“How Do WeLove”

Loving past our comfort for the sake of love

Matthew 1:18:25

JOKE:

Billy, 4, said,
"When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth."
Bobby, 7, says
Love is what's in the room at Christmas, if you stop opening presents and listen."
Nikka, 6, says,
"If you want to learn to love better, you should start with someone you hate."
Tommy, 6, says,
"Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well."
Cindy, 8, says,
"During my piano recital, I was on a stage, and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me, and I saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. And I wasn't scared anymore."
Jessica, 8, says,
"You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot."

VIDEOS

Here are a few of our members talking about love.

In the Charlie Brown Christmas special, Charlie Brown is so frustrated, he yells,“Isn’t there anyone who knows what Christmas is all about?”To answer, Charlie’s friend Linus steps out onto the auditorium stage and recites the Christmas story straight from the Gospel of Luke.

But that is not all of the Christmas story, is it? How about all the things God is doing before the night of Jesus’ birth?

WHO WAS JOSEPH

Who was Joseph?

He doesn’t play much of a part in Jesus’ life as far as the Bible depicts him.

In fact Joseph doesn’t say anything.

I never thought about this before, but Joseph doesn’t say a single word in the Gospels.

He listens and does what God asks of him.

We might assume his words are recorded, because we can

imaginetheconversations he had with Mary, and the AngelGabriel.

We can “hear” him talking to the innkeeper.

We can visualize him teaching Jesus about carpentry…but

then he fades from the scene.

WE KNOW SOMETHING REALLY IMPORTANT

9Her husband Joseph, being a righteous man and unwilling to expose her to public disgrace, planned to dismiss her quietly.

He was a righteous man

Let’s just state the obvious,

he was the man who God chose to raise up Jesus.

Let’s say that God approved of him.

God wasn’t giving that calling to anyone.

WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO BE A RIGHTEOUS MAN?

Doing all the right things

Well, he was a devoutJew.

He reveredGod by following the Mosaic

law -- Ten Commandments - honoringGod, honoring his family and

honoring his neighbors.

He abided the best he could by followingtherules set out in Levitical rules

He was a carpenter so he was establishedin his work.

PREPARED TO BE THE HUSBAND

He was prepared to be the husband he was expected to be in his culture.

His culture commanded the husband to be the spiritual and legal head of thehouse.

He was responsible for feeding, sheltering and protecting the family.

HONORED HI PARENTS

Children were instructed early to honor their parents.

A Jewish family lived by very strict moral, social and religious rules.

Parents, unmarried children, and a married son and spouse would often all liveunder one roof.

He was obedient to God and God’s law.

After Mary became his wife, he would continue that righteous life by

providing for Mary and his family.

SO HE LIVED RIGHT

So he lived right -- he served God by living the way of God’s law as a

Jewish man should. He served and lived right by God. He showed his love for God.

We might say that this was his spirituality. .

DID YOU KNOW FEMININE AND MASCULINE/WOMEN AND MEN’S SPIRITUALITY ARE DIFFERENT

You know that is how men view their own spirituality.

Women’s spirituality is morerelational and they seek God in different ways than men.

Men today are not much different than Joseph.

They find that their daily[1]work[2] provides them fulfillment and purpose in their life in God.

Their work activity spills[3]over[4]into[5] their service in the church.

Men’s doing for God defines their relationship with God.

They will find God in their service -- like setting up tables and chairs, working outside,keeping the books, vacuuming, fixing things -- acts of service to God.

They find their spirituality in the way they provide for and protect their family.

Men just want to do the right thing.

Men you can relate to Joseph here.

But there is more to it.

See the scripture says that:

PEERING INTO A DEEPER SPIRITUALITY - CORE OF HIS LIFE

PEERED RIGHT INTO HIS HEART

He was a righteous man and…he was unwilling to expose her to public disgrace.

The scripture doesn’t say, He was a righteous man - therefore

That makes a difference to me how about to you

We can know a lot of people who might be doing all the right things

and follow all the rules but their hearts are not right with God.

No, Joseph isn’t like that.

UNWILLING TO DISGRACE

He is unwilling to disgrace her.

VERSE 19: and unwilling to expose her to public disgrace, planned

to dismiss her quietly

He didn’t want to expose her to public disgrace

HE DID NOT WANT TO REMOVE HER FROM GRACE

That is exactly what that means -- to be publicly disgraced would

Essentially mean to be removed by grace.

REMOVED FROM COMMUNITY -- REMOVED FROM HER LIFE IN GOD

This is adultery -- she is betrothed -- that means she is married and

the marriage hasn’t been consummated yet.

But in all evidence, they are married.

This is a big deal.

The betrothal lasts a year and in itself and was a binding obligation in which a man paid the woman’s dowry and then spent a year preparing her house.

A woman who separated from her fiancé during their betrothal would

be considered divorced.

STONED TO DEATH

Her position in Jewish life would hang in a strange limbo -- for the status of a woman was exclusively defined by her relationship with a man.

A woman divorced because of adultery would be in imminent physical danger; the religious congregation and leaders could actually choose to have her stoned for her behavior.

BANISHMENT WORSE THAN DEATH

I believe even worse than death could be her banishment from her life

in God. She would be banished from her community -- that is her life

in God. She would be cast out in the world of the Gentiles. A life of

people who worshiped any kind of god that came along. She would

be living among people whose values were far from the values she

was living in.

HAD A RIGHT TO DO IT VALUE SYSTEM - CALLED INTO QUESTION

He had every right. She was pregnant and not to him.

How betrayed he must have been. He would have had every right to disgrace her.

After all he was a righteous man and tried to follow the law to a tee.

You know Joseph and Mary’s marriage was an arranged marriage.

That is how they did it then and in the Middle East cultures today it is

still true. In some arrangements, money, power and success are the

guiding principles in arrangements but

for the Jewish people it was. about corevalues. What is it that the families valued? They believedthat to begin the marriage with the same value system was more important and would carry the marriage. It was based on the couple living in their faith and growing in their love for each other.

They saw this arrangement having the ability to carry the couple farther thanany outward attraction ever could. So for Joseph, looking at Mary it

would be evident they did not have the same value system if he found

her with another man’s child.

WRITE HER OFF – OUR CULTURE IS THE SAME – ESTRANGED FROM THEIR FAMILIES

How easy it would have been for him to write her off -- to turn her

away -- to turn her over to the church authorities.

How much is that true of our culture today -- ready to write off anyone

for an offense? So many people estranged from their families --

“I remember when he or she did or said this to me how many years

ago.” “I just can’t forgive him of that.”

“Nope, no grace here.”

JOKE

A Sunday School was putting on a Christmas pageant which included the story of Mary and Joseph coming to the inn. One boy wanted so very much to be Joseph, but when the parts were handed out, a boy he didn’t like was given that part, and he was assigned to be the innkeeper instead.

He was pretty upset about this but he didn’t say anything to the director.During all the rehearsals he thought what he might do the night of performance to get even with this rival who got to be Joseph. Finally,the night of the performance, Mary and Joseph came walking across the stage. They knocked on the door of the inn, and the inn-keeperopened the door and asked them gruffly what they wanted. Joseph answered, "We’d like to have a room for the night.

“Suddenly the inn-keeper threw the door open wide and said,

"Great, come on in and I’ll give you the best room in the house!"

For[6] a few seconds poor little Joseph didn’t know what to do.

Thinking quickly on his feet, he looked inside the door past the inn-keeper then said,

"No wife of mine is going to stay in dump like this.

Come on, Mary, let’s go to the barn."

And once again the play was back on track!

This boy was cast the right way. He wanted revenge.

HAVE YOU EVER FELT THAT WAY? WANTING REVENGE

Maybe some of you might be thinking how easy it wasn’t. I get that.

How wounded he might have felt? How betrayed! That is a strong

emotion. How angry. A multitude of emotions might have welled up

inside of him but we don’t see it and we don’t hear it.

BUT GRACE SEEMS TO COME EASY FOR JOSEPH

Joseph might have felt that way but he doesn’t, he loves her.

He does not love what she does but he loves her and so he does the right thing because he loves God.

GOD ASKS FOR MORE

Now people this is the tough place. God wants him to stay with her because God has a plan bigger than we know.

WOW!

Have any of you, men and women had to extend grace that wide and that loving.

Has God ever called any of you into that place - maybe not through a dream but through the movement of the Holy Spirit?

God asks Joseph to love beyond his comfort.

He had to step out of his own understanding of grace.

He has already extended grace. Isn’t that enough!

ILLUSTRATION

I remember in a Pittsburgh Paper there was a huge picture of a mother in a courtroom.

Her son and a friend, students at Wheeling Jesuit University, were attacked and murder while away at Wheeling Jesuit University (about one hour from Pittsburgh). The photo depicted on the front page of the paper was of a woman who stood before the judge on sentencing day asking for grace for this man. She stated she had already forgiven him.

Thank God we do not have a story like that but many of us might have had an opportunity to love outside of our place of comfort.

JOSEPH COULD HAVE LET IT GO

He was not only righteous and loving but he was also obedient.

He did not have to do it and everyone would have told him, “Oh yes, you are a loving man.”

He could have ignored the dream.

He could have decided this is too much for me to be asked.

But

He was obedient to God’s message directed to him.

He stands there and he chooses his own way of grace or God’s way.

He might have been afraid but he chooses to trust.

WE ARE TO OBEY THE HOLY SPIRIT

We choose to trust the movement of the Holy Spirit.

We are obedient too when we follow the leading and calling of the Holy Spirit

Our obedience to the Holy Spirit

I think Grace is the greatest act of love that we can ever give to someone.

The Holy Spirit compels us and calls us or nudges whatever term that fits your own experience.

When we obey:

It takes us out of our ego and our pride and our need to be right and move into a place where God can do so much with us and with our lives.

Grace moves mountains. Grace does the impossible.

Grace rises up and extends our lives into a placeofbeauty.

We step out of ourselvesinto the spirit of God and into the image and likeness of Christ.

THIS IS A HUGE PART OF THE CHRISTMAS STORY

We miss this in the telling of the Christmas story.

It is so important part of the life that we are living now.

This one act of grace changes the world forever. It is this righteous, gracious loving man who raises Jesus, the one who is the righteous, loving grace of God. The one who we follow.

WE CAN'T DENY THE TRUTH THAT WE GET FROM THESE STORIES

THE truth that sheds light on grace and we are compelled to follow.

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