THE BITS…
George Clooney got married in Italy over the weekend. It was the saddest day for women since they cancelled Sex and the City.
George Clooney got married in Italy on Saturday. The tears were flowing. Not from the guests – from the women that had gathered outside.
George Clooney got married in Italy over the weekend. Among the stars invited to the wedding were Brad Pitt, Matt Damon, Julia Roberts and Ellen Barkin. Before the wedding, they got together with Clooney and pulled another heist.
George Clooney got married in Italy over the weekend. Amal Alamuddin had four bridesmaids, which is not nearly as many as George has had.
Former American Idol judge Randy Jackson’s wife has filed for divorce. Jackson wasn’t able to convince her that she misheard him when he said she was ‘pitchy.’
Former American Idol judge Randy Jackson’s wife has filed for divorce. Sadly, he’s elected not to use his one save.
Jennifer Lopez and actress Leah Remini were involved in a traffic accident on Saturday when an alleged drunk driver rear ended them at a stoplight. It’s the biggest rear-ender Lopez has been involved in since her Booty video.
Jersey Shore’s Snooki gave birth to a baby girl on Friday. She weighed 6.7 lbs. and had a full head of black hair. Not the baby – Snooki.
President Obama was on 60 Minutes last night and said when crises emerge around the world they don't call Beijing or Moscow, they call the United States. Well, either the U.S. or Superman.
SON OF THE BITS…
Duchess Kate Middleton reportedly plans to return to work pretty soon after battling morning sickness. In other news, Duchess Kate has a job.
Duchess Kate Middleton reportedly plans to return to work pretty soon after suffering from acute morning sickness. You know Kate is attractive when even her morning sickness is cute.
North Korean leader Kim Jong Un hasn't been seen in public in almost a month and now the government there says he’s "suffering discomfort." Apparently he finally got a good look at his haircut.
North Korean leader Kim Jong Un hasn't been seen in public in nearly a month and officials say he’s "suffering discomfort." They say it’s the first time Kim Jong Un has suffered discomfort since Dennis Rodman sang Happy Birthday to him.
Derek Jeter wrapped up his 20-year career with the New York Yankees yesterday. Jeter says he’s looking forward to spending more time with his money.
General Motors is warning Chevrolet Corvette owners that an option on their car that allows them to secretly record conversations in their cars may be illegal. However, it is legal if those conversations are recorded by the government.
Today is National Coffee Day. People say they’re planning to celebrate all day and into the night. That’s because they’ll be too wired to get to sleep.
A Delaware man was struck and killed by a car while attempting to cross a street to get to a funeral home. On the bright side, they say he eventually got there.
TODAY’S BITMAN AUDIO…
Today on the Bitman audio feed we have clips from Saturday Night Live and the season premiere of The Simpsons, plus the Sunday Night Football final call.
It’s all at
Not hearing anything? TV Sound bites are available at BitmanComedy.com! If you need access to the site, contact Adrienne Munos at United Stations Radio Network at561-381-7598or
TINSELTOWN TATTLER…
GEORGE CLOONEY married Amal Alamuddin in a twilight ceremony in Venice, Italy on Saturday. A flotilla of boats brought the guests to the ceremony at the seven-star Aman Canal Grande Hotel. The ceremony was performed by former Rome Mayor Walter Veltroni, who’s a friend of Clooney, and stars such as Bono, Bill Murray, Sandra Bullock, Matt Damon, Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie and Julia Roberts were on the guest list. Guests were instructed to leave their cell phones in their hotel rooms and were instead given disposable phones with a code, which served as an entry pass to the ceremony. They were also given cameras to take photos, but each camera had a code so if the pictures wound up in the tabloids, they could be traced. In any case, the Saturday wedding was symbolic and an official civil ceremony is expected to take place today at the Venice town hall.
Rumor has itthat MARY-KATE OLSENmay have secretly married her much older boyfriend Olivier Sarkozy. Mary-Kate has been seen wearing a Cartier engagement ring since spring, but last week she was seen in the Hamptons with Sarkozy and they were both wearing gold bands on their left ring fingers while she had her engagement ring on her right hand.
Former American Idol judge RANDY JACKSON’S wife has filed for divorce, citing the usual irreconcilable differences. They’ve been married 18 years and Erika Jackson is seeking "full physical custody and joint legal custody" of their 17-year-old son, Jordan. They had no prenup, which means they’ll split Randy's $40 million fortune 50/50. It should be as friendly as these things go as they're still living together and getting along fine.
TINSELTOWN TATTLER 2…
It turns out that WIZ KHALIFA left AMBER ROSE weeks before she filed for divorce, but it was catching him with another woman that prompted her to file the papers. Wiz moved out and got his own place and Amber dropped by one night at 2 a.m. and found him with another woman and went nuclear. However, Wiz says it wasn't cheating because he made it clear weeks earlier the marriage was over.
A couple of celebrity babies arrived on Friday. Jersey Shore’s SNOOKI and fiance Jionni LaValle welcomed daughterGiovanna. Snooki tweeted, “So happy to let you know we had our beautiful daughter this morning Giovanna Marie LaValle. 6.7 lbs, full head of black hair & perfect.” Incidentally, the birth was filmed and will be shown on an upcoming episode of “Snooki & JWoww.” CHELSEA CLINTON and husband Marc Mezvinsky also welcomed a daughter on Friday. Chelsea tweeted, "Marc and I are full of love, awe and gratitude as we celebrate the birth of our daughter, Charlotte Clinton Mezvinsky."
AVRIL LAVIGNE celebrated her 30th birthday in Las Vegas over the weekend. Avril celebrated with some close friends, but not husband Chad Kroeger. Sources say they’ve been "fighting a lot" and that "they're having a lot of issues," but it didn’t stop Avril and her friends from partying at The Bank Nightclub inside the Bellagio Resort & Casino until 2:45 a.m.
KANYE WEST and KIM KARDASHIAN were booed when they made a late entrance tothe Lanvin show at Paris' Fashion Week.Kanye told the paparazzi and others not to boo them since they were only late because Lanvin's creative director, Alber Elbaz, asked to see them.(See here)
TINSELTOWN TATTLER 3…
JENNIFER LOPEZ and actress LEAH REMINI were involved in a traffic accident on Saturday when an alleged drunk driver hit their car at a stoplight. The guy left the scene of the accident, but police caught up with him a short time later. J.Lo later tweeted: "Sitting at a light, Riding high right before some drunk fool rear ended us in my new whip!!! Thank god everyone ok!!!"
ROBIN WILLIAMS’ family and some of his famous friends gathered for a private memorial on Saturday in San Francisco. There were speeches from Whoopi Goldberg, Bobcat Goldthwait, Bonnie Hunt, Eric Idle,Williams’ wife and children and Billy Crystal, who was in tears as he spoke. Stevie Wonder provided the music and those in attendance included Bette Midler, Ben Stiller, George Lucas, Penny Marshall, Danny De Vito, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Jeff Bridges, Minnie Driver, Josh Groban, Seth Green, Eddie Izzard andRichard Lewis.
DATELINE HOLLYWOOD…
This Weekend’s Top 10 Movies…
1. "The Equalizer," $35 million
2. "The Maze Runner," $17.5 million
3. "The Boxtrolls," $17.2 million
4. "This Is Where I Leave You," $7 million.
5. "Dolphin Tale 2," $4.8 million.
6. "No Good Deed," $4.6 million.
7. "A Walk Among the Tombstones," $4.2 million
8. "Guardians of the Galaxy," $3.8 million
9. "Let's Be Cops," $1.5 million
10. "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles," $1.5 million
THE SIMPSONS opened Season 26 last night with the death of Krusty the Clown’s father, Rabbi Hyman Krustofski, who was voiced by Jackie Mason. Earlier this year, executive producer Al Jean mentioned that a character voiced by an Emmy winner would die this season. It was reported that it would be a main character that died, but Rabbi Krustofski was only in about a half dozen episodes.
The latest name being mentioned to replace the late Joan Rivers on Fashion Police is Real Housewives of Atlanta starNENE LEAKES. The show won’t return until next year, but not everyone seems to be on board as Kelly Osbourne supposedly feels that it’s pointless to continue with the show because anyone they try to replace Joan with will fail miserably.
MUSIC NOTES…
R.E.M. has another box set on the way. This one is a six-disc DVD set called REMTV that features decades of television appearances from between 1983 and 2007. It contains both of their MTV Unplugged appearances and has three discs of live performances. REMTV is due out November 24th.
THOM YORKE released a surprise new album on Friday called “Tomorrow’s Modern Boxes” on the BitTorrent site at a cost of $6. It’s the Internet’s first paid-for music torrent and Yorke said, “It’s an experiment to see if the mechanics of the system are something that the general public can get its head around…”
After all these years, STEVIE NICKS has finally confirmed rumors that she got pregnant by DON HENLEYwhile they briefly dated during the late 1970s. However, Stevie says the Fleetwood Mac song “Sara” wasn’t about that. While Stevie says she would’ve named the baby Sara had it been a girl, the inspiration was another woman by that name, who would become Mick Fleetwood’s wife.
A group of five Swedish scientists have revealed they have a wager to see who can work the most BOB DYLAN quotes into research articles. The scientists say it started17 years ago when professors John Jundberg and Eddie Weitzberg wrote a piece about intestinal gas and dubbed it "Nitric Oxide and inflammation: The answer is blowing in the wind."
The TINA TURNER Museum at Flagg Grove School was dedicated on Friday in Brownsville, Tennessee. Tina once attended the restored one-room schoolhouse, which now features gold-and-platinum records and outfits worn during her career. Tina wasn’t on hand, but she recorded a video that was played for fans.
In case you’re wondering, TAYLOR SWIFT isn’t using her cat, Olivia Benson, as an accessory. Taylor was photographed carrying Olivia recently, but she now says it was only becauseOliviafreaks out when she’s in her carrier.
MUSIC NOTES 2…
ONE DIRECTION fans are ticked over a joke on Jon Stewart’s Daily Show. The show's Jessica Williams joked about how quickly terrorist groups were multiplying in the Middle East saying, "Just as you were talking, a new terrorist group has formed with one member each from ISIS, Al Nusra, Al Qaeda, Hamas, One Direction and the Zetas drug cartel."Fans were upset because they assumed it was a reference to Zayn Malik, who is Muslim. (See here – about 2:12 in)
BEYONCE surprised the crowd at the Global Citizen Festival in Central Park Saturday when she joined JAY Z onstage. Apparently Beyonce was pretty excited about it because at one point she popped out of her blouse, saved from a wardrobe malfunction only by her nude-colored bra! (See here - around 2:20)
CARRIE UNDERWOOD has announced that she’ll release a best-of album called "Greatest Hits: Decade #1" on December 9th. The album will also include a couple new songs, including the first single, “Something in the Water.”
ERIC CHURCH is about to be a dad again. Baby rumors began after he changed the lyric in his song "Sinners Like Me" during a show from "Give my dad a grandson" to "Give my dad another grandson." Church and his wife, Katherine, married in 2008 and have a son named Boone McCoy.
RICKY SKAGGS and his wife Sharon White won the 1987 CMA Vocal Duo of the Year award for their song "Love Can't Ever Get Better Than This," but have just now gotten around to recording an entire album. Their new album called Hearts Like Ours will be out tomorrow.
TUBULAR…
Daytime:
GMA: Melissa Etheridge performs
Today: Ben Affleck; chef Jamie Oliver; The Script performs; Jordin Sparks
Kelly& Michael: Ben Affleck (``Gone Girl''); Bryan Adams performs
The View:Alicia Keys performs
The Talk:``NCIS: Los Angeles'' stars LL Cool J and Chris O'Donnell
Queen Latifah: Actress Lea Thompson; singer André 3000
Ellen: Martin Short; Temples performs
Primetime:
ABC:Dancing with the Stars celebrities dance to songs from their favorite movies
NBC: The Voice blind auditions continue
CW:Taylor Swift, Coldplay, Nicki Minaj, Ariana Grande, Zac Brown Band, Usher, Bastille and more perform at the I Heart Radio Music Festival
ESPN:Monday Night Football Patriots at Chiefs
Late Night:
Jimmy Kimmel: Jennifer Love Hewitt; Clean Bandit performs
David Letterman: Neil Patrick Harris; Aretha Franklin performs
Jimmy Fallon: Ben Affleck; Tony Bennett performs
Craig Ferguson:Comic Jim Gaffigan; chef Wolfgang Puck
Seth Meyers: Colony House performs
Conan: Kenny Chesneyperforms
THE WATERCOOLER…
Today is National Coffee Day and you can score a free cup at Dunkin’ Donuts, Krispy Kreme and McDonald’s. Today at Dunkin’ Donuts you can get a medium cup of their new hot Dark Roast coffee. Krispy Kreme is offering a free 12 oz. cup of coffee and McDonald’s will give you a free small cup of coffee at participating locations during breakfast hours.
Some 15 people were wounded when gunfire erupted at a Miami restaurant and nightclub early Sunday morning. Witnesses say an estimated 100 shots rang out and authorities say the victims were between the ages of 11 and 25. They haven’t established as to why someone that young would be out that late, but police say they have no motive and don't know if it was one or several shooters.
The college football highlight of the weekend was when a knucklehead rushed onto the field during the Ohio State-Cincinnati game and was greeted by strength and conditioning coach Anthony Schlegel. The former wrestler, power-lifter, Air Force Academy grad, and linebacker for the Jets and Bengals body-slammed the kid and dragged him off the field. (See here)
As if the Washington Redskins don’t have enough troubles, now they’ve been caught selling expired beer at their games. Budweiser in bottles advertising the 2014 World Cup were still being sold at last Thursday night’s game, even though they’d expired in June. Dan Steinberg ofThe Washington Postfirst noticed the expired beer andran the code through the "Track Your Bud" website, where he found the beer has "passed its freshness date."
THE WATERCOOLER 2…
General Motors is warning Chevrolet Corvette owners that an option on their car may be illegal and they’retelling them not to use it. The cars’ Valet Mode allows owners to secretly record conversations in their cars and performance data while it disables the entertainment system and locks storage compartments to deter thefts when the owner isn’t along for the ride, such as when the car in being parked by a valet. It turns out that the secret recordings are illegal in many states. GM is working on a software update that should take care of the problem.
Microsoft is having a big press event in San Francisco tomorrow in which they’re expected to unveil their next Windows operating system. There's talk that it might be called something other than the expected "Windows 9" or that Microsoft may call this and all future operating systems just "Windows" from now on. A lot of people didn’t like the new look of Windows 8 and it was later updated to add features that made it more like previous versions.