INTERACTIVE TEACHING/LEARNING GUIDE
Push the Limits-Live What You Believe – Week 5
A Study of the Book of James
Session Title: Handling Conflict
Focal Passage: James 1:19-20
Central Teaching/Learning Aim: The learner will be challenged to examine his/her life to see if he/she is handling conflict out of anger or like God.
I. Hook
A. Web clip – French footballer losing his temper
Location: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-L8z830KuxA
Length: 2:50
Synopsis:
World Cup Finalist Ends Career in Burst of Anger
Known as one of the greatest soccer players in European history, French footballer Zinedine Zidane put together a sparkling athletic career. Viewed as a player of uncommon skill with a penchant for big-game goals, he led the French national team to a World Cup championship in 1998.
Eight years later, Zidane reported that he would retire following the 2006 World Cup. The French team was not expected to last long against the younger international competition, a prediction that was largely fueled by rumors that Zidane had lost a step. He proved them wrong.
In France's second-round match against Spain, Zidane led the team to victory when he beat goalkeeper Iker Casillas for a goal. He was also instrumental in the team's victory over highly-ranked Brazil in the quarter-finals, using precision passes and his trademark spin move to split the Brazilian defense. In the semi-final match against Portugal, Zidane scored the game-winning goal on a penalty kick. When the smoke had cleared, Zidane led his team into a second World Cup Championship game, this time against rival Italy.
Things started out brilliantly for the superstar in what would be the final game of his exceptional career. On a penalty kick during the first half of play, Zidane chipped the ball over the arms of Italian goalkeeper Gianluigi Buffon for the first goal of the match. When the Italians tied the score several minutes later, it looked like a perfect opportunity for the French captain to end his career with another game-winning goal, and another championship.
However, his temper intervened. During the first half of overtime play, Zidane engaged in a verbal confrontation with Italian defender Marco Materazzi. In what would be his final act as a professional soccer player, Zinedine Zidane wheeled around to face Materazzi, lowered his head, and slammed it into the Italian's chest, knocking him to the ground. The referee saw it and flashed a red card, ejecting the French captain from the game.
As large screens around the stadium replayed Zidane's inability to control his temper, the once-proud legend walked off the pitch with his head lowered in shame.
Source: "Zidane Sent Off in Extra Time for Head Butt," ESPNsoccernet (7-9-06)
Ask – Anger got the best of Zidane and he ended his career in shame. What are examples of anger in our society?
On a scale of 1-10 with 1 being always controlled and 10 being always angry, how angry would you rate yourself? How would your best friend or spouse rate you?
Read – (James 1:19-20)
State – Today we are going to discuss the anger epidemic and how to control it in order to handle conflict in a Christ-like manner.
B. Optional Method – Enlist a couple to read the following skit. (See attachment below)
Ask – Does this ridiculous conversation sound familiar? How often can a conversation about nothing escalate to an all-out argument?
Read – (James 1:19-20). What is the prescription for countering anger?
Next – Share the following true account:
Couple Married 80 Years Never Sleep on an Argument
On June 1, 2005, Percy Arrowsmith, 105-years-old, and his 100-year-old wife Florence celebrated their 80th wedding anniversary. Percy died two weeks later. They met at their church in Hereford, England. He sang in the choir, and she was a Sunday school teacher.
According to the Guinness World Record authorities, the couple held the record for the longest marriage, as well as the oldest aggregate age of a married couple.
The Arrowsmiths claimed the key to their long marriage was not to go to sleep on an argument. They said they always kissed each other and held hands each night before going to bed.
"Couple Mark 80th Anniversary," The San Antonio Express-News (6-2-05)
State – Today we are going to discuss the anger epidemic and how to control it in order to handle conflict in a Christ-like manner.
C. Optional Method – Web Clip- Minor League Manager Losing It
Location: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Pzambx83-0
Length: 1:57
Synopsis: Minor League Manager Loses His Cool
On June 1, 2007, minor league Mississippi Braves baseball manager Phillip Wellman threw a major league tantrum that earned him the national spotlight, if only for a moment.
During a losing game against the Chattanooga Lookouts, Wellman was infuriated over a call made by the home plate umpire. Wellman charged out of the dugout, stood nose-to-nose with the umpire, and began screaming. He then framed his hands just outside the umpire's face and shook them emphatically as he blustered all the more.
Wellman then stormed toward home plate. He knelt on one knee, covered the plate with dirt, and then retraced home plate with his finger, this time about a yard wide.
Then, after a brief altercation with the third base umpire, Wellman stole third base—literally. He pulled the bag out of the ground, sauntered toward second base, and hurled it discus-style out of the infield.
But it's what happened next that got people talking. Walking back toward the pitcher's mound from second base, Wellman dropped to the ground and belly-crawled toward the mound, picked up the rosin bag, and, after pulling an imaginary pin with his teeth, lobbed it like a grenade at the home plate umpire.
Then, he headed for the outfield. On his way, Wellman uprooted second base, picked up the discarded third base, and took them with him.
Just before he left the field via the outfield wall, Wellman blew a kiss to the cheering crowd.
Wellman's temper earned him global recognition—and a three-game suspension.
The response from fans was mixed. While some appreciated Wellman's theatrics as all in good fun, others were embarrassed by the example such behavior modeled for young fans.
"Minor League Braves Manager Phil Wellman Goes Nuts," www.youtube.com
Ask – What is your reaction to Wellman’s antics? Have you ever wished you could go nuts like this but have managed to contain it? What contributes to the angriness in our society?
Read – (James 1:19-20)
State – Today we are going to discuss the anger epidemic and how to control it in order to handle conflict in a Christ-like manner.
II. Book
A. Utilize the discussion guide to examine the Scripture passages.
III. Look
A. Web Clip – Featuring Doug Fields teaching on controlling anger. This clip can be downloaded from bluefishtv.com.
Location: http://www.bluefishtv.com/Store/Downloadable_Video_Illustrations/1924/Doug_Fields_Dea l_With_Your_Anger
Length: 3:10
Synopsis: Anger is something everyone deals with. In this clip, Doug Fields encourages us not to let anger lead to sin. He gives helpful counsel on how to control anger in a healthy way.
Doug Fields was the former youth pastor at Saddleback church.
Place members into groups and have them discuss the following questions as they relate to Doug’s presentation. (See Group Discussion Handout)
IV. Took
A. Enlist someone to share a testimony who has been transformed from being extremely angry to a gentle soul. Challenge members to do the same.
B. Optional Method – Share the following true account:
Man Transformed After Dealing with His Anger
In his book It Came from Within, Andy Stanley tells of a man whose faith sprang back to life once he dealt with his anger. Stanley writes:
I met Joe at Starbucks. He was sitting in one of those overstuffed chairs with headphones on and a scowl that said, "Don't anybody come near me." Everything about his countenance and posture communicated anger. So when I saw him, I avoided eye contact and went on about my business.
As I was waiting for my soy latte, Joe approached me and said, "Aren't you Andy?" At that particular moment, I wasn't sure if I should be Andy or not…. "Somebody gave me one of your CDs," he said. "I've been listening to it. But I've got to tell you, I have a real problem with God, and the church, too, for that matter."
Joe had been through two difficult divorces. His first wife had been sexually abused as a child and was never able to face the issues involved. After 30 years of marriage, the memories of abuse surfaced and eroded their marriage, which ended in divorce. His ex-wife passed away suddenly two years later. Joe then remarried, but after three years, this too ended in a heartbreaking divorce. Joe was lonely, a recovering alcoholic. There was no evidence of the existence of God as far as he could see….
I got Joe's phone number and connected him with one of our pastors, John Woodall. John called Joe, met him for coffee, and struck up a friendship. That was the last I saw of Joe, for a while.
Three months later, I was sitting in that same Starbucks, talking to a student pastor from another church, when in walked Joe. When he saw me, he headed straight for my table. The first thing I noticed was that he was smiling. The second thing I noticed was that he was carrying a Bible, a notebook, and a book on marriage.
"I'm getting remarried next week!" he announced. I wasn't sure what to think. "To who?" I asked. "To Susan!" he exclaimed. Susan was his ex-wife. "Susan and I are getting remarried. John is doing the wedding."
I could see in Joe's eyes that something remarkable had happened. And it had. Over the course of several meetings with John, Joe found the courage to quit blaming and, instead, take a look at what was rattling around in his heart. He had been an angry man, with reason to be angry. But like so many people, Joe had no idea what to do about his anger. And his unresolved anger had eroded his faith to the point where it was almost nonexistent.
John had helped…Joe's faith come to life. With his renewed faith came the motivation he needed to address other issues in his life. The transformation was so remarkable that Susan noticed and began asking questions. Soon after, she put her faith in Christ. The week before Susan and Joe were remarried, John baptized her in one of our morning services.
Andy Stanley, It Came from Within (Multnomah, 2006), p. 58-60; submitted by John Beukema, Chambersburg, Pennsylvania
Challenge members to seek a radical transformation if they struggle with anger. Suggest that they find someone to confide in.
Couple Agrees “Change Don’t Come Easily”
Husband: Change don't come easily.
Wife: Doesn't.
Husband: Doesn't what?
Wife: Come easily. Change doesn't come easily.
Husband: So you are agreeing with me.
Wife: Yes, but
Husband: Then why didn't you just say, "I agree"?
Wife: But I
Husband: We're always arguing.
Wife: I'm not arguing.
Husband: Yes, you are.
Wife: No, I'm not.
Husband: Then what is it we're doing?
Wife: Honestly, I have no idea.
Husband: Well whatever it is, I'm sick of it, and it needs to change!
Wife: To quote a wise man, "Change don't come easily."
Husband: Exactly!
Skit written by Clark Cothern, Ypsilanti, Michigan (7-3-05)
DISCUSSION GUIDE
Teacher Copy
1. What is James counter to anger as outlined in (James 1:19)?
a. Be quick to hear
b. Be slow to speak
c. Be slow to get angry
2. Which of the above is the most difficult for you?
3. What speed do you run in? Do you say things you regret regularly?
4. How has technology impacted society’s reaction time? Is this good or bad?
5. What do the following passages teach about anger?
a. (Pv. 14:17) An angry man does foolish things
b. (Pv. 15:1) Gentleness calms the situation
c. (Pv. 15:18) Patience can calm a confrontation
d. (Pv. 16:32) Staying in control is better than being a warrior
e. (Pv. 21:19) An ill-tempered spouse or friend can make life miserable
f. (Pv. 29:22) Anger causes dissension and sin
g. (Eccl. 7:9) Anger resides in the lap of fools
h. (Eph. 4:26) Resolve conflicts each day
i. (Eph. 4:31-32) Be kind and compassionate and forgiving
j. (Matt. 5:22) Anger towards a brother brings judgment
6. What is not produced by angry living? (v. 20)
[Godly righteousness is not the outcome.]
7. How does one achieve the righteousness of God?
[We should seek to imitate God in every way.]
8. How are the following verses counter-cultural?
a. (Matt. 7:1) Do not judge others
b. (Rom. 12:17-21) Live peaceably with all and leave vengeance to God
c. (Matt. 5:43-44) Love your enemies and pray for them
d. (1 Peter 2:18-25) Endure injustice like Christ did
9. Is there anyone in your life in which you need to resolve a conflict?
DISCUSSION GUIDE
Student Copy
1. What is James counter to anger as outlined in (James 1:19)?
a.
b.
c.
2. Which of the above is the most difficult for you?