[HI1] COUNSELOR’S CORNER

Using Board Games as Learning Tools
Thomas Armstrong, Ph.D.

Most families enjoy board games from time to time as a way of relaxing and having fun. Did you know, however, that while your family's having a good time, you're also providing your children with a marvelous experience? Many games do a wonderful job of providing kids with important learning experiences. • Scrabble, for example, helps kids with spelling and vocabulary development. • Monopoly provides them with the opportunity to engage in arithmetic while handling finances. • Clue requires players to think logically and deductively. • Battleship teaches children about the Cartesian coordinate system, so important to map reading and higher mathematics. • Pictionary and the game Win, Lose, or Draw help develop visual thinking abilities by requiring players to draw concepts and ideas. Just because games are educational, however, doesn't mean you should force your children to play them or grade them on their efforts. Games need to be entered into voluntarily and enjoyed for their own sake, in order for their true educational benefits to be realized.

We have now completed the second week of school and I hope that you and your children are becoming more familiar with the policies and procedures of Maplebrook Elementary We are so glad to have each and every one of you here!

Some of you are concerned that your child may not be academically motivated. Academically motivated children want to learn, like learning-related activities, and believe that school is important. At Maplebrook we want to help children develop a desire to do well in school because they believe that learning is important and rewarding in their lives.

Children are naturally motivated to learn when they are infants. This early motivation to learn is later applied to school related activities such as reading and writing. When children are not motivated to learn, it is because something has gotten in the way of their natural motivation. They believe that they cannot do well in school-related tasks, and they stop trying or do not try hard enough. Since they stop trying, they are not successful.

Why do children develop these negative beliefs? Sometimes it is because of things that affect their ability to learn, but sometimes it is the attitudes of adults that affect their academic progress. Parents who have standards that are unrealistic can be discouraging to children. Children who don’t experience success or whose success is not recognized, or whose parents do not think that school is important may develop poor academic motivation.

There are some things that parents can do to increase their child’s motivation to be successful:

l. Be firm and fair when you discipline your child. Reasonable discipline will teach them to be independent and responsible.

2. Teach your child to be responsible at home

3. Let your child know that you think learning is important and is the purpose of school.

4. Have a set routine for school work and a place to do it.

5. Make sure that your children finish school work before doing other activities.

6. Show your child that you respect his or her teacher.

7. Develop a system to give reinforcements at home for hard work in school.

8. Reward effort and productivity

9. Limit things that interfere with learning, such as excessive TV, video games, athletic activities, play time.

Marge Wyatt

School Counselor

Secrets of Friendship

Over the past decade we have been hearing more and more about girls bullying girls. The words "mean girls" seem to be used more freely. While we used to think of bullying as acts of physical aggression more frequently occurring among boys, more recently the focus has shifted to girls. However, female bullying does not typically occur in the traditional form. Girls don't usually punch each other...they rely more on words and the manipulation of friendships. It's earned its own title, "relational aggression."

Relational aggression can be define as "behavior among girls that is intended to harm someone by damaging or manipulating her relationships with others." Relational aggression "actively excludes girls from making or maintaining friendships." They use tactics such as rumors, exclusion, and gossip to get at another. They know how to use these techniques in unobvious ways, so it is much more challenging to identify and may be more likely to go unnoticed.

What can we do to help our girls?

  • Increase your awareness of relational aggression. Knowledge is power. Discuss the various types of bullying behaviors. Point out that even the more covert behaviors are indeed bullying behaviors.
  • Outline consequences of this type of inappropriate behavior.
  • Observe your child. Take notice of her verbal and nonverbal interactions with others. If you hear or see something you feel is unacceptable, address it with your daughter and brainstorm more acceptable behaviors and role play these scenarios.
  • Help your daughter understand that conflict is a natural occurrence in a friendship. Encourage the use of communication in dealing with conflict.
  • Listen to your child. If your child tells you she is being bullied, talk with her and get as many details as possible. Stay calm and try not to get upset in her presence. Send her the message that you are there to support her. Commend her on her bravery for sharing what is on her mind.
  • Encourage your child to choose friends who treat her well and make her feel good inside and not just girls who may seem "cool."
  • Model respect and caring in your own interactions with your daughter, family, and friends.
  • Reinforce the importance of friendships. Encourage play dates and social interactions outside of school.
  • Encourage assertive behavior. Teach your child the difference between being aggressive (too much), passive (too little/not enough), and assertive (just right). Practice having her stand up for herself first in safe family situations. Encourage her to use these skills in peer situations as well.

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