5 THINGS TO DO BEFORE YOU EVEN THINK ABOUT GETTING A DIVORCE
1. Talk to a Marriage Counselor or other professional who may be able to help save your marriage.
Even if you don’t think there’s hope for the marriage, “divorce counseling” can help you discover what went wrong, how to cope, and how to pick up the pieces and go on. Don’t wait for your spouse to participate. If you don’t know how to find a qualified counselor, our firm will be glad to recommend someone. Your employment, social or religious contacts might also recommend someone.
2. Talk to an attorney before you do anything.
Even if you don’t end up hiring an attorney to handle your separation or divorce, you would be well advised to get as much information as you can before you even discuss divorce with your spouse. There’s a lot to know about divorce and the laws can be complex and even the simplest situation can be confusing to someone already in distress. Actions you take now may very well affect the outcome of your divorce and you need to understand ahead of time your options.
3. Do not move out of the marital home without talking to an attorney first.
Leaving the house early or without good cause may cause you lose out on lost time with respect to custody and visitation until a court order can be established. You may also not have the right to return to the home to retrieve marital property until many months later. If you do decide to leave don’t plan on coming back right away. The only exception to this rule is if your spouse is violent. If your spouse is violent, you must take all steps necessary to protect yourself and your children.
4. If you have been involved in extramarital affairs, talk to a lawyer before you discuss this with your spouse or anyone else.
In this case, honesty may not be the best policy. Fault which includes having an extramarital affair can be considered in property division and in attorney fees.
5. Take concrete steps to safeguard your assets (and debts) before you and your spouse begin discussing divorce.
One of these steps is to take possession of certain assets during separation, especially those assets you wish to be using, such as furniture and vehicles, and those assets that might be liquidated by your spouse, including precious gems and stones, other collectibles, cash, and bearer bonds.
If you have given your spouse a financial power of attorney you need to file with the recorder of deeds in the county where you live a revocation of the power of attorney in order to prevent your spouse from making financial decisions for you, behind your back or without your consent.
Other protective measures you might consider in your divorce planning include: (1) protecting your own credit rating by freezing or closing joint cards and by blocking your spouse’s access to other joint credit such as a home equity loan; (2) closing joint bank accounts and opening accounts in your own, individual name; (3) changing the name of the responsible party on utility and other bills; (4) running a credit report on both you and your spouse to ensure that you are aware of all debt being incurred in both your name and your spouse’s name; and (5) spending where possible your spouse’s separate property first, marital property next and your own separate property last.