) or how you could become a piece of someone’s life that needs you this year.

Game Pieces: affirm that life is not about winners and losers (some may disagree!) but

the joy of being together on the road. Make a promise to laugh more, play

more, love more, live more joy.

Journal Pages: Invite people to hold their journal writings of hopes and dreams for the

new year as a final poem is read and/or prayer prayed. The poem on the

next page is one from a favorite poet of mine:

“It Takes Time”

By Noel Davis from Heart Gone Walkabout

It takes time (The people repeat each time: “It takes time”)…

… to knead a lump of clay, to gather all the parts together, working it back

and forth, making it ready to be changed.