ARIZONA JOEHOBART
ALVINGOGO, the robot
POINDEXTER, inventor
PROPS: table, tray, (2) bowls, (2) spoons, hammer, large eggshell, rubber ball, small bookcase with books on top shelf, small couch, trash can full of paper trash
ARIZONA JOE: LOVE IS NOT PROUD
(Opening Scene: ALVIN is at home. JOE is knocking on his door with GOGO, the robot.)
JOE: It’s me, Alvin, Arizona Joe. I have Gogo with me.
ALVIN: (opening the door) Oh, good, Joe. Let’s bring that robot inside.
(JOE and GOGO ENTER)
ALVIN: You sure didn’t need him for very long, did you?
JOE: Nope. I’m in the business of rescuing people. The problem is the Gogo just doesn’t care about the people who need to be rescued. He is good for house cleaning though. Jane used him to help her clean the house quite a bit yesterday.
ALVIN: Really? That’s great! I can use some housecleaning help around here also.
JOE: Good. By the way, how come Poindexter told me to bring him here to you?
ALVIN: Because Poindexter is letting me borrow Gogo for the school science fair.
JOE: Oh. Well, see you later, Alvin.
ALVIN: Bye, Joe.
(JOE EXITS)
ALVIN: (to himself) Gogo may not care about others, but he sure can do a lot of really cool things. Gogo, wash the dishes.
(GOGO grabs a few dishes and EXITS. SOUND EFFECT: sink water running for a few seconds.)
ALVIN: I just can’t wait for the science fair! Last year, some kid won with a dumb model rocket, but this year the judges are going to award me first place for Gogo, the amazing robot!
(HOBART knocks and ALVIN opens the door. HOBART ENTERS.)
ALVIN: Hobart, what a nice surprise. What brings you here to my house today?
HOBART: I brought my math homework. I was having some trouble and I figured you could probably help me out, Alvin.
ALVIN: Oh, I’m sure I can. And while we’re busy with this homework, I’ll have Gogo make us some lunch. What would you like to eat?
HOBART: Chicken soup would be nice.
ALVIN: (calling) Gogo, fix us some chicken soup. Now let’s take a look and see where you’re have some difficulty.
(GOGO ENTERS with two bowls, a large eggshell in one, and a rubber ball in the other, a hammer, and two spoons, all on a tray)
GOGO: All dishes have been cleaned. Here is your lunch (handing tray to HOBART, who takes it).
HOBART: Thank you, Gogo. What an awesome invention. Gogo is going to win this year’s science fair for sure.
ALVIN: Yeah! When the judges see him in action, they will all award me first place.
(choking on his soup, HOBART pulls out the large eggshell)
HOBART: I didn’t know Gogo made mistakes like that!
ALVIN: Uh, I didn’t know Gogo made mistakes like that either! I thought he was perfect.
HOBART: Then what do you call this?
(HOBART pulls a rubber ball out of ALVIN’S soup bowl and hands it to him)
ALVIN: (shocked, looking at the ball) I guess Gogo DOES make mistakes, at least little mistakes.
(HOBART picks up the hammer like he just pulled it out of his soup bowl)
HOBART: (showing the hammer) Gogo makes BIG mistakes.
ALVIN: But I’m sure all he needs is a minor adjustment. Then Gogo will be as good as new again. Now where is my screwdriver?
HOBART: Well I certainly hope so. Look . . . on the couch.
(HOBART goes over to the wastebasket on the couch and picks it up to show everyone. Then he puts the basket on the floor where it belongs.)
HOBART: I’ll just bet you asked Gogo to take out the trash today, didn’t you?
ALVIN: (ignoring the comment, he looks on the couch where the wastebasket was) Aha! There’s my screwdriver. Gogo! Come here.
(GOGO comes)
ALVIN: Gogo, you’ve been making mistakes and I need to make a minor adjustment on you.
GOGO: No minor adjustments are necessary. Gogo is perfect.
(GOGO EXITS)
HOBART: How do you like that? Gogo won’t even let you fix him. What are you going to do about the science fair, Alvin?
ALVIN: It’s too late to change my plans, Hobart. I think Gogo will be okay for now.
HOBART: What do you mean you think he will be okay? You can’t possibly enter him in the science fair like this, can you? What if he makes another big mistake? What if he dumps a full trash on one of the judges?
ALVIN: You don’t understand, Hobart; Gogo is my best chance to finally win the science fair. I want people to think I’m great in science . . . I want people to say, “Alvin is a genius!”
HOBART: But Gogo isn’t even your invention. You’re just borrowing him from Poindexter. You’re just a big show-off, Alvin, a big show-off. I hope you know what you’re doing.
ALVIN: I’m sure Gogo will be just fine, Hobart.
HOBART: Let’s test him a little bit. Hey, Gogo; clean this room.
(GOGO grabs a vacuum and begins to vacuum the floor. SOUND EFFECT: vacuuming sound for a few seconds)
ALVIN: See! Gogo did just fine!
(GOGO dumps the trash from the trash can on top of the couch)
ALVIN: Oh, no! More mistakes! Come here, Gogo. I just want to make a minor adjustment on you.
GOGO: No minor adjustments. No minor adjustments. Gogo makes no mistakes. Gogo makes no mistakes.
(GOGO knocks over some books from the bookcase)
ALVIN: What can we do?
HOBART: Help! Help!
(JOE opens the door)
JOE: Did someone call for help?
HOBART: YES!
JOE: I was just in the neighborhood rescuing a kitty cat that got herself stuck high up in a tree. What can I do for you two?
ALVIN: Save us from Gogo, the crazy robot! He’s out of control!
JOE: I know just what to do. Jane showed me this trick one time.
(JOE goes behind GOGO and pulls out the batteries, causing the robot to go limp and fall. Just then, POINDEXTER ENTERS and walks through the open door.)
POINDEXTER: What’s going on around here?
HOBART: Arizona Joe just saved us from your robot, Poindexter.
ALVIN: Yeah! He was really starting to mess up my house.
POINDEXTER: Oh well, I guess you can’t enter him in the science fair after all, Alvin.
ALVIN: No, I suppose I can’t now. It looks like somebody else is going to win again this year.
POINDEXTER: You know what, Alvin? My science fair project isn’t finished yet. Maybe you could be my partner and we could enter the science fair together. With your help, I know we could win!
ALVIN: That sounds good to me, Poindexter. What’s your project?
POINDEXTER: I’ve been working on a pen that can write upside down. You just squeeze here on the sides and the ink flows out . . . (he demonstrates with a pen)
ALVIN: Oh, really? Let’s see.
POINDEXTER: I’ll show you. Like this . . .
THE END