Forgive? Why Me? Matthew 18:21-35

“Forgive? Why Me? Matthew 18:21-35

Diane Mix Sermon: March 15, 2015

In one of his books, Ernest Hemingway writes about a young man who wrongs his father…and runs away from home to the city of Madrid.

Out of great love for his son, the father takes out an ad in a Madrid newspaper, “Paco, meet me at Hotel Montana 12 noon Tuesday. All is forgiven. Papa.”

Paco is a common boys name in Spain….when the father arrived at the hotel, he found eight hundred young men named Paco….all waiting for their fathers…aching to be forgiven for the wrongs they had done.

There is a universal longing…a hunger in every human soul to hear those words: “I forgive you.”

But to forgive – that’s way harder. As theologian William Willimon writes: “the human animal is not supposed to be good at forgiveness. Forgiveness is not an innate, natural human emotion. What is innate is vengeance, retribution and violence. It is natural for the human animal to defend itself, to snarl and crouch into a defensive position when attacked, to howl when wronged, to bite back when bitten. Forgiveness is not natural. It is not a universal virtue.” (Pulpit Resource. Vol 24, No3, Year 1)

But Jesus tells us we must forgive when we feel we have been used and abused and treated when we have been hurt by words said or unsaid…actions taken or left undone.

We need to forgive the neighbor whose trash heap totally wrecks my window view.

The friend who always misses appoitments…

The parent who messed-up my life…the sibling who blames me…the boss who has it in for me….

We need to forgive ourselves…for that we have done to another.

Jesus tells us we must forgive. How many times, Lord?

“Is seven times enough?,” Peter asks. “No, says Jesus. Not seven times or even seventy seven times. Other Greek translations say seventy times seven, or 490 times.

Of course, Jesus isn’t talking about a literal number here. He is talking about forgiving countless times. As many times as you have been forgiven…so must we forgive.

WHY? We ask??? WHY do I always have to be the one to forgive?? Jesus tells the parable: The king loaned his servant money, and then decided to call in the loan.

It was an incredible debt – 10,000 talents….let’s say about 12 million dollars today. For a first century laborer, of course, the loan would be impossible to pay.

The king orders the servant and his family sold into slavery. But the servant begs for mercy…he PLEADS for his life.

And for some strange, who would ever think it reason…the king relents. The king goes WAY beyond decreasing the debt or giving the servant time to pay it off.

No, the king totally forgives the debt….cancels it completely. The servant and his family are completey free to go.

So, what does the servant do? HE goes out and finds another servant…one who owes HIM money….the equivalent today of about $1.80….grabs him by the throat and demands, “pay me what you owe!” and throws him into prison.

In short the king hears about all this.

The king, of course, is God, who says, in effect, since I have forgiven you all your debts…your sins…transgressions and wayward ways…..How can you not forgive the other?

Why should I….we….always be the ones to forgive? Why should it always be me who has to let MY resentment go…bite the bullet and forgive the other?

We forgive NOT because of who they are or what they have done to us. We forgive because of who God is, and all that God has done for us. We are called to offer the other God’s Grace.

And let’s be clear, refusing to forgive the other is like drinking poison and expecting THE OTHER to die. Refusing to forgive is carrying around poison in your own gut.

Going back to Hemingway’s story about the father taking out a newspaper ad addressed to his son, Paco. “Paco, meet me at Hotel Montana, 12 noon Tuesday. All is forgiven, Papa.”

“Papa” needed to let go of his bitterness or resentment or anger in whatever it was that broke relationship with his son. He needed to forgive in order to rebuild his relationship with his son.

Wouldn’t we all do the same? Or not. Sometimes the wounds are too deep…the memories too fresh to allow ourselves to forgive, right now.

Those who come to me who have been abused or wounded horribly….in the marathon bombing….will those victims ever get to forgiveness for Tzarnev?

I thought about that this week as I read the victims testimony. One woman said she had lived in fear of Tzarnev since the bombing, but facing him in the courtroom she realized she had let the fear go, and she longer felt a victim.

The poison she had swallowed was no longer killing her.

It’s said that when Leonardo da Vinci was painting the masterpiece “the Last Supper,” he became angry with a man who was sitting for him….I don’t know, maybe the man was squirming around and da Vinci couldn’t accurately see his model’s face.

The great painter dismissed the man and went back to work. He tried to paint the face of Jesus.

He couldn’t do it. There was so much anger and hostility inside him….. da Vinci put down his brushes, went outside, found the man and asked his forgiveness.

Only then did he have the calm within to paint the face of his Lord.

watching someone die.) Up until now, I have been truly scared of you and because of this, fearful of everything else people might be capable of.

But today, all that changed. Because this afternoon, I got to walk into a courtroom and take my place at the witness stand, just a few feet away from where you were sitting. (I was WALKING. Did you get that?) And today I explained all the horrific details, of how you changed my life, to the people that literally hold YOURS in their hands. That's a little scary right? And this afternoon before going in, I'm not going to lie..my palms were sweaty. And sitting up there talking to the prosecution did make me cry. But today, do you know what else happened? TODAY...I looked at you right in the face....and realized I wasn't afraid anymore. And today I realized that sitting across from you was somehow the crazy kind of step forward that I needed all along.

And I think that's the ironic thing that happens when someone intends something for evil. Because somehow, some way, it always ends up good. But you are a coward. A little boy who wouldn't even look me in the eyes to see that. Because you can't handle the fact that what you tried to destroy, you only made stronger. And if your eyes would've met mine for just one second, you would've also seen that what you "blew up" really did BLOW UP. Because now you have given me (and the other survivors) a tremendous platform to help others, and essentially do our parts in changing the world for the better.

So yes...you did take a part of me. Congratulations you now have a leg up...literally. But in so many ways, you saved my life. Because now, I am so much more appreciative of every new day I am given. And now, I get to hug my son even tighter than before, blessed that he is THRIVING, despite everything that has happened.

So now...while you are sitting in solitary confinement, (awaiting the verdict on your life), I will be actually ENJOYING everything this beautiful world has to offer. And guess what else? I will do so without fear....of YOU. Because now to me you're a nobody, and it is official that you have lost. So man that really sucks for you bro. I truly hope it was worth it.

Sincerely,