1
FADE IN:
INT. RESTAURANT – NIGHT – BLACK AND WHITE
The restaurant is crowded and noisy. Groups of smiling people chat animatedly at every table.
At one table, a group of several GIRLS are obviously enjoying themselves, gossiping enthusiastically. Their table holds mostly-eaten plates of food and empty glasses.
BECKY, one of the girls, a petite brunette with glasses, listens to the gossip.
Suddenly, Becky looks down toward her pocket.
CLOSE UP – CELL PHONE
Becky pulls her vibrating cell phone out of her pocket. The lit-up display reads “INCOMING CALL – ALYSSA”.
BACK TO SCENE
Becky’s face changes to one of partially concealed concern.
BECKY
Hey, guys, I’ve got a call. I’ll be right back.
The other girls continue their conversation, hardly seeming to notice.
Becky stands up, cell phone in hand, and walks quickly toward the door of the restaurant.
EXT. PARKING LOT – NIGHT
Becky exits the restaurant through noisy clumps of people waiting to be seated.
As she passes through the groups, she brings the cell phone to her ear.
BECKY
Hi, just a minute.
She walks away from the people and into the parking lot until the voices of the people fade.
She continues over to a high curb and sits down.
She answers the phone, a bit out of breath.
BECKY
(quickly)
So what’s up?
She listens for a few seconds, then draws her knees up, puts an elbow on her knee, and holds her forehead in her hand.
Becky’s eyes close and her face turns to worry, sadness, and concern.
INT. COUNSELOR’S OFFICE – DAY - COLOR
Becky sits curled up in an over-stuffed easy chair. She is looking at someone off-screen.
COUNSELOR (O.S.)
So how did that make you feel?
BECKY
(surprised and sarcastic)
What do you mean, how did it make me feel? How was I supposed to feel? What do you DO when your best friend tells you she tried to kill herself? How would YOU feel?
COUNSELOR (O.S.)
Let’s try this: What was the first thing that came into your mind when she told you?
Becky hesitates.
BECKY
(with a humorless chuckle)
Frankly, the first thing I thought was “FINALLY.”
INT. HIGH SCHOOL CLASSROOM – DAY
INSERT – “TWO YEARS EARLIER”
BACK TO SCENE
Voice over begins.
The classroom is partially filled with students chatting enthusiastically. More students continue to enter and take their seats.
Becky enters and sits a few desks away from Alyssa.
Their eyes meet and they exchange a brief smile.
BECKY (V.O.)
I met Alyssa at the beginning of our junior year. I’d known who she was since ninth grade, but we weren’t exactly friends.
INT. ANOTHER CLASSROOM – DAY
Voice over begins.
A similar classroom, with students entering.
Becky enters and sits at the desk next to Alyssa.
They exchange brief greetings.
The bell RINGS.
BECKY (V.O.)
Well, we weren’t friends until our schedules coincided so that almost all our classes were the same. We started to sit together. . . study together. . .
INT. LIBRARY – DAY
Voice over begins.
Alyssa and Becky are sitting together at a table, textbooks open, going over their notes.
BECKY (V.O.)
Talk together. . . share stories . . . We discovered we had a mutual friend, Emily.
INT. NOISY CAFETERIA – DAY
Voice over begins.
Alyssa, Becky, and EMILY, a well-dressed, pretty girl with curly hair, carry their trays from the lunch line, weaving through the busy room, to an empty table and sit down.
BECKY (V.O.)
Emily had been good friends with Alyssa since ninth grade, and was an acquaintance of mine. The three of us quickly became a trio of best friends.
INT. LIBRARY – DAY
Alyssa is sitting in a stuffed chair, a book open in her lap, staring blankly into space.
INSERT – “FOUR MONTHS LATER”
BACK TO SCENE
Becky and Emily, chatting animatedly, walk over to Alyssa and sit down next to her.
BECKY
Hey, Alyssa, what’d you think about that physics test? I thought it was way too hard.
EMILY
(joking)
Yeah, sure, well some of us studied!
BECKY
(pretending to be
offended)
Hey, I studied! Don’t you know I care about school just as much as you do?
They grin at each other, then glance at Alyssa, realizing she has remained silent.
BECKY
What’s up, Alyssa?
ALYSSA
(staring down at her
book)
Nothing.
EMILY
(frowning slightly)
You sure?
ALYSSA
Yes, I’m FINE. Just trying to read this stupid English assignment.
Alyssa turns away from the others and lifts her book.
Emily and Becky exchange a bewildered glance. Becky shrugs.
They open their backpacks and get out some study materials.
BECKY (V.O.)
It only took a few months, and I noticed there was something different about Alyssa. But I had no idea quite what it was.
INT. HALLWAY – DAY
The bell RINGS.
Alyssa, Becky, and Emily, along with a flood of other STUDENTS, exit a classroom.
Alyssa pulls the other two aside.
ALYSSA
I can’t sleep over tonight.
BECKY
(disappointed)
Oh, how come?
ALYSSA
I just can’t.
BECKY
(confused)
You. . . just can’t?
ALYSSA
Yes, I JUST CAN’T.
Alyssa walks away from them without saying good-bye. Becky and Emily turn to each other.
EMILY
What was that about?
BECKY
(frowning)
Don’t ask me, I’ve got no idea.
They turn and walk the opposite direction down the hallway, shuffled back and forth by the students hurrying around them.
BECKY (V.O.)
She was getting moody. She’d cancel plans with no explanation, or be obviously upset but refuse to tell us what was wrong. It was frustrating, but hey, I guess you don’t get to stop being friends just because someone has a bad day, right?
INT. HALLWAY – DAY
Becky, Alyssa, and Emily are sitting with their backs to a railing that guards a balcony on the second floor.
INSERT – “TEN MONTHS LATER”
BACK TO SCENE
Becky and Emily are chatting, while Alyssa is studying her notes.
Suddenly, Becky glances over at Alyssa. The sleeve of Alyssa’s sweater has fallen down off her wrist, exposing a large Band-Aid.
BECKY
Oh Alyssa, what happened to your wrist?
ALYSSA
My rabbit bit me.
EMILY
I thought your rabbit was nice.
ALYSSA
(flatly)
She is. I don’t know why she bit me.
The tone in Alyssa’s voice signals to the others that the conversation is over. Alyssa returns to her reading.
BECKY
(to Emily, under her
breath)
Vicious rabbits.
They both giggle. Alyssa doesn’t seem to notice.
BECKY (V.O.)
That was the winter of our junior year. Life continued pretty much like that for the next year and a half: we continued to be best friends, but there was always something unpredictable about Alyssa. In May of our senior year, only days before graduation, I figured out a big piece of the puzzle.
INT. HALLWAY – DAY
Alyssa and Becky are walking down the hallway, not talking.
Alyssa pulls a folded piece of paper out of her pocket.
ALYSSA
(nervously)
I want you to read this.
BECKY
(reaches for the note)
Okay. . .
ALYSSA
(holds it out of Becky’s
reach)
But you have to promise me, that you’ll give it back to me when you’re done, and that you won’t tell anybody about it.
BECKY
(mildly confused)
Okay, I promise.
Alyssa hands Becky the note and folds her arms over her chest as Becky begins to read. They continue walking.
ALYSSA (V.O.)
Remember last year when my rabbit bit me? Well, my rabbit didn’t bite me, I did that to myself. That was the first time I ever did it. I had to do something to distract myself. I’m so sick of hiding it from everybody and I just wanted someone to know.
Becky’s voice over begins.
Becky continues reading the note.
As they reach the school’s front door, Becky folds up the note and gives it back to Alyssa.
BECKY (V.O.)
She wrote more about how upset she was, how she hated herself and her life sometimes, how she just wanted to ease her pain. She said she was confused and she was scared and she was sick of everything that was happening to her. I had some idea what she was talking about but didn’t completely understand.
EXT. SCHOOL PARKING LOT – DAY
Alyssa and Becky climb into Emily’s car, where Emily is waiting.
They slam their doors and Emily begins to drive.
EMILY
So what d’you guys want for lunch today?
Alyssa looks out the window.
Becky is staring at the windshield, her brow slightly furrowed.
EMILY
Uh, guys? Lunch?
Becky startles and glances at Alyssa in the backseat. Alyssa continues to stare out the window.
BECKY
How ‘bout pizza.
Emily glances at Alyssa in the rear view mirror, with a curious look.
EMILY
Okay, pizza it is.
INT. BECKY’S BEDROOM – NIGHT
Becky is sitting at her desk, typing an email. She finishes and clicks the “Send” icon.
BECKY (V.O.)
I needed some clarification, so I emailed Alyssa. I asked what it was exactly that she did to herself and blamed on her rabbit.
CLOSE UP – COMPUTER SCREEN
The “You’ve Got Mail” icon pops up, displaying one new message.
BACK TO SCENE
Becky clicks on the icon and begins to read the email.
BECKY (V.O.)
She told me it was cutting. When she was sad and lonely and frustrated and upset and angry, she cut her arms or her legs. Not deep, she said, just enough to bleed.
Becky sits back in her chair, folds her arms, and stares thoughtfully at the screen for a moment, then begins to type.
BECKY (V.O.)
So I told her that if she wanted me to keep my promise, not to tell anyone, that she’d have to make me a promise. . . She’d have to promise me she wouldn’t try to hurt herself permanently. We both knew that meant suicide, but I was afraid to say it.
Becky finishes typing, sends her email, and shuts off the computer. She climbs into bed and turns off the light on her nightstand.
BECKY (V.O.)
She said sure, yes, of course, I didn’t need to worry about anything like that.
(MORE)
BECKY (V.O.) (cont’d)
She told me she wasn’t at the point where she’d try it, hadn’t even thought about it, and I believed her. I’m not sure whether or not she was telling the truth.
INT. BECKY’S BEDROOM – DAY
Becky is asleep in bed. She wakes, opens her eyes, and glances at the clock on her nightstand, which reads 10:20 a.m.
Becky yawns, stretches her arms, and lies on her back, staring at the ceiling, for a minute.
BECKY (V.O.)
I’d had a night to sleep on it, and it was time to do some research.
Then she pushes back the covers, gets out of bed and goes over to the computer.
She brings up the Google search website.
In the search box, she types “cutting”.
She brings up and scrolls through a series of websites with sentences and titles like “Why Do People Cut Themselves?”, “Signs of Cutting”, “Getting Help for a Friend”, “What Is Self-Abusive Behavior?”, and “Cut Yourself? You’re Not Alone”.
BECKY (V.O.)
I learned some interesting stuff. Some people cut when they’re depressed because it reminds them that they are alive. Or they can’t find another way of expressing themselves. Maybe they want attention. A lot of them feel it’s the only thing they can control. It reduces tension. Sometimes it’s an expression of a psychiatric problem.
She closes the websites open on the computer and slouches forward, cupping her chin in her hands, staring at the blank screen.
BECKY (V.O.)
“A maladaptive coping mechanism,” they said. I understood more but I still didn’t get it.
INT. BECKY’S BEDROOM – NIGHT
Becky and Alyssa are sitting in silence on opposite ends of Becky’s bed. Alyssa is facing away from Becky.
Alyssa’s knees are drawn up to her chest and she is hugging them. She is staring down at the bedspread.
Becky is sitting cross-legged and looking up at the ceiling.
BECKY (V.O.)
Finally, after about six weeks and countless emails, we got to the point where she could talk about it. Sort of.
ALYSSA
(sighs)
I just don’t know what I’m supposed to do. Every day is so hard.
BECKY
I still think you should tell someone else.
ALYSSA
Like who?
BECKY
I don’t know, your parents, or someone else, or even better, somebody professional who knows what they’re talking about, knows more than we do.
Alyssa turns to face Becky and frowns.
ALYSSA
You KNOW I’m not going to tell my parents. Not now.
BECKY
(mildly exasperated)
Yes, I know that, but someone else then.
Alyssa turns away again.
A moment of awkward silence.
BECKY
(with a pleading tone)
You HAVE to tell SOMEONE. We can’t figure this out on our own.
Alyssa remains facing away from Becky, but she is now glaring.
ALYSSA
(quietly and intensely)
You can’t tell me what to do. I’ve made it this far, so maybe I CAN figure it out on my own. If you don’t like how I want to deal with it, fine.
Another silence.
Alyssa sighs and her face softens from anger to frustration and exhaustion.
ALYSSA
(with a shaky voice)
I told YOU, wasn’t that enough?
BECKY
Yeah, that was great, but I don’t know what I’m doing. I know I can’t make you do anything but I wish you’d talk to a counselor or therapist, someone who can give you real advice.
Alyssa pauses for a moment, then turns to face Becky again.
ALYSSA
Jeff.
BECKY
Who?
ALYSSA
Jeff, my soccer coach, what if I tell him?
BECKY
Um. . . okay. . . Is he a therapist too?
ALYSSA
No, of course not, but he had some problems too, he got divorced, then his ex-wife died. I think I can talk to him.
Becky smiles uncertainly, attempting to reassure Alyssa.
BECKY
Okay, so when will you tell him?
ALYSSA
(with a deep breath)
I have soccer practice on Monday. I can talk to him afterward.
BECKY
Sounds good.
Another brief silence.
ALYSSA
(shaky again, on the verge of tears)
But what if I can’t do it? I don’t think I can. What if it just makes everything worse?
BECKY
Of course you can tell him. You told me and it came out fine.
Their eyes meet and Alyssa takes a deep breath.
ALYSSA
Okay.
They rise from the bed and embrace, then exit from the room.
EXT. LAKE SHORE – DAY
On a sunny afternoon, Becky, Alyssa, and JEFF, a middle-aged man with graying hair and beard, are unloading canoeing equipment from a van pulled close to the water.
BECKY (V.O.)
So she told Jeff, and she said it went pretty well. Jeff decided we should all go canoeing together. He said nobody had to talk about anything, we could just canoe.
EXT. LAKE – DAY
Becky and Alyssa float along in one canoe, Becky steering, while Jeff is ahead of them in a kayak.
BECKY
So are we gonna talk about this, or what?
ALYSSA
(miserably)
I don’t know.
Becky sighs.
BECKY
Well, we’re getting behind. Let’s paddle.
They begin to paddle and start to catch up with Jeff.
INT. BECKY’S CAR – NIGHT
Becky and Alyssa are sitting in Becky’s car in Alyssa’s driveway in their canoeing clothes.
After a moment of silence, Becky switches off the engine.
Another brief silence.
ALYSSA
I thought something would happen. He didn’t even bring it up.
BECKY
Well, he said we wouldn’t necessarily talk about anything, right?
ALYSSA
Well yeah, but. . . I keep doing this to myself! I convince myself that if I can only make it to this point or that point, or do this or that, everything will be okay.
BECKY
But you know that’s not true.
ALYSSA
Well it doesn’t have to be okay, but why aren’t things even better?
Becky shrugs and stares at Alyssa’s garage.
After a moment of silence, Alyssa begins to cry quietly.
Becky looks around awkwardly, not sure what to do or say.
ALYSSA
I can’t make myself do it any more. What if it never gets better?
BECKY
It will. You have to believe it will. I do.
ALYSSA
But it’s so hard, everything I think will help, or have results, it always just makes it worse.
Becky has no response.
Alyssa continues to cry.
BECKY
I think you should come stay at my house tonight.
Another silence.
BECKY
My parents won’t care, they won’t ask questions. We can run in and get your stuff.
Alyssa sniffs loudly, pulls a Kleenex out of the box on the dashboard and blows her nose.