Writing the Comparative Essay

WHAP Name: ______

E. Napp Date: ______

First: A Message from the College Board

The comparative essay focuses on developments across at least _____ regions or societies. It relates to one of the five major ______in the course, such as state building, interactions between or among cultures, or economic systems.

Comparative questions always require an ______of the reasons for the identified similarities and differences. As in the previous continuity and change over time essay, students _____ have the opportunity to choose different cases for comparisons from among several options. And, also as in both of the previous essays, a variety of the historical thinking skills (such as argumentation, causation, and ______) are evaluated along with comparison.

Definition: Comparative

Involving the systematic observation of the ______and/or dissimilarities between two or more subjects of study

The Rubric:

The Basic Core:

1.  Has Acceptable ______

[1 Point]

(Addresses comparison of the issues or themes specified.)

2.  Addresses _____ parts of the question, though not necessarily evenly or thoroughly.

[2 Points but Partial Credit May Be Given]

3.  Substantiates thesis with appropriate historical ______.

[2 Points but Partial Credit May Be Given]

4.  Makes at least ______relevant, direct comparison between/among societies.

[1 Point]

5.  Analyzes at least one reason for a similarity or difference identified in a direct ______.

[1 Point]

Expanded Core:

The basic score of 7 must be ______before a student can earn expanded core points.

[2 Additional Points Possible]

Sample Question:

Analyze similarities and differences in techniques of imperial administration in TWO of the following empires.

• Han China (206 B.C.E.–220 C.E.)

• Mauryan/Gupta India (320 B.C.E.–550 C.E.)

• Imperial Rome (31 B.C.E.–476 C.E.)

What Good Responses Should Include:

[From the College Board]

1.  A good response would analyze ______similarities and differences in techniques of imperial administration in two of the stipulated empires:

Han China (206 B.C.E. to 220 C.E.)

Mauryan/Gupta India (320 B.C.E. to

550 C.E.), Imperial Rome (31 B.C.E. to 476 C.E.)

2.  Because the central task in this question is comparative and asks for both similarities and differences, acceptable thesis statements also need to be comparative, ______at least one similarity and at least one difference.

3.  Acceptable thesis statements also need to be ______, not simply restatements of the question or vague statements such as “there were more similarities than differences.” They also need to be relevant to the time period.

4.  A good response provides ______similarities and differences, substantiated by specific pieces of evidence from within the time period. Important similarities include centralized governments, elaborate legal systems, administrative bureaucracies, the promotion of trade and food production, road-building, larger armies, and expanded systems of taxation.

5.  Important distinctions include: For Han China: a bureaucracy selected through a civil service examination; ______ideology about hierarchies; the idea of the Mandate of Heaven; regular diplomacy with peoples beyond their borders.

6.  For Rome: a uniform ______code; the promotion of a ruler cult, and later of Christianity; great concern with control of ocean-borne trade that brought in food. For India: the Mauryan emperor Ashoka’s acceptance of ______, which enhanced his position; public welfare projects paid for by the emperor; the more ______government of the Guptas.

7.  Good essays do ______include evidence that is outside the time period or any of the stipulated empires, for example, discussion of the Roman Republic, Qin dynasty, Genghis Khan, Mansa Musa, or Akbar.

8.  A good response could include information on technology, military history, religion, gender, disease, or other topics, but then needs to ____ these to techniques of imperial administration, not simply discuss everything the student knows about the empires.

9.  For example, a good essay would say, “Both the Maurya/Gupta and the Romans used their armies to maintain control within their borders and to attack neighboring states.” The statement “Both the Maurya/Gupta and the Romans had large armies and expanded their borders,” while true, does not relate these developments to the topic of the question, techniques of ______administration.

10.  Students should be told to make their connections ______, because readers will not infer that a particular essay demonstrates content knowledge that is not present in the plain language of the student response.

11.  Students should be discouraged from constructing comparison questions by discussing one region as a ______and then the other region as a block, loosely linked by a transitional sentence. That sentence might be the only comparison in the student’s response, and if it is incorrect, the student is unable to earn any points for comparison, analysis, or addressing the question.

12.  Students should be discouraged from writing to a pre-existing ______such as political, economic, social/cultural or PERSIA (Political, Economic, Religious, Social, Intellectual, Artistic). Students need to respond to the question asked — which, in this case, is political.

13.  A good response provides analysis and uses this analysis as an explanation of a reason for a similarity or difference between techniques of imperial administration for the two empires. It thus links the ______thinking skills of comparison and causation, and does not simply provide a discussion of causation that involves only one of the empires.

14.  For example, a discussion of why the Roman Empire fell that does not link or compare this to why the other chosen empire fell is _____ appropriate analysis for this question. A strong essay would go beyond the minimum on any of the core points. It could relate the techniques of imperial administration to larger global processes or apply relevant knowledge of other world regions, such as noting the ways in which invasions by pastoral nomads from central Asia put pressure on the administration of each of the three empires.

15.  It could consistently analyze cause and effect for the noted similarities and differences, such as pointing out that the religious toleration of both the Gupta emperors and (most of) the Roman emperors ______loyalty to the empire and with it more regular payment of taxes.

16.  It could recognize nuance within empires, for example by pointing out that the techniques of Roman imperial administration were different in the city of Rome from those in the outlying provinces. It could discuss change over time, for example by discussing ______methods of imperial administration as the empires began to decline because of epidemic diseases, environmental damage, and external problems.

Time to Practice:

2011 Comparative Essay from the World History AP:

Analyze similarities and differences in the rise of TWO of the following empires.

A West African Sudanic empire (Mali OR Ghana OR Songhay)

The Aztec Empire

The Mongol Empire

First Step: Analysis of Directions

Analysis of: ______

Empires for Comparison: ______

Time Period: ______

Brainstorm Facts about the Rise of the Empires:

Second Step:

Identify Similarities:

Indentify Differences:

Third Step:

Write a Valid Thesis Statement.

Another Practice:

2009 Comparative Essay from the World History AP

For the period from 1500 to 1830, compare North American racial ideologies and their effects on society with Latin American/Caribbean racial ideologies and their effects on society.

First Step: Analysis of Directions

Analysis of: ______

Regions for Comparison: ______

Time Period: ______

Brainstorm Facts about Regions and Racial Ideologies an Effects:

Second Step:

Identify Similarities:

Indentify Differences:

Third Step:

Write a Valid Thesis Statement.

Practice Writing the Essay:

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