When I hear the word ‘Journey’ my mind immediately goes to compasses and maps.
When I entered this Dharma Center I had neither. My spiritual journey had begun and I wasn’t even aware of it. The language was a little different and the style was a lot different but what struck me was how I felt. I wanted to know more, and hear more… but mostly I wanted to experience more.
That continues to be my path to this day. I am embraced by the Buddha, guided by the dharma and supported by the Sangha. Every step, every turn is a reflection of the gifts I continually receive from the Lotus Sutra and my daily practice.
Getting on a plane and flying to Tokyo, Japan to receive my Dharma Teacher Certificate was one more step in this process. Knowing that I would be one of four Americans going through the ceremony never really became much of a reality for me. I felt part of something larger and more powerful than any one country or nationality.
Even though many of the participants could not speak or understand each other’s languages we communicated on a level far more meaningful through our hearts. Just looking into one another’s eyes, smiling, touching a shoulder, bowing to one another said all that needed to be communicated.
The International group met with Reverend Sazuki the day before the ceremony. He gave us guidance for the next part of our journey and in return we offered our vows to the group. Up to that point I had looked at and considered what my vows might be, however I had yet to solidify them by putting them on paper.
That afternoon we dressed especially for the occasion all in black and gathered in the Great Sacred Hall for the long chant. This is the part of the ceremony that held the most mystery for me. We were asked to close our eyes and the lights were lowered. As it turned out what I felt was the depth of all the staff and members that were there to support us during the longest chant of my life. Just when I felt I could not speak one more, “Namu myoho renge kyo” because my voice was gone…several people surrounded me and lifted their voices to give me strength. To my surprise and delight, I started chanting louder than I had before. The room felt like a furnace being stoked with more and more energy. When the chant came to an end and I started looking around I could see that people were in all kinds of states of emotion from absolute joy to tears running down their faces. Again the process moved forward.
The next day dawned with rain pouring down and grey skies. My heart could have cared less. I sort of floated to the Great Sacred Hall and enjoyed the morning service with great gusto. Everything felt so light and easy.
After lunch we dressed for the ceremony, again all in black. Entering the hall I felt like this crowd knew me. There were waves, smiles, nods and bowing, bowing, bowing. The ceremony began and the Four Americans were among the first 8 to go up to the stage to receive their Dharma Teacher Certificates.
I was still floating as I approached the steps to the stage. Being #4 caused some anxiety, but I just kept in mind that this was a sacred ceremony and it was important to stay focused. As we first eight walked to our places on the stage and turned, I saw for the first time the person who would be presenting me with the certificate. It was the Founder’s granddaughter, the president’s daughter…the future president of RK. In a world of ‘no big deals’ I felt very blessed. A sign some might say, of the choice I had made to walk the bodhisattiva path.
The rest of the trip was nothing but open hearts and pure joy everywhere I went. I visited a church in the suburbs and really saw how the Japanese practice the path. They expressed such dedication and care. I felt as though I was a family member who was being welcomed home. Wonderful food, smiles, applause and a freshly
made up futon.
It was very hard to say goodbye. A part of my heart remains there, in those places and the rest I brought home.
On the plane home I thought a lot about the journey thus far. I thought about what had led me to this part of my life. I began to think of experiences I have shared with each of you throughout these years of struggle, process and growth.
I can still remember the day I realized how compassion really felt. For the first time I realized I had always known what compassion was and how it was expressed, but I had never experienced how it felt. The difference was stunning and world altering for me.
This practice helped me get in touch with the ‘stories’ I had built to keep me away from my family. It gave me a practice that allowed me to show my love and appreciation for my ancestors and my family members who now all live inside my life.
Because of what I have learned through the Lotus Sutra, I am getting better at recognizing what is going on inside of me at any given time. I have even gotten better at expressing how I feel to my partner. This has created the opportunity for us to grow together and share the middle path.
The support of this sangha and all the larger sangha of RK has guided me to see my own buddha nature and the value of my own humanness. It constantly assists me in looking in the mirror and being comfortable with what I see.
This path has given me life in a way I had no idea was possible. Living in the present makes my days so much more powerful and interesting. There are lessons for me to learn if I am willing to be present to them. And if I happen to start drifting into a danger zone, such as depression, feeling sorry for myself, blaming others or ego-based behavior…I soon realize it and look for the path. It appears instantly and I can begin to examine my part in the drift.
And so the vow that I make to the Buddha, and the sangha is this:
To follow the bodisattava path, to be of service where and when I can, to listen with my heart and to see each person’s Buddha Nature.