Marriage, Divorce and Remarriage
By Perry Demopoulos
Note: All quotations of the Bible are from the Authorized Version of the King James Bible (1611) translated in the Russian tongue (first edition).
One of the most difficult things Christians have to deal with these last days is divorce. And to make things worse there is so much misunderstanding as to what the Bible says about marriage, divorce and remarriage. All too often you hear about a husband or a wife leaving his or her spouse. Unfortunately, laws in many countries are making it easier for people to divorce, especially where the laws favor the woman; “cruelty,” “physical cruelty,” or “mental cruelty,” “insanity, “incompatibility,” or even impotence. The way things are going these days, you wonder, what’s next? Most of the courts today favor the woman. Manhood, even in the laws of jurisprudence are well nigh gone concerning the matters of divorce.
There are a few things that are clear concerning grounds for divorce in the Bible. Of course death is one ground according to 1 Corinthians 7:39 “The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord.”
The apostle Paul had written in various places in his epistles concerning marriage, divorce and remarriage. He also referred to the law of the Old Testament (Rom. 7:1-3). He was not a Hyper-Dispensationalist. Paul reminded those in Romans 7:1 “Know ye not, brethren, (for I speak to them THAT KNOW THE LAW,) how that the law hath dominion over a man as long as he liveth?” When Paul spoke of marriage, divorce and remarriage, he was talking about Deuteronomy 24:1-3 just as the Lord did when the Pharisees in Matthew 19:3 were referring to the very same passage in the Old Testament to tempt Jesus. So the Christian should know what the law says and how the Lord dealt with it. In Deuteronomy 24:1-3 a man could send his wife out of his house simply because “she [found] no favour in his eyes because he hath found some uncleanness in her” (v. 1). Now let’s get the whole passage -
“When a man hath taken a wife, and married her, and it come to pass that she find no favour in his eyes, because he hath found some uncleanness in her: then let him write her a bill of divorcement, and give it in her hand, and send her out of his house.
And when she is departed out of his house, she may go and be another man's wife.
And if the latter husband hate her, and write her a bill of divorcement, and giveth it in her hand, and sendeth her out of his house; or if the latter husband die, which took her to be his wife;”
Even if the second husband simply “hate her” (v. 3) that second husband could send her out of his house.
Now notice something very carefully here. Notice the Bible takes it for granted that it is “his house” which is mentioned in all three verses. There are such circumstances today where the husband is living in her apartment or her home. No matter what, the man, according to the Bible is the head of the home “But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.” (1 Cor. 11:3).
In the gospel of Matthew the Lord was approached by the Pharisees concerning this matter of marriage, divorce and remarriage, “The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause?” (Matt. 19:3).
The words “every cause” (Matt. 19:3) had to do with what Moses wrote in Deuteronomy 24:1 “some uncleanness.” Jesus Christ made it very clear that there was now, only one reason for divorce in the context of Matthew 19. Instead of “some uncleanness” (Deut. 24:1) in other words, for any reason, the only grounds would be “fornication” (Matt. 19:9) with a remarriage right in the very context “and shall marry another.” Read it very carefully! “And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, EXCEPT IT BE FOR FORNICATION, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery” (Matt. 19:9).
According to the Holy Bible, and not some dictionary like Webster’s, “fornication” is the physical act according to Paul, “Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication SINNETH AGAINST HIS OWN BODY.” (1 Cor. 6:18). Adultery can be committed WITHOUT the physical act of fornication, “But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart” (Matt. 5:28). That is NOT grounds for divorce. Man’s dictionaries define fornication for single people and adultery for those that are already married. That is nonsense. Fornication is the physical act no matter who they are; married or single. Paul makes no distinction between married or unmarried people in 1 Corinthians 6:16-18. Of course the Pharisee would have you to think that adultery is committed only by married people and fornication is committed only by single people. That is the standard teaching of a great many teachers who have not [“studied’] to show [themselves] approved unto God” (2 Tim. 2:15).
The Pharisaical priests of the Orthodox Church of the Synodal Text couldn’t get the connection of 1 Corinthians 6:18. They wrote the word “adultery” in Matthew 19:9 despite the FACT that the word there is “pornia” (Greek), which is FORNICATION. Gross ERROR! That goes to show you to what extent a Pharisee will go to when it comes to translating the word of God, even when his own Greek text AGREES with the Authorized Version of the King James Bible (1611) which reads “FORNICATION.” He will go against his own authority, in this case (“the original Greek”). That makes him the final authority just like any educated fool from the scholars union or any professional student of “the originals” that sets himself above any and all manuscripts. Fornication is the ACT itself at any time (1Cor.6:18), while “adultery” is a spiritual declension away from God, which can occur without any physical relationship (Matt. 5:28). Those dumb stupid, self-righteous hypocrites of the Orthodox Church allowed the word “adultery” in Matthew 19:9 to justify their own wicked practices of fornication, thinking that adultery had only to do with married people.
So now we’ve established a second ground for divorce, although I have never counseled a married couple to get a divorce since the day of my salvation back in 1983. I believe in people asking each other for forgiveness and reconciliation. That should always be considered first. Nobody is trying to give you an alibi to get out from responsibilities of a husband or wife. We are talking about sound Bible doctrine. The Bible says, “For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine; but after their own lusts shall they heap to themselves teachers, having itching ears” (2 Tim. 4:3).
Now there is yet in the scriptures another place that deals with our subject at hand, 1 Corinthians 7. It is obvious that there are instances where there might be an unsaved spouse as in verses 13 and 14 “But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away.
And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him.”
In this instance if the unsaved wishes to live with their spouse the husband or wife is not to seek a divorce, “let him not put her away…let her not leave him” But we have the following statement, “But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace” (v. 15). This is a matter of desertion on the part of the unsaved. God himself gives the authority for that unsaved to depart, and the one that is saved “IS NOT UNDER BONDAGE IN SUCH CASES: The saved person is free to marry again. That is NOT sin, “Art thou loosed from a wife? seek not a wife. But and if thou marry, thou hast not sinned; and if a virgin marry, she hath not sinned” (1 Cor. 7:27, 28).
So we have three cases where the scriptures clearly teach grounds for divorce. Those places are clear! But the question comes up, “What if there is no fornication, no death by either the husband or wife, and both are saved. What if my wife/ husband has left, deserted me?”
First of all the Bible takes it for granted that the husband/ wife wouldn’t leave her/ his spouse. You find absolutely no place in the Bible where a wife leaves her husband. As a matter of fact, the directive will of God for the wife is CLEAR, “And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, LET NOT THE WIFE DEPART FROM HER HUSBAND” (1 Cor. 7:10). That is the directive will of God. That is a commandment. Concerning the husband, “and let not the husband put away his wife.” He is not to put away his wife (v. 11). Verses 10 and 11 apply both to saved and unsaved.
In Deuteronomy 24:1-3 it was the man that writes “her a bill of divorcement”…and “sends her out of his house.” Notice how “chauvinistic” the Bible is? You find no where in the Holy Bible where a woman simply packs up her luggage and moves all of her stuff out of the house to leave her husband and household. That is the apostasy of LAODICEA, “rights of the people.” The old school of thought, even among unsaved people was more Biblical than the weak, emotionally unstable Christians of today. In Islamic countries no woman would ever think of leaving her husband. Of course there can be certain abuses by some men in this religion. But for westerners, where women have much more liberty, they abuse that liberty today. I’ve known women years ago that stayed with their husband “till death do you part” which was their agreement, even if he was a jerk. That is more Biblical, for in 1 Peter 3 we find something that is rather RADICAL, even among modern-day Christianity. It is hardly ever preached. As a matter of fact since 1983 I have never heard a sermon (other than my own) preached on 1 Peter 3 concerning two saved people. After all, that is the context. Look at it!
Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any OBEY NOT THE WORD, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives;
Do you know what you just read??? It is talking about SAVED husbands that “obey NOT the word.” You’ve got pastors that can’t even read the context. We are talking about Sara who OBEYED ABRAHAM (v. 6). Sarah was obedient to Abraham when he was DISOBEDIENT many times in the Old Testament.
1. Abraham was told to leave his homestead in Ur. Here he obeyed. Did Sarah leave him to stay home? NO. She obeyed and went with him. She had to deal with constant traveling, “living in a suitcase.” Did she complain about it? No!
2. Abraham went down to Egypt. That is DISOBEDIENCE! The fruit of that was a colored wife (Agar). That is DISOBEDIENCE. Lot also took to himself a colored wife because Abraham was a stumbling block by his DISOBEDIENCE. Abraham nearly lost of his own wife (Gen. 12:15). Abraham lied to a Hamite (Gen. 12:19). That is DISOBEDIENCE! And sickness came upon other people as punishment for lying in the first place (Gen. 12:17). Abraham, at this point could hardly be called a man of faith. Did Sarah leave Abraham? No! She stayed with him.
3. When Abraham was told to take Isaac to kill him (Gen. 22) did Sarah say, “No! If you do that I’ll leave you!?” No. She was quiet and stayed with him.
4. When Abraham DISOBEYED GOD, and feared man, and told Sarah to lie and say that she was his brother, did she threaten him to leave him? No! She obeyed her husband as the Bible says.
5. In Genesis 20 Abraham continued in his DISOBEDIENCE (1 Pet. 3:1) by telling Sarah again to lie to a heathen king. Sarah SUBMITTED unto her husband by lying to fulfill her husbands’ wishes, “even she herself said, He is my brother…” (v. 5).
The only time where Sarah showed any kind of lack of faith is when she laughed at what the Lord told them about her giving birth to a son in her old age. When she laughed in unbelief it was the Lord that stepped in and mildly rebuked her, “Then Sarah denied, saying, I laughed not; for she was afraid. And he said, Nay; but thou didst laugh” (Gen. 18:15).
Now to the woman the command throughout the Bible is CLEAR -
“Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and HE SHALL RULE OVER THEE” (Gen. 3:16).
“Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord” (Col. 3:18).
“Let the woman learn in silence WITH ALL SUBJECTION” (1 Tim. 2:11).
“Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands IN EVERY THING” (Eph. 5:24). Did you read that? “IN EVERYTHING.” When it comes to finances, budget, buying a car or house, renting an apartment or a house, raising children, or not having any children, working or not working, considering where the family is going to live, going to church, where he wants you to go to church, and so on and so forth, the final say-so is the responsibility of the “head” of the home, the husband and not a pastor or some “friend.” She may suggest things, but to command or demand of the husband what you, sister, think the way it ought to be is REBELLION. And if you don’t like that you should never have gotten married in the first place. But the fact of the matter is you agreed to marry him and you took marriage vows to love, cherish and obey him. And that doesn’t mean only when he is obedient in all things as you would want him to be. You may not always agree with what he tells you to do, but nonetheless, your position before God is one of subjection to your own husband. Humble yourself, accept the facts, and trust God. You are not to be his boss and teach him how things ought to be, “But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence” (1 Tim. 2:12). The worst mistake you can make is by taking things into your own hands and try to teach, demand of him and command your husband what ought to be done. Instead, you should give your husband to the Lord and let the Lord Himself deal with him, just as Sarah obey her own husband when he was disobedient and the Lord rebuked Abraham and got him straightened out. It wasn’t Sarah who fought with him as the television promotes. The television shows women who have a face that is as bold as a 33 year-old soldiers’ and stand before there husbands and yell at them as a drill sergeant yells at his troops. “But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.