Holding individual consultation meetings

This section will be handled by named managers and, if needed, an hour’s 1:1 coaching session from an HRCP or a member of CL&D can be provided. Call Jill Meighan on x5046if required.

Please read the Kubler-Ross Change Curve(see useful articles on Leading Organisational Change intranet page). This describes the emotions that people will go through before they can come to acceptance of the situation and shows the type of leadership behaviours people may require from you at each stage.

Practicalities

  • Book a private room for half an hour for your meeting. Your message may well be over in 5 minutes, but the individual may need time to absorb this, ask questions and may become emotional – either angry or upset. This time will allow them this time, before they have to leave and perhaps face others. Have tissues and drinking water available.
  • Managing the practicalities – does the individual have to go back to work? Do they need to face the team to pick up their jacket / bag? Can they go home early? If so, does anyone need to look after their work?
  • Consider the time of day for your meeting – avoid the end of the day when time might be needed to absorb the message before meeting family members, and avoid Fridays when further questions might need to be answered which may be difficult over a weekend.

Tips on how to deliver the message;

  • Make sure you know and have practised your script. Avoid reading this so you can maintain good eye-contact with the individual. This may be as serious as bereavement for impacted individuals, so be calm, and take your time. Breathing exercises may help calm nerves.
  • Get straight to the point avoiding usual rapport-building comments about travel / family / weather. This is not a time for humour or laughter.
  • Explain that you will be following some written guidance (the script) so you are able to ensure consistency and clarity in your message.
  • Anticipate different ways that the individual might respond, and prepare how you might react or respond in turn. Despite the fact that the potential redundancy is not personal, the individually may take it personally. You have to be calm and clear about your messages, so you do not in turn take their comments or reactions personally.
  • Common questions / assertions you may have to deal with;
  • ‘Why me?’ – ensure you have the reasons or selection criteria prepared for each individual.
  • ‘What about others in the team? What’s happening to them?’ – This is confidential to them until everyone has been informed.
  • ‘What can I do to alter the decision?’ – Do not have a debate. Say “I know this is difficult, but the decision has been made.”
  • ‘I’ve been unfairly treated / selected.’ - Provide details of the appeal process.
  • Ensure you provide the individual with link on the intranet to Sources of Support.

Dealing with specific emotions and reactions

  • You may encounter a combination of any of these emotions / reactions;
  • Shock, leading to denial that this is really happening. “You’re joking. This can’t be happening to me, I’m the best at....who’s going to do my work?....”
  • Anger, against you or the University. “This is the last straw, you’ve treated me appallingly....after all the work that I’ve put in over the years... ”
  • Blame-shifting, against you or others in the team. “This is your fault,..... if you managed things differently.....if others in the team pulled their weight....”
  • Sadness and crying. Crying may also come from shock or anger. This may happen towards the end of the meeting as the message starts to get taken in, or a number of times during your discussion.
  • Disclosure of personal problems. “This can’t happen to me because....my partner has just been made redundant....my father’s very ill.....I’ve had a letter from the bank about.....my son’s going to university.....I’ve broken up with my partner....”
  • Dealing with these emotions / reactions;
  • How you react to their reaction is critical. In essence, listen, but stay on the point and avoid getting side-tracked. Stay calm and give them time to digest the message. Treat them with dignity and sensitivity, maintain eye contact and call them by name.
  • Avoid taking this personally, the person is upset by the situation and not by you, despite what you are seeing and hearing. In the moment they may need someone to blame, which is the ‘denial’. Allow them to ‘run out of steam’ if they are venting their emotions.
  • Show concern for their issues, but avoid getting drawn into agreeing or arguing with them.
  • Summarise; “I understand from what you’ve said that.....”
  • Name the emotions they are showing; “I can see that you are very angry/upset/sad/worried....” If said with genuine concern, this will help them to give their reasons, work through these emotions and move on to hearing what will happen next. Follow the 6A’s model (see useful articles) when giving a difficult message.
  • Don’t fill the silence. You may need to, however, occasionally restate the message until it has been really heard. “I understand this may be difficult for you to take in...”
  • It’s hard not to be affected if someone is visibly upset, but don’t get embarrassed, or distressed yourself, as they will benefit from security and stability from you during the meeting. Speak quietly, using softer tones, and lean forward slightly. Take a break if they cannot stop crying or become agitated.
  • Avoid trying to make things ‘better’. People will not feel better if you respond by saying; “This must be awful for you.” “I know how you must be feeling.”” The whole University is struggling.” “I feel the same, I’m covered by this as well.”
  • In some circumstances, people may demonstrate the flight or fight response. If they try to leave, do not touch them, simply say “Please stay until I’ve covered all of the information for you.” If they persist, let them go, and re-arrange. If they become aggressive, shouting or threatening; maintain eye contact and use their name “(Their name) I understand you are angry right now.” Remain calm, listen, and if they stand, you should also do so, however, avoid leaning towards or away from them. If you have concerns for your own safety, take a break. “I feel it’s appropriate for us to stop just now and reconvene later.”
  • Don’t make reactions worse by discussing performance, age, gender, marital status, income, seniority, race, ethnic background.
  • Ensure you end the meeting with clarity around the next steps.
  • In extreme circumstances, if you have real concerns about their emotional state contact Care First on 0800-174-319.