Character Theodore Jaroldeen Marley (T)–He’s a really old person. He walks very slowly with a walker, and has a lot of back problems. He has a lot of trouble hearing everything, and often brings up a lot of stories about “the past” which may or may not be true.
Day #1-
Lesson- Our Father in Heaven-Trinity
[The leader doing the skits with Theodore comes on stage and begins teaching the Lord’s prayer]
Alright everyone. I’m going to teach you the Lord’s prayer. The first part is-
[music starts playing (if we have some)]
T- Huh? Who said that? What is this place?
Uhh… hello…?
T- What… what are you young wiper snappers doing over here!?
Uh. Hi. I’m sorry, but who are you?
T- Who am I? The name’s Theodore Jaroldeen Marley, young man/lady. [starts inspecting the mic] What the blazes is this contraption?
That’s a microphone.
T- A what?
A microphone. It’s a device that makes your voice louder. Where did you get that?
T- Oh! That’s how you kids are makin’ all the ruckus! There I was in peace and quiet and you all start yellin all over the place.
Oh, I’m really sorry.
T- You should be! What are you doing, anyway?
I’m teaching the kids about the Lord’s prayer.
T- What? The gourd’s what?
The Lord’s prayer.
T- “The poor mayor”?
[louder, but not yelling.] No. The Lord’s prayer! The Lord’s prayer is an example of prayer that Jesus taught us. It shows generally how we should talk to God. For instance, it starts out by saying, “Our Father In Heaven…” We can look at this and see that we shouldn’t talk to God as if He’s some sort of distant thing in the sky, but actually, when we talk to Him, it should be as a child talks to their dad. Do you understand?
T- Hmmmm…. “Don’t bother twin Kevin”? That doesn’t even make sense, youngin. I don’t have a twin Kevin... Haven’t even talked to Kevin for over fifteen years.
No: “Our father, in Heaven.” You know what? Maybe if we play the Lord’s Prayer song, it’ll help you learn. Do you think that’ll help?
T- [Confused] “The snore pa-tator”?
Okay. Let’s do the song.
[The leader gets the kids up and begins teaching the song. Theodore tries to follow along at the beginning, but is obviously struggling because of his back problems. However, as soon as the music actually starts, he starts dancing completely normally and crazily. The second after the music stops, Theodore becomes old and fragile again, and the leader notices that he’d been dancing normally]
Wait a second?! How were you doing that?!
T- Huh? What?
How were you dancing like that… I mean… I thought-
T- Huh? What?
Oh… forget it.
T- You know what? I haven’t had this much fun since before the Great Depression. Can I come back next week?
Sure! That would be great. Everybody say goodbye to Theodore!
Day #2 (normal version)-
Lesson- Hallowed be Your Name.
[Once again, the leader comes up to teach, and Theodore’s music plays]
Oh. Hi, Theodore.
T- Huh? What? Where am I?
You’re in Crosstown again. Remember last week?
T- Last… oh yeah. With all of you loud young wiper snappers. How could I forget?
Well, you came just in time for our next lesson on the Lord’s prayer.
T- “The smore flavor”?
No. The Lord’s prayer. Today we’re going to teach the kids the second half: “Hallowed be your name”
T- What? I don’t get it? Why is the hollow tree afraid?
“Hollow tree”? Oh, no. It’s “Hallowed be!”
T- Hallowed?
Yeah.
T- What the blazes does “hallowed” mean?
Well, it means… uh… actually, I’m not sure. Here, let me check my Smartphone.
[pulls out smart phone and starts playing with it.]
T- What!? What on earth is that?!
Oh, this is my Smartphone.
T-[Confused] “Smart phone”?
Yeah… uh… It’s basically a cell phone that has a lot of special other features.
T- [still confused] “Cell phone”?
You don’t know what a cell phone is? Well… its… uh… it’s a telephone that you don’t need to plug into the wall to get it to work.
T- [still confused] “Telephone”?
What? You don’t know what a telephone is?! Oh my goodness! …Well, it’s a device that allows you to talk with somebody over a really long distance.
T- A telephone, eh? When I was your age, we didn’t have any contraptions like that. If we wanted to talk, we would use smoke signals. I remember this one time, it was the middle of the harshest winter in the Midwest, and-
Here we go. According to my Smartphone, the word “Hallowed” means: “Set apart as holy or sacred, sanctified, consecrated; honored greatly, revered.” Oh! That makes sense. Basically, by saying this, Jesus is teaching us that we should always remember that God should be honored and respected. We shouldn’t treat Him just as another part of our day, because He’s special. He deserves the best.
T- When I was a young lad, I had to hike up a mountain to learn what a word means. The whole trip took over fifteen years! And we didn’t even have any food or water!
Hey, why don’t we sing the song again to help us remember this?
T- Remember what? That the hollow tree is afraid? I remember that.
Uh, no. Let’s play the music.
[the song plays. Once again, as soon as it does, he dances like a normal person, but the second it ends, he’s back to acting old.]
Seriously, how can you dance like that? I mean, how do you do that?
T- Do what?
Dance.
T- Pants?
Dance!
T- Dance. I haven’t danced in over fifteen years. I remember this one time in the African Savannah, I went-
Alright, everybody say bye to Theodore!
Day #2 (1st skit version)-
Lesson- Hallowed be Your Name.
[The leader doing the skits with Theodore comes on stage and begins teaching the Lord’s prayer]
Alright everyone. I’m going to teach you the Lord’s prayer. Today, we’re learning about the part-
[music starts playing (if we have some)]
T- Huh? Who said that? What is this place?
Uhh… hello…?
T- What… what are you young wiper snappers doing over here!?
Uh. Hi. I’m sorry, but who are you?
T- Who am I? The name’s Theodore Jaroldeen Marley, young man/lady. [Starts inspecting the mic.] What the blazes is this contraption?
That’s a microphone.
T- A what?
A microphone. It’s a device that makes your voice louder. Where did you get that?
T- Oh! That’s how you kids are makin’ all the ruckus! There I was in peace and quiet and you all start yellin’ all over the place.
Oh, I’m really sorry.
T- You should be! What are you doing, anyway?
I’m teaching the kids about the Lord’s Prayer.
T- What? The gourd’s what?
The Lord’s Prayer.
T- “The poor mayor”?
[Louder, but not yelling.] No. The Lord’s Prayer! The Lord’s Prayer is an example of prayer that Jesus taught us. It shows generally how we should talk to God. Last week we learned about the first part “Our father in heaven”, and today we’re learning about the second part, “Hallowed be your name”.
T- What? I don’t get it? Why is the hollow tree afraid?
“Hollow tree”? Oh, no. It’s “Hallowed be!”
T- Hallowed?
Yeah.
T- What the blazes does “hallowed” mean?
Well, it means… uh… actually, I’m not sure. Here, let me check my Smartphone.
[Pulls out smart phone and starts playing with it.]
T- What!? What on earth is that?!
Oh, this is my Smartphone.
T-[Confused] “Smart phone”?
Yeah… uh… It’s basically a cell phone that has a lot of special other features.
T- [Still confused] “Cell phone”?
You don’t know what a cell phone is? Well… it’s… uh… it’s a telephone that you don’t need to plug into the wall to get it to work.
T- [Still confused] “Telephone”?
What? You don’t know what a telephone is?! Oh my goodness! …Well, it’s a device that allows you to talk with somebody over a really long distance.
T- A telephone, eh? When I was your age, we didn’t have any contraptions like that. If we wanted to talk, we would use smoke signals. I remember this one time, it was the middle of the harshest winter in the Midwest, and-
Here we go. According to my Smartphone, the word “Hallowed” means: “Set apart as holy or sacred, sanctified, consecrated; honored greatly, revered.” Oh! That makes sense. It kind of means “Special; not ordinary” Basically, by saying this, Jesus is teaching us that we should always remember that God should be honored and respected. We shouldn’t treat Him just as another part of our day, because He’s special. He deserves the best.
T- When I was a young lad, I had to hike up a mountain to learn what a word means. The whole trip took over fifteen years! And we didn’t even have any food or water!
Hey, why don’t we sing the song again to help us remember this?
T- Remember what? That the hollow tree is afraid? I remember that.
Uh, no. Let’s play the music.
[The leader gets the kids up and begins teaching the song. Theodore tries to follow along at the beginning, but is obviously struggling because of his back problems. However, as soon as the music actually starts, he starts dancing completely normally and crazily. The second after the music stops, Theodore becomes old and fragile again, and the leader notices that he’d been dancing normally]
Wait a second?! How were you doing that?!
T- Huh? What?
How were you dancing like that…? I mean… I thought-
T- Huh? What?
Oh… forget it.
T- You know what? I haven’t had this much fun since before the Great Depression. Can I come back next week?
Sure! That would be great. Everybody say goodbye to Theodore!
Day #3-
Lesson- Your kingdom come Your will be done on earth as it is in Heaven.
[Once again, the leader comes up to teach, and Theodore’s music plays]
T- Hello, children. It’s great to be in “Lost ground”
Crosstown.
T- Crosstown!
Hi, Theodore. Today, we’re going to be talking about the next part of the Lord’s Prayer.
T- How dare you? It’s not good to ignore your mayor. You youngins have to obey the law! Don’t ignore the mayor; you have to listen to the government.
No. I said, “The Lord’s Prayer”, not “Ignore the mayor”. But actually, what you said ties in with today’s lesson. Today, we’re talking about the part of the Lord’s Prayer that says: “Your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.”
[Theodore is looking off, clearly not hearing him]
Theodore, did you hear me?
T- What? Oh year, of course. You said something about my twin Kevin again. Well I told ya, I haven’t talked to Kevin in thirty-three years! And another thing; he’s not even my twin!
No. “Heaven”, not “Kevin.” You see, Jesus is teaching us that we should recognize that God is king over everything: both Heaven and earth. Through this prayer, he’s saying that we should want to obey Him. To do what our king wants, so that his Kingdom will come on earth, just like it already is in heaven.
T- Kevin? Kevin is that you?
What?
T- Kevin, what are you talking about? [clearly talking to nobody] Stop yelling at me, Kevin! I told you already, we are not twins. Never will be.
Theodore, are you okay?
T- Where are you, Kevin? You better stop that yakin’ or I’ll stop it for you!
Oh my. Okay. Theodore, do you want to sing the song now?
T- “Ping pong”? I can’t play ping pong! Kevin can’t either.
Everybody stand up. Let’s sing!
[song plays, they dance, just like usually…]
I still don’t get how you can dance like that!
T- Owch! My back! I threw out my back.
Oh. Are you okay? [goes to help him]
T- What? Kevin? Don’t touch me Kevin!
No! It’s me!
T- Oh. Well thank you, young man/lady. You’re very kind, even though you talk too loudly.
You think I talk too loudly?
T- What? What did you say? I couldn’t hear you.
Nevermind. Everybody say bye!
Day #4
Lesson-Give us this day our daily bread
[Once again, the leader comes up to teach, and Theodore’s music plays]
T- Hello, young wiper snappers. It is a fine day today, isn’t it.
Yes it is. How are you, Theodore? Are you ready to talk about the Lord’s prayer?
T- Meatloaf? You like meatloaf, too! Oh goodie. Meatloaf is my favorite.
“Meatloaf”? I said, “The Lord’s Prayer”! How did you hear the word “meatloaf”?
T- You know, just around fifty-two years ago, my twin Kevin and I ate meatloaf together. I love meatloaf.
Ew? Meatloaf is gross? How do you like meatloaf?
T- What do you mean, gross? Why would you talk about it if you didn’t like it?
No, I’m trying to talk about the Lord’s Prayer. Today’s lesson is “Give us this day our daily bread”.
T- So, you mean, give us meatloaf.
I said bread! Meatloaf isn’t bread. It’s….uh… I don’t know… meat bread…
T- So we’re getting meatloaf, eh?
No, we’re not getting meatloaf. In fact, it’s not actually talking about literal bread, either. Basically, saying “Give us today our daily bread” means “Give us all that we need.” Jesus is teaching us that we should ask God to supply our needs. If we need or want anything, we can just ask him for it. Isn’t that awesome?
T- Meatloaf?
No, not meatloaf! God gives us good things, not bad things like meatloaf.
T- I remember when they first invented meatloaf. It was a dark night, and all of the bears in the forest came out and tried to take us.
I think it’s time to sing the song.
T- We had to fight them off with our bare hands! They stared jumpin all over the place, and then I popped one in the nose, and-
Mr. Theodore. Are you ready to sing the song?
T- The what?
Sound guy, play the song.
[they dance, and again, he turns normal for the song, and becomes old again afterwards.]
You are a really good dancer.
T- What?
Dancer.
T- What?
Dancer.
T- Oh! Meatloaf.
No, not- *sigh* Forget it. Everybody say goodbye.
Day #5
Lesson-And forgiveus our debts
[woohoo! Theodore comes out!]
T- Hello boys and girls. I have amazing news.
What is it, Theodore?
T- I don’t know. You might not believe me.
We’ll believe you. Just tell us.
T- Alright, well I just heard… that… uh… [pauses for an awkwardly long time] …what were we doing again?
Theodore, you had amazing news to tell us.
T- I did? Oh! I did! You see, kids, I just heard about this new invention they just made. They just created a carriage that doesn’t need a horse. It moves forward all by itself! I hear they call it, an “automobile”. That’s incredible. Have you ever heard of such a thing? I bet not!
You didn’t hear about cars yet? Oh my… Anyway; today’s lesson the part of the Lord’s Prayer that says “forgive us our debts”. [Theodore walks behind the leader, but they don’t notice him moving.] You see, each of us has “sinned” or done something wrong in our lives. When is says “forgive us our debts”, its saying, “forgive us for doing what’s wrong”. You see-
[leader takes a step backwards and hits into Theodore, and he falls over and hurts himself.]
T- Ouch! Help, I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!
Oh! No!
[leader helps him up.]
Theodore, I’m so sorry!
T- Well, you should be. You crazy kids are reckless! Reckless!
Theodore, I did not mean to. Please forgive me.
T- Well… uh…
Please forgive me.
T- Forgive you? What do you mean? Did something happen?
Wait… you forgot…?
T- Did something bad happen? Oh no. I hope nothing bad happened! Is everything alright?
[turns to kids] I guess he forgot I did anything… Actually, this is kind of like God. Whenever we ask Him for forgiveness from our sin, he always forgets it. No matter how we’ve mess up in the past, God will always choose to forgive and forget. All we need to do is ask Him.
T- What’s going on? Where am I?
We should probably sing the song.
T- Oh, that reminds me! I have amazing news! It’s this new thing they call an “automobile”.
Theodore, you’ve already told us that.
T- What? What did you say?
Oh my. Let’s sing the song.
[Theodore and the leader dance]
Well, I guess Theodore has to leave again. Theodore, it really is great to have you here every week.
T- [standing with eyes closed making snoring noises]
Theodore? Are you okay… Theodore? [taps shoulder]
T- [Jolts awake] G7?
Theodore, you fell asleep.
T- Did somebody say G7? I have bingo! Where’s my prize.
Goodbye, Theodore.
Day #6
Lesson- as we forgive our debtors
[Comes in to music]
T- Hello young’ins.
Hi, Theodore. Today, the part of the Lord’s prayer we’re learning is “as we forgive our debtors.” Remember last week when-
T- What? Remember? I remember… I remember back during the war, the enemy surrounded us. Then, suddenly, out of nowhere, they blew up our ice cream storehouses! Our ice cream spewed miles in all directions.
What are you talking about? What war?