Sales Meeting Tool Kit: Difficult Clients – Activity #2

Activity 2: Defusing Dialogue

Before the meeting, print out this sheet and cut out the boxes along the dotted lines. During the meeting, have your sales associates pick slips out of a hat, passing the hat until all the slips are gone (it’s OK if some have more than others). Ask participants to write on the back of each slip alternatives to the words on the front. Then, go through each slip with the group, explaining why the printed phrases are problematic and discussing alternatives.

I’ll try / You / You should / Always
Your problem is / Never / Why? / You have to
You ought / A.S.A.P / Fault / Do you hear me?
You’re confused / Mister / Of course / You misunderstand

Avoid sounding bossy

  • Instead of: “You have to,” say “Would you please?”
  • Instead of “You should,” say “you might consider”
  • Instead of “You ought to,” talk about the alternative choices they have

People don't like to be bossed around. In some cases, telling them what they should/ought to do will make them less likely to follow your advice. Instead, make suggestions and empower them to make the final decision for themselves.

Avoid demands

  • Instead of: “Why?” start questions with “What makes you feel that…?"

You don't want to sound like your client's three-year-old, right? "Why" can be a demanding way to get to the bottom of objections.

Be precise

  • Instead of “Always,” say “often”
  • Instead of “Never,” say “generally not”

For the amount of times you hear "always" and "never," you'd think we lived in a black and white universe. In reality, almost nothing happens "always" or "never." Be more accurate in your language.

Talk about solutions, instead of issues

  • Instead of “Your problem,” say “your situation”

Bottom line: "Problem" is problematic. Whether or not your client sees the situation as a problem, you don't want to acknowledge it in that way.

Don't play the blame game

  • Instead of “You," say "I"
  • Instead of "fault" be ready to apologize

Talking about your reactions puts other people at ease. It also helps dissipate illusions that you are blaming others, and shows that you can take responsibility for your actions.

Even if you're not truly responsible for a given situation, you can still say you're sorry it happened, or that you're sorry someone feels a certain way.

Talk about what you will do and when

  • Instead of “I’ll try,” say: “I will,” or “I can”
  • Instead of "A.S.A.P," refer to specific times.

Clients are more willing to trust you if you give them specific, realistic timetables for accomplishing tasks. And after all, how many things are actually taken care of "as soon as possible"?

Seek clarity without talking down to clients

  • Instead of "Do you hear me?" say "Was I being clear?"
  • Instead of "You’re confused," say "I sense some confusion here”
  • Instead of "You don’t understand," say “I’d like to make sure everyone is clear on this”

Not everyone speaks Realestatese. Agents tend to throw around a lot of jargon. And that's before you add in the confusion that inevitably bubbles up during high-stress financial situations. The last thing you want to do when clients are puzzled is make them feel like it's their fault.

Avoid title trouble

  • Instead of "Mister," say "Sir"

When "Mister" is not followed up with a surname, it's seen as rude. Also, be wary of using "ma'am" or "miss," as these references can have unfortunate or inappropriate meanings across different cultures. The best option is to refer to clients using their names, and always take a moment to ask and make a note of the way in which people prefer to be referred.

Watch the add-ons

  • Instead of "Of course," just say "Yes"

Many people hear "of course" as immediately followed by a "…you dummy." Some things that may sound obvious to you are not to others, and you don't gain anything from making people feel like they should have already known something. Same thing with adding an "Okay?" onto the end of a declarative sentence; just skip it. Unless you're delivering awesome but unexpected news, simply say "yes."

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