Security is structuring my life around that which cannot be destroyed or taken away.
THE SECURITY A FATHER PROVIDES
A Full-Length Sermon for Father’s day based on Psalm 103:13-22
By Steve Withrow
Pastor, Editor – Charlotte, NC
1
Security is knowing that God will never leave us nor forsake us and that whatever we give to Him will become an eternal treasure.
INTRODUCTION
A Greetings & Happy Father’s Day.
B A Humorous Father’s Day Story
You know, being a father is no easy task. To illustrate the hazards of fatherhood consider this story that I happened upon recently.
One day shortly after the birth of their new baby, the child’s mother had to go out to do some errands. So the proud papa stayed home to watch his wonderful new son.
Soon after the mother left, the baby started to cry. The father did everything he could think of to do but the baby wouldn't stop crying.
Finally, the dad got so worried he decided to take the infant to the doctor. The doctor listened patiently to all the father had done to get the baby to stop crying then began his examination. First, he examined the baby’s ears, and throat, and chest. Then he moved down to the diaper area.
When he undid the diaper, he found that the diaper was quite full. "Here's the problem", the Dr. said, "He needs a change."
Upon hearing the doctor’s diagnosis, the father was very distressed and perplexed. Finally, he was able to speak. But the diaper PACKAGE said it was good for up to 10 POUNDS!
As you can see, fatherhood is no easy task, and unfortunately there are few good role models. On the one hand we are to be the brute hunter-gatherers of our society who carve out an existence for our brood in the midst of an asphalt jungle.
But on the other hand we are to be the new “sensitive” males, in touch with our feelings and the hurts and needs of others. When we get home from the jungle it’s time to dust the hut.
C Looking to God for Guidance
With so few role models we instinctively look to the Scriptures, but there are few teaching passages on the subject. Ephesians 6 comes prominently to mind, but what else do we have, really? Proverbs 31 is a great model for mothers, but where is the corresponding instruction for fathers?
The Bible is filled with the histories of dysfunctional families that couldn’t get along. Think of conflict in the homes of:
Adam and Eve. Cain vs Abel
Abraham, Sarah, Hagar, Ishmael, and Isaac
Isaac and Rebekah, Esau & Jacob
Jacob with his 2 wives, handmaids, and 12 sons
Eli, and the corruption of his two pries-sons.
David and the rebellion of Absalom.
Where are the sterling examples of fatherhood in the Bible? Joseph may have been a good father but little is told of that aspect of his life in Genesis. Joshua appears to have been a model, but his example boils down to a succinct verse or two. Jesus’ earthly father, Joseph did well, but after Christ’s birth, and the flight to Egypt, we hear nothing until Jesus was twelve, then nothing again until Jesus began his public ministry.
Perhaps we’re looking in the wrong place. We need to lift our eyes higher. God labels himself as our Heavenly Father.
What kind of father is He? That question brings me to today’s text, Psalm 103.
Psalm 103 is not intended to be a teaching manual on fatherhood, nevertheless as we observe the characteristics of our Heavenly Father in this passage, and throughout the scriptures, we can observe that He has given us a perfect example of fatherhood within His revelation of himself.
D Focusing-in on Today’s Theme
As we search the Scriptures we find that one of the primary tasks that we as fathers are called upon to do is to provide stability and security for our families.
This is not an easy task because there are many things involved. It is also not easy because there are so many things that a parent cannot control. We cannot control the actions of others. We cannot control the direction of the economy and our resultant job security. We cannot control the moral direction of the world, or the types of entertainment that a profit-driven and hedonistic society will provide.
And yet there is much security that we as father’s CAN provide, and God holds us accountable to do what we can in an imperfect world. If we will do the things that God has instructed us, and model HIS character throughout our lives, we will almost always find that our children will become secure and stable adults, who think well and function well, and honor God in their lives. This is not always the case, there are exceptions because our children have wills of their own. Nevertheless, the structure we provide our children helps them to interpret even their own wants and thoughts and actions within the larger framework of divine morality and objective right and wrong.
Fathers, what you do makes a difference, and you must provide a secure foundation upon which your children can build their lives.
Today’s Thesis:
When your children look at their father, there should be some key elements about their dads in which they can rest secure. And each of these elements will point them to their Heavenly Father.
Let’s examine the security that our Heavenly Father provides us, and then, in turn, provide these things for our children.
Your children should be secure in the knowledge that:
I YOU HAVE MADE A LIFE-LONG COMMITMENT TO YOUR FAMILY
V.17 But the lovingkindness of the LORD is from everlasting to everlasting on those who fear him,
And His righteousness to children’s children…
The use of eternal imagery, and grandparenting imagery shows the life-long commitment a father should make to his home.
Some facts about Fatherless boys & girls
Michael Gurian, author of The Good Son: Shaping the Moral Development of Our Boys and Young Men, concluded after studying 30 cultures in many lands that "American boys have the least moral development of any boys in the world."
Mr. Gurian attributes this discouraging phenomenon to the breakdown of family… our society causes us to end up "with kids being raised with one parent, no extended family, and going to a school with 2,500 kids. That means less chance for moral development"
"Boys are really hungry for male attention… A boy can become a male adult, physically and socially, but he isn't a man until he has become loving, wise, and responsible."
He added: "All sorts of studies show us what happens when a boy is not attached to his dad… he's more likely to live in poverty, more likely to end up in jail, do drugs, and so on.”
Daughters need fathers too
What Mr. Gurian says about the need for fathers in the life of boys is no less true for the development of girls. "It is said that the best thing a father can do for his daughter is to love her mother," notes syndicated newspaper columnist Kathleen Parker. "A girl lucky enough to observe her 'first man' [her father] demonstrating affection and respect for the woman with whom she most strongly identifies [her mother] grows up with confidence and high self-esteem. More likely than not, she'll set her standards high when seeking her own mate.
"Now, new research published in the August issue of the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology suggests that there's more fathers can do: Be there" ("A Father's Best Gift? His Presence," Oct. 3, 1999).
Now, Fathers, listen closely to this next paragraph. Come to grips with what the research says, and consider your awesome responsibility in the light of it.
The research found that girls who had fathers as active caregivers entered puberty later and therefore were slower to develop sexual interests--and attendant problems. "Apparently, girls' biological clocks are tuned not only to their physical environment but to the emotional atmosphere as well."
WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Apparently the young female body is wired so that if her emotional security is not properly provided for by her father, it will accelerate its preparation for its future mate. This reality is stunning, and should remind us of the importance of responsible fatherhood.
WE NEED MEN WHO WILL BE LIFE-LONG HUSBANDS AND FATHERS TO THEIR FAMILIES!
A This life-long commitment begins BEFORE you marry.
1 Your choice of a mate is critical
2 Your ability to say “no” and deny yourself physical gratification now translates into strength that can maintain your marriage later.
Illus. - Imagine trying to run a 26-mile marathon with no training. It cannot be done. Marriage is a marathon just like life. Begin your training now.
B This life-long commitment continues through your efforts to maintain and grow a solid marriage.
C This life-long commitment translates into your being a lifelong resource for your children as they mature in their lives, even through adulthood.
Your life-long commitment to your role as a father teaches your children about the ETERNITY of God,
The IMMUTABILITY/Unchangeableness of God, and
The PATIENCE of God
Children are crippled in their ability to trust God when their earthly fathers forsake their commitments in mid-stream.
Your children should be secure in the knowledge that:
II YOU REALLY KNOW THEM AND UNDERSTAND THEM.
V.13 Just as a father has compassion his children, So the LORD has compassion on those who fear him.
V.14 For He Himself knows our frame (literally: “What we are made of”); He is mindful that we are but dust.
A This knowledge of your children is an expectation of the Scriptures.
Proverbs 22:6
Train up a child in the way he should go (Literally “according to HIS way”); Even when he is old he will not depart from it.
God is not telling us to train up our child in the WAY he should go. We are not cramming data down our kids’ throats, and squeezing them into an external cookie-cutter type of mold.
God is telling us to train up our child in the way HE should go. In other words we should notice our child’s God-given inclinations and talents, and encourage him or her to pursue their individual uniqueness to the glory of God.
1 This means that a father needs to observe his children.
2 This means that a father needs to spend time with his children.
Uninterrupted time.
Research tells us that on average, the American father spends only around 38 seconds per day in dedicated/uninterrupted time with his children.
Time doing what THEY like to do
3 This means that a father needs to listen to his children.
It is so easy to be in close proximity to our children and still be a million miles away mentally.
Illus.-
Charles Francis Adams (1807-1886), the son of President John Quincy Adams, was a 2-term congressman, and Lincoln’s ambassador to England. He was a busy and influential man.
He kept a diary. One day he entered: "Went fishing with my son today - -a day wasted."
His son Brook Adams, also kept a diary, which is still in existence. On that same day, Brook Adams made this entry: "Went fishing with my father - the most wonderful day of my life!"
TAKE TIME TO KNOW YOUR KIDS.
4 This means that a father needs to accept his children.
Illus.-
I have a bright yellow and green Gumby shirt and a Superman Hat given to me by my sons last Father’s Day. These are not gifts I would have chosen, but they were chosen for me with care and love. I wear them, and yes, I even like them. Accepting their gifts means I accept them, and their perceptions, yes, even their perceptions of me.
B Knowing your child carries with it a moral obligation…
Your children should be secure in the sense that you are ultimately working for THEIR best interests above your own.
You are helping them along the pathway to become who God created them to be, rather than what you want them to be.
Illustration –
The great reformer Martin Luther had a dramatic call to the ministry, but his father was strongly opposed to it. It was his intention that Martin become a lawyer.
Several years later Hans Luther attended Martin’s first performance of the Mass as a priest. In the public meal that followed, Hans took Martin to task. He told Martin, “the Bible says to honor your father, but you have not honored me, you have disobeyed me by becoming a priest.”
Martin held his tongue, but as I read this account I wondered to myself, “How in the world can a Christian son dishonor a Christian father by obeying God’s call?
What would have been the course of Church history if Hans Luther had had his way? What would have been the devastating cost?
Martin’s father had missed what God was doing in his son’s life. Fathers, we must be careful not to make the same mistake. Know your children. Know their gifts and talents, and encourage them to follow God’s call.
Your knowledge of your children teaches them about:
The OMNISCIENCE of God.
The COMPASSION of God and
The GRACE of God that reaches out first.