Paper 1
Environmental impact report
Purpose: To try your hand at writing as a scientist, precisely describing a specific spot in the Monterey Bay region.
Length: at least 1500 words (it can always be longer)
Audience: Your audience is a scientist who has never been to your spot and is depending on your paper to both find it and to know what is there. You need to write this for a stranger, using scientific language. Imagine also that your reader has never seen anything you’re describing such as a redwood tree or a seagull; describe it so that he or she can tell that particular tree or bird from any other type. Be detailed!
Description: Science writing demands observation, precision and the ability to ask questions. In this paper, you are going to describe a scientific visit that you make to some outdoor place in the area. It does not have to be free of human beings, but it does need to be big enough for you to stroll through to observe its many qualities. Please type, double space and carefully proofread.
Writing Challenge: I would like you to write this in a scientific report format, practicing the “just the facts” writing that science demands. Use full sentences, but be short and to the point. Do not use the word “I.” Write as scientists do, saying “The trail was walked at noon on a rainy day” as opposed to “I walked the trail in the rain.”
The other writing challenge is that you are not allowed to use common words for the names of what you see: tree, bush, grass, dolphin, otter, sea gull. Instead, look closely and describe it in detail as if you’ve just discovered an interesting specimen that hasn’t been named yet. What does it really look like? If it helps, pretend you are writing for aliens who are on their first visit to Earth and don’t know our names for things. Look at the “Description Check-list” in your reader to help you describe things in detail.
Please divide your report into the sections listed below. Use headings for each section, all in capital letters.
· SITE LOCATION: Describe where you began your journey and where you ended up, including directions on how to get there from Cabrillo. Be as precise as possible about where this is, including what mountain range or coastal area the place is in, near what river or harbor. Get that information from the regional map we worked on during the first class meeting. Say things in a scientific manner. Here’s an example. “One can reach the Forest of Nisene Marks by proceeding south from Cabrillo College on Soquel Drive to Aptos Creek Road. Turn left. Enter the Forest of Nisene Marks and park in the lot by the kiosk.”
· CLIMATE, WEATHER AND SEASON: Describe what it was like the day that you were there. How did you know what season it is? Include what things in the environment that gave you clues – color of leaves, shape of clouds in the sky, blossoms etc.
· PHYSICAL ENVIRONMENT: This means the general physical features – including hills, slopes, water areas etc. If you can identify any of the geological features (types of rocks etc), great! In general, what does the place look like?
· FLORA: Describe the plant life that you see, from weeds to trees. The point is not to call things by name, but to describe what they actually look like. Detail is the key here. Write until you feel you have said too much about each bit of flora that you see.
· FAUNA: Describe the animal life that you observe, excluding humans. Include mammals, birds, reptiles and insects. Again, be utterly detailed. Remember, don’t use common names. Use the word specimen, fauna or animal and then describe it.
· HUMAN IMPACT: Describe the impact that humans have had on this place and offer evidence if it has been positive or negative. This is a judgment call, without a right or wrong answer, so you must give your opinion and offer proof for why you see it this way.
· QUESTIONS FOR FURTHER INVESTIGATION: What questions need to be explored in more depth about this environment? Make a list, using numbers. Find the answers to two of your questions and say where you learned it. In other words, do a little research and cite where you got your information.
· WHAT THE SCIENTIST DOESN’T SEE: Use this section to describe what a scientist might miss in her/his observation about this specific place. What do you see that a scientist might ignore? Here is where you can be poetic, spiritual, philosophical and/or artistic and finally use the word “I”. What gets overlooked when you’re concentrating on being scientific and are busy describing the facts? What are your feelings about this place?
Paper #1 Grading Rubric
WOW! (Grade A – 90-100 points)
· Utilizes an excellent report format with proper headings and precise presentation.
· No use of “I” until the last section. No use of common names, like tree or bird.
· Develops each of the eight sections thoroughly , with at least two paragraphs of description for each, showing originality, elegance and clear thinking..
· Uses impressive detail under each section, focusing on the elements in the Description Checklist and embracing the principles of Science Writing.
· Presents ideas in each section with a graceful flow and in a logical order.
· Chooses words aptly, scientifically and sometimes inventively.
· Demonstrates mastery of most of the grammar and usage conventions of Standard English.
· Uses phrasing, tone, and expression that reflects a unique personal voice.
Good! Almost There ( Grade B – 80-89 points)
· Uses the report format well with mostly proper headings and detailed presentation.
· Only uses “I” in other than the last section a few times. Only uses common names, like “bird” or “tree” a few times.
· Thoroughly develops most of the eight sections, with mostly two paragraphs of description for each.
· Uses appropriate detail under each section, following most of the elements in the Description Checklist and embracing the principles of Science Writing.
· Uses words precisely if not creatively.
· Varies sentence structure enough to read smoothly.
· Uses competently the conventions of written English, containing few, if any, errors in sentence structure, punctuation and capitalization or usage.
· Uses mostly consistent phrasing, tone and expression that reflects a personal world view and style.
Getting There (Grade C – 70- 79 points )
· Uses the report format with most sections showing proper headings and adequate presentation.
· Uses “I” occasionally in some sections. Uses common names, like “bird” or “tree” occasionally.
· Adequately develops of most of the eight sections, with one or two paragraphs of description for each.
· Uses fair detail under each section, following most of the elements in the Description Checklist and embracing the principles of Science Writing but the supporting evidence is general and imprecise. There may be some small factual errors.
· Uses a less precise vocabulary and may contain awkwardness of expression.
· Contains minor errors in mechanics and usage, and perhaps one or two more distracting errors in sentence structure.
· Uses fairly consistent phrasing, tone and expression that reflect a personal world view and style with occasional inconsistencies.
Try Again (Grade D – 60-69 points)
· Uses report format in a sketchy manner with several sections having improper headings and inadequate presentation.
· Uses “I” in most sections. Uses common names like “bird”
or “tree.”
· Vaguely develops most of the sections, with one paragraph or less description for each.
· Uses imprecise detail under each section, following few of the elements in the Description Checklist. There are several factual errors.
· Makes enough errors in usage and sentence structure to cause a reader serious, if occasional, distraction.
· Uses frequently inconsistent phrasing, tone and expression, often formulaic and imitative; lacks evidence of a personal worldview and style.
Let’s not even go there (Grade F - 59 points or less)
· Doesn’t attempt the task or distorts it.
· Lacks organization or detail.
· Contains many distracting errors in sentence structure, simplistic or inaccurate word choice, many repeated errors in grammar and usage.
· Not enough is written to get a sense of personal worldview and style.
Paper #2
An ANTHROPOLOGICAL ARGUMENT
Purpose: To argue something about the local Ohlone or other Native American people in this area. Your argument or claim can be whatever you choose, as long as you can back it up with the facts that you’ve discovered in your assigned reading for class and from at least two other outside sources (web sites, articles or books).
Length: at least 1500 words (it can always be longer).
Audience: Your audience is a very interested reader who knows NOTHING about the local Native people. Write this for a stranger whom you are trying to educate.
Description: This paper is written using the format of a classic argument. It must be focused on a claim about local Native Americans. Begin with an opening that both grabs your reader’s attention and makes your stand clear. Make a strong claim or thesis. This thesis statement or claim usually comes at the end of your introduction.
The main part of the paper should consist of evidence that logically supports your thesis. Use quotes from the articles you read for class and two outside sources as your evidence. Keep coming back to how this information supports your thesis.
End your paper with a bang. Your conclusion is the “so what?” of your paper. What is the point of all this? Why should we care? Why is it important?
Please type, double space and carefully proofread.
MLA Documentation: Cite the quotes by writing the page number and, if necessary, the author’s last name after each quote. Attempt a Works Cited List at the end of this paper, listing your sources, but no points will be taken off if it’s not in the proper format. Copy all your sources and attach them to the end of your paper.
Writing Challenge: This format is based on the five-paragraph essay that you may have learned in high school but it’s much longer. You have to figure out how to extend that form, creating a coherent paper that is approximately six pages long. Note that the conclusion can’t simply be repeating your intro, but has to be about why this topic or the group you’re writing about matters. Also, to give you practice for how papers are expected to be written at the university, as part of your introduction you are not allowed to use a sentence that says something like this, “In this paper, I will discuss…”
Because this topic is so wide open, it may be hard to decide what to write about. Here’s a hint: choose something that moves you. If you don’t care about the topic, it will feel like a waste of time to research and write about it for six pages. And your paper will read that way too. Find a topic that you feel passionate about.
For those of you who are drawing a blank, below are some possible paper topics, but these are only possibilities. Write about something that rings your bells.
1. Argue about how you were taught about the local Ohlone Indians in elementary or high school. How much were you told? Should the teaching have been different?
2. Research how students are being taught about the Ohlone in elementary school now and compare it to how it was done 50 years ago. Which is better?
3. Compare the way the Spanish treated the Ohlone to the way they were treated by the Yankees. Which was worse?
4. Argue how the concept of ethnocentricism is apparent in the way either the Yankees or the Spanish treated the Ohlone.
5. Argue whether or not Father Serra should be canonized as a saint.
6. Compare and contrast an Ohlone value or way of living to how we are living now. Which is better?
7. Were the native people forced to live at Mission Santa Cruz justified in murdering Father Quintana? Why or why not?
8. Argue why the Ohlone and other natives were not able to successfully mount a resistance to the Spanish. (If you are going to write about this one, see Marcy for an excellent resource to help bolster your argument).
9. Others????
Paper #2, 3, and 5 Grading Rubric
W0W!!! (90-100 Points - Grade A)
· Begins with an introduction that shows your understanding of the issues, grabs your readers’ attention, and presents a strong and insightful thesis or point of view.
· Engages the topic in a thoughtful and individual way, showing originality, elegance and clear thinking.
· Develops the topic using a strong detail, quotes from other sources, and a unique synthesis of ideas.
· Utilizes library research and quotes from outside sources, always properly citing them using the MLA format.