JERRY IN THE MIRE

by Rod

Based on Jeremiah 1 vv 4 – 19, God’s call of the prophet Jeremiah.

CAST

Headmaster in his study. He could be wearing an academic gown.

Jerry Mire. A year 9 boy. If played by an adult he could be wearing shorts, blazer, cap etc

[Knock on door]

Headmaster Come in.

Jerry Hello, sir, you wanted to see me?

H Ah yes, Mire, come on in.

J Thank you, sir.

H Now, Mire, or may I call you Jerry?

J Please do, Sir. Everyone else does. After all it is my name – Jerry Mire.

H Good. Now, Jerry, I’ve got an important job for you. I’m going to make you a prophet.

J Oo that’s brill, sir. How much will I gain in this little deal of yours?

H Not that sort of profit, Jerry. No, starting tomorrow I want you to stand up in front of the whole school at assembly and tell them that I am very displeased with them for their continued bad behaviour. You will warn them that I am going to punish them accordingly.

J [Incredulous] Me, sir?

H Yes you, Jerry.

J But I’m only in year 9. I’m much too young. I don’t think they’ll listen to me. Couldn’t you get one of the sixth formers to do it – perhaps the Head Boy……or a member of staff…… or better still, do it yourself. Yes, that’s a much better idea.

H No, it’s you I have chosen, Jerry. When you first came to the school I said to myself, “He’s the man for the job”.

J Man for the chop more like. I’ll be lucky to get out of the room alive.

H [Putting his arm on Jerry’s shoulder] Now don’t worry, Jerry, I’ll be right behind you.

J Couldn’t you be right in front of me, sir?

[Headmaster takes out a pocket watch on a chain and dangles it in front of Jerry]

H Now, Jerry, what do you see?

J [Hypnotically] I am feeling sleepy, very sleepy.

H [Realising Jerry is becoming hypnotised] Stop that, Jerry. Wake up.

J [Coming to rapidly] Sorry, sir.

H Now tell me what you see.

J A watch, sir.

H Very good. And do you know what this means, Jerry?

J [Looking at the watch] It’s 11 o’clock, sir. [Enthusiastically] It’s break time!

H No, Jerry. It means that I shall be watching .

J Oh, very good, sir. Watch … watching. Very humorous I must say

H I shall be watching to see that my words are carried out.

J Oh, does it? Oh, good. [Aside] That puts paid to my plan to report in sick tomorrow.

[Headmaster holds up a kettle and slowly tips it]

H What do you see now, Jerry?

J A kettle. Look out, sir, your spilling water from it!

H It is indeed a pouring kettle. And do you know what this means, Jerry?

J [Excitedly] It’s definitely break time and your going to make a cup of coffee. Thank you very much, sir. I’ll have mine white with two sugars.

H No, Jerry. This kettle shows that my punishments will be poured out on all who have done wrong.

J [Unenthusiastic] Oh, does it, sir? And you want me to tell them this?

H That’s right, Jerry. You should deem it an honour.

J I should? Oh yes, quite, I should. Thank you very much, sir.

H Now, Jerry, get yourself ready. Stand up straight and prepare yourself for tomorrow. [Jerry springs to attention] Remember that I have made you like a fortified city [Jerry slumps slightly] … an iron pillar [Jerry slumps further] …. and a bronze wall. [Jerry slumps even more and is totally limp] So, Jerry, are you ready?

J [Resignedly] As ready as I ever will be I suppose.

H Good man, I look forward to tomorrow.

J [Unenthusiastically] I can’t wait, sir.

THE END

JERRY IN THE MIRE.doc - 3 - Rod 31/7/08

8/4/01