Influencing Workshop objectives
Objective:
To develop a range of influencing skills to use flexibly in day to day work and life.
What you will get:
- An understanding of a range of influencing styles to use
- The opportunity to practice these skills
- To review your role and key stakeholders to build relationships
- Increase confidence to be able to handle situations more flexibly
Outcome:
- A development plan to work with beyond the workshop
- An Action plan to practice newly learned skills
Influencing Energy
Push Energy / Pull Energy- I am on my agenda
- I take most of the air-space
- I focus on me and my ideas
- I am interested in me
- I interrupt you to get my
- I give information and my
- I tell you what I think
- I tell you what I want
- I state the consequences for you and my position
- I tell you how I feel
- Your agenda is important to me
- You have most of the air-space
- I encourage you to talk
- I am interested in you
- I find out about your needs
- I show that I am listening to you
- I ask you questions to understand your point of view
- I share information with you
- I enclose personal experience
- I help you describe your success
Influencing style descriptions
Energy / Style / DescriptionPush / Emotive / Push style, highly visible energy, high intensity, a strong declaration of how I feel, backed up with strong confident body language.
Push / Assertive / Push style, moderately visible energy, can be high intensity but usually more measured, a strong declaration of what I want and need, backed up by serious and firm body language
Push / Persuasive / Push style, lower visible energy, lower intensity, a rational statement of what I think, backed up with specific gestures and restrained body language
Pull / Listening / Pull style, lower visible energy, lower intensity, a range of techniques to demonstrate that you are listening and understanding, backed up with relaxed and open body language
Pull / Trusting / Pull style, moderately visible energy, can be high intensity but may not always feel it, builds openness and rapport through demonstrating your own trust and openness, backed up with inclusive, close body language
Pull / Inspiring / Pull style high visible energy, high intensity, generates enthusiasm and energy by encouraging positive thinking in creative and visionary ways, backed dup with expansive and energetic body language
Influencing Style Summary
Emotive Style
Words: / I feel this when you do …because ...I am feeling… about…because…
Explicit and unambiguous declaration of feeling and the reason(s) for that feeling
Tone: / Matching the emotion being described
Unapologetic
Body Language: / Meaningful eye contact
Emotion is reflected in facial expression
Confident and comfortable posture to mirror emotion
Appropriate gestures to reinforce the emotion and energy
General comments: / Best used at the time of feeling the emotion and not afterwards
Develop a range of emotive vocabulary for most impact
Not an emotional outburst
Avoid ‘I feel that… as this is another way of saying’ I think’ (it is I feel…)
Acknowledge what you see or hear in others
Influencing Style Summary
Assertive Style
Words: /What I like…
What I don’t like… Evaluation
What I want, need, insist or demand…
If you do…
Consequences
If you don’t …
Tone: / Strong and demanding, forceful if necessary
Even Paced and confident
Body Language: / Strong eye contact
Serious facial expression
Grounded feet and straight posture
Firm, chopping hand gestures
General comments: / Short statements with no supporting or embellishing reasons
Direct and to the point with positive and negative outcomes
Making clear what you want from the other person and the consequences of doing or not doing so
Incentives and pressures not bribes and threats, that you are able to deliver
Broken record techniques
Influencing Style Summary
Persuasive Style
Words: / I think, I suggest, I propose, I strongly recommend…In my view, the data infers…
Because …backed up by two to three reasons
Very precise
Tone: / Measured and even paced
Calm and with conviction to be taken seriously
Balanced and clinical
Body Language: / Moderate eye contact
Impassive facial expression
Upright, square and slightly forward moving posture
Counting hand gestures
General comments: / Logical, factual and rational
Restates argument when challenges
Limit the number of reasons to avoid confusion and sound over opinionated
Balance positive and negative reasoning
More frequently used style therefore most bad habits
No rambling
Influencing Style Summary
Inspiring Style
Words: / Just imagine…What if…
Analogy and stories
See, hear and feel
Descriptive and powerful
Tone: / High energy
Variety of pace, projection and intonation
Fast space
Enthusiasm
Body Language: / Strong, energetic eye contact
Animated facial expressions
Posture uses space
Expansive and expressive use of gestures and movement
General comments: / Generating enthusiasm and positive ideas
Encourages others to want to open up as they feel you are really interested and enthusiastic about them
Establishes a positive and productive atmosphere
Helps the individual creates their own vision of success
Influencing Style Summary
Trusting Style
Words: / The way I am seeing things is …Some information that may help…
In my experience…
My thinking about this is…
Tone: / Sincere
Genuine and authentic
Non-defensive
Body Language: / Moderate eye-contact
Neutral facial expressions
Relaxed posture
Inclusive gestures
General comments: / Sharing of personal experiences, feelings or facts to build empathy through disclosure and encourage others to feel comfortable talking to you
Takes time in a relationship
Disclosures are to help the other person to open up about themselves and not to get something off your chest
This is not a ‘jerry Springer’ moment!
Influencing Style Summary
Listening Style
Words: / So what you are sayingDeeper
You sound… about… intensity of
listening
In summary then,…
How, What, Where, Who, When, Why ?
Interpreting, summarise, reflect feelings and emotions, reflect data and content, eye contact
Tone: / Warm and encouraging
Matching speaker’s energy
Body Language: / Supportive eye contact
Warm and calm facial expression
Mirroring posture
Open and inviting gestures
General comments: / Builds the relationship
Keep to the other persons agenda, question to help them check your understanding
Exploration of their needs, not interrogation to satisfy yours
Influencing Style Summary
Self-awareness practice
Context What happenedWords I used:
Tone:
Body Language:
What went well:
What do I want to do differently?