The Care and Maintenance of Master/slave Relationships

Introduction

Thanks to Viktor & DsF for inviting us

Feel free to ask questions

  • Hoping for lots of audience participation
  • Really should be a panel discussion

My opinions only, they do not reflect on the group

  • This week’s opinions

catherine has not been given an assigned role, but she has been told she may interject her thoughts and comments freely, as well as answer questions.

About the topic

We are not therapists

Not relationship counselors

Perception that D/s relationships tend to be short-lived

  • Might be true but
  • So are most vanilla relationships
  • Doesn’t have to be that way

About us:

Names

Affiliations

  • DsF
  • MAsT
  • TES
  • LSM
  • NYFssF
  • D/s Brunch Bunch

How we met

Time together

  • Transition from internet to real life
  • Club-going
  • Change of focus to D/s and structure rather than S&M and play

Then married

  • Issues surrounding getting married
  • Sir Stephen
  • catherine

What contributes to longevity in a relationship?

First and foremost – longevity needs to be a stated and agreed upon goal

  • Structure time and activities to achieve this goal

Communication

  • Initial D/s negotiation
  • Rules
  • Rituals
  • Protocols
  • Create space for on-going communication
  • Example: weekly chats

Caring

  • Not necessarily romantic love
  • Care of and for property
  • Many ways to show caring:

Show appreciation for things well done as well as

Correction for things done poorly

Punishment for wrong-doing

  • Care of and for Owner
  • Give good service, whatever form the service takes:

Sexual

Bottoming

Food preparation

Bookkeeping

Chauffeuring

  • Take your reward from the service, not the praise, there should be no expectation of praise.

Attention to the critical M/s elements of the relationship

  • Such as:
  • Structure
  • Dominance and submission
  • S&M play

S&M in our relationship

Humiliation

Face slapping

Needle play

Etc.

  • Takes work:
  • Keep the focus on them, keep them invigorated

We regularly review rituals, rules and protocols to see if they are still fulfilling their purpose and giving us gratification. If not, we revise, add and delete.

  • Remain creative
  • Remain flexible

Impediments to longevity

Failures in the above

Over-investing in our lifestyle roles

  • Masters are no less Masterful for listening to their slaves
  • slaves are no less submissive for letting their needs be known
  • However, do not relinquish your role – Masters want slave, slaves want Masters – Masters still make the final decisions – slaves gratification should come from the attention the Master pays in listening and considering their needs – not in acquiescing to them.

Questions