4 Column Exercise (taken from Kegan et al., 2009, Immunity to Change, pp. 228-305)

1
Commitment
(improvement goal) / 2A
Positives / 2B
Doing / not doing instead / 3
Hidden competing commitments / 4
Big assumptions
I really need to… / I am already doing these things to accomplish my improvement goal… / …but sometimes, instead of doing those things, I … /
I do the things in column 2B because I am also committed to not… / I assume that…

Example 4 Column Exercise (taken from Kegan et al., 2009, Immunity to Change, pp. 228-305)

1
Commitment
(improvement goal) / 2A
Positives / 2
Doing / not doing instead / 3
Hidden competing commitments / 4
Big assumptions
I really need to…
To be a better listener (to not let my mind wander), to not get so impatient / I am already doing these things to accomplish my improvement goal…
I listen to people on days when I am feeling motivated.
I enjoy listening to some people. / …but sometimes, instead of doing those things, I…
I allow my attention to wander off.
I start looking at my phone, or talking to other people next to me, or think about what I will be doing on the weekend or after school.
If I am trying to listen to another student, I start thinking about how I might come up with an impressive response and stop listening to what he or she is saying.
I often start thinking about what the other person should do differently.
I quickly determine if this information is important to me and then stop listening if I don’t think that I will get anything useful out of listening. /
To not looking stupid
I am also committed to…
To not looking stupid
To not being humiliated
To not feeling helpless
To not feeling or being out of control
To not making a big mistake / I assume that…
I assume that no one cares
I assume that if other people see me listening, they will judge me as weird or not cool.
I assume that if I listen and really care, then it will hurt because I assume that I am unable to help.
I assume that other people’s behavior is out of my control.
I assume that my own behavior is out of my control.
I assume that if I make a big mistake that it could ruin my social reputation.
I assume that people just ignore me and are not offended or hurt when I ignore them

Kegan et al., 2009, Ch 9: Diagnosing your immunity to change, Immunity to Change, pp. 228-251 305)

Column 1: Your improvement goal

“If the purpose is really to bring about significant change … in individuals … or a whole team, then everything depends on what people put in that first column!” (Kegan, 2009, p. 229).

“You can’t just let people choose all by themselves what they put in the first column. We all need input… we fool ourselves…. So… how can any of us be expected to be the best source of information of what it is we should really work at improving?” (Kegan et al., 2009, p. 229).

“You can’t solve by brilliant analysis later on what you screwed up at the start in the original design” (Kegan, 2009, p. 230).

In this column, spend a lot of time thinking about many goals to help you identify the “one big thing” that would really help you and your project the most. When you create this goal, check with your friends or teammates and family members to determine if everyone agrees that this would really help.

Personal Questions:

·  Is this goal important to you? Would it be a big deal if you could get dramatically better at this? Do you really want to get better at this? Do you feel some urgency about getting better at this? Do you feel like you need to accomplish this goal?

·  Is this goal important to other people around you? When you share this goal with other people, does this bring a shine to their eyes? Would they be happy to find out that this is what you are working to try and improve? Would they recommend an alternative goal for you?

·  Is this a personal improvement goal for yourself that only you can make? Are you taking personal responsibility for your own growth or are you blaming the problem on someone or something else? (For example: If only people didn’t waste my time with boring conversation, then I would in fact be a much better listener.)

Group Questions:

·  Are we each honestly excited about each person’s goal?

·  Do we all feel that these one-big-things would make a significant difference in each other and our project?

Example taken from Kegan et al., 2009, Immunity to Change, p.249.

1: Commitment (improvement goal)
To be a better listener (to not let my mind wander), to not get so impatient


Column 2A: Positives

In this column you will write down all of the things you are already doing or not doing that work toward your first-column goal.

·  The more concrete behaviors you can list the better. (For example: “I listen” v. “I face the person speaking and give them eye contact.”)

·  The more honest items you enter, the more powerful your map will be.

·  Make sure that everything you enter provides a picture of you working towards your own goal in column 1.

·  In this column, you do not need to explain why you are doing these things, just list the behaviors.

·  After you have exhausted your own mind, seek out another person that could honestly identify your behaviors that may be working toward your goal.

Examples modified but taken from Kegan et al., 2009, Immunity to Change, p.249.

2A: Positives
When I am motivated, I remember to face the person speaking and give them eye contact.
I enjoy listening to some people and do not have a problem listening when what they say is interesting.

Column 2B: The doing / not doing instead inventory

In this column you will write down all of the things you are doing or not doing that work against your first-column goal.

·  The more concrete behaviors you can list the better. (For example: “I get impatient” v. “I start looking at my phone.”)

·  The more honest items you enter, the more powerful your map will be. The purpose is not to shame, embarrass, or assign fault.

·  Make sure that everything you enter provides a picture of you working against your own goal in column 1. (The purpose of this assignment is to discover your own immunity to change!)

·  In this column, you do not need to explain why you are doing these things, or try to think of ideas or ways to try and fix these behaviors.

·  After you have exhausted your own mind, seek out another person that could honestly identify your behaviors that may be working against your goal. If you select the right person… they will have things to add to your list!

Examples modified but taken from Kegan et al., 2009, Immunity to Change, p.249.

2B: Doing / not doing instead
I allow my attention to wander off.
I start looking at my phone.
I start thinking about what I will be doing on the weekend or after school.
If I am trying to listen to another student, I start thinking about how I might come up with an impressive response and stop listening to what he or she is saying.
I often start thinking about what the other person should do differently.
I quickly determine if this information is important to me and then stop listening if I don’t think that I will get anything useful out of listening.

Column 3: Hidden or competing commitments

For additional information read Kegan et al, 2009, Immunity to Change, pp. 238-241.

Step 1: Worry box

Look over the list of all of the things that you are doing or not doing instead of accomplishing your goal (column 2) and imagine that you were to not do those things (stop doing the things that are keeping your from your goal). What is the most uncomfortable, worrisome, or outright scary feeling that you have if you were to stop doing these things that are keeping you from reaching your goal?

Write down all of these worries in the worry box.

“If you do not take this to sufficient depth, the map you come up with will not have enough power” (Kegan et al., 2009, p. 238).

“You need to get to a place where you feel yourself at risk in some way; where you are unprotected from something that feels dangerous to you” (Kegan et al., 2009, p. 238).

“The ‘Eeech’ and the ‘Yuk’ are important. The goal is to locate an actual loathsome feeling; … let yourself vicariously experience a little of this feeling, and then put that feeling into words” (Kegan et al., 2009, p. 238).

·  If you imagine actually doing these things do you feel a little nervous?

·  Have you continually asked yourself why you are having this feeling until you cannot possibly think of any other reason for the fealing?

·  Would you be worried or nervous about sharing this list with other people?

Step 2: Competing commitments

Convert each of the worries that you identified into a third-column commitment. For example if you wrote “I fear that others will judge me as a weirdo and then I will lose popularity among friends,” then you would write, “I am also committed to maintaining my popularity among my friends.”

In this column you may discover that an initial feeling of boredom might actually be a protective, defensive wall created to protect you from deeper feelings of fear or hurt. For example, if you intently listen to another student in class that others may judge as “weird” then perhaps you will also be judged as “weird.” Therefore boredom may be a self-protective wall designed to keep you from being judged by others. This might stem from a greater fear of being alone or being judged as a loner with no friends.

“The idea behind the immunity to change is that we do not merely have these fears; we sensibly, even artfully, protect ourselves from them. We create ways of dealing with the anxiety that these fears provoke. We are not only afraid; we take action to combat our fears. We defend ourselves from what terrifies us. We are actively (but not necessarily consciously) committed to making sure the things we are afraid of do not happen.” (Kegan et al., 2009, p. 241).

Check your third-column commitments to determine if

·  Each is tied to a specific fear

·  Each commitment makes some or all of the behaviors described in column 2B appear to serve an important purpose of self-protection

·  Each commitment is working against the primary goal in column 1.

Do you feel stuck because you are moving in two opposite directions at the same time? Are you stuck by your own contradicting commitments?

If yes, then you have begun to discover your own immunity to change!

Examples modified but taken from Kegan et al., 2009, Immunity to Change, p.249.

3: Hidden competing commitments

I am also committed to…
To not looking stupid
To not being humiliated
To not feeling helpless
To not feeling or being out of control
To not making a big mistake


Column 4: The big assumption

“The most reliable route to disrupting the immune system begins by identifying the core assumptions that sustain it. …there are some ways we understand ourselves and the world… [that we see] as truths, incontrovertible facts, accurate representations of how we and the world are. These constructions of reality are actually assumptions; they may we be true, but they also may not be. When we treat an assumption as if it is a truth, we have made … a big assumption.” (Kegan et al., 2009, pp. 246-247)

“Our own mindset / way of thinking / construction of reality will inevitably contain some blind spot. An adaptive challenge is a challenge because of our blind-spot, and our adaptation will involve some recognition of, and correction of, our blindness” (Kegan et al., 2009, p. 248).

“Once you have begun to surface some possible big assumptions underlying your own immunity to change, you will be in a much better position to work on your immune system, rather than being captive of it” (Kegan et al., 2009, p. 248).

·  Some of the big assumptions you may regard as true, some you may see right away as not being true, and some of them you may be quite unsure about. However, there is some way in which you have felt that every big assumption you list is true… and you might be right.

·  Taken as a whole, the set of big assumptions collectively makes the third-column commitments inevitable. The third-column commitments clearly follow from the big assumptions and generate the behaviors in column 2; these behaviors clearly undermine the goal in column 1.

·  The big assumptions make visible a bigger world that, until now, you have not allowed yourself to venture into. It is possible that the worry box is completely appropriate, but it is also possible that your big assumptions are evidence that you are limiting yourself to only a few of the rooms in the mansion of your life.