CREATE A POSITIVE ENVIRONMENT
1. Focus on desirable behavior
2. Model, motivate, teach & reinforce desirable behavior
3. Reduce attention to undesirable behavior
4. Avoid coercion & punishment--they increase avoidance, “get even” & escape behavior in your child & corrode your relationship with your child
5. Maintain a close, positive relationship--it increases your ability to influence your child
COMMON COERCIVE TRAPS
1. Questioning
2. Arguing
3. Sarcasm
4. Force
5. Threats
6. Criticism
7. Despair/pleading/helplessness
8. Logic
STAY CLOSE
1. Proximity (arm’s reach)
2. Touch
3. Facial expression match emotion
4. Voice tone match emotion
5. Interested body posture
6. Reflect feelings (empathy)
7. Open-ended questions (not “why”)
8. Listen more than talk
9. Ignore junk behavior
10. Avoid coercives
USE REINFORCEMENT
1. Specify behavior
2. Reward value matches effort
3. Immediate (3 seconds after)
4. Sincere, positive facial expression,
voice tone, body language
5. Interested body posture
6. Ignore junk behavior
7. Avoid coercives
REDIRECT/REINFORCE
1. Proximity (arm’s reach)
2. Stop the behavior (blocking)
3. Prompt appropriate alternative
4. If not doing it (3 seconds),
model/guide child to do it
5. Praise/touch appropriate behavior
6. Reinforce immediately (3 seconds)
7. Ignore junk behavior
8. Avoid coercives
PIVOT
1. Say nothing about junk behavior
2. Do not react to junk behavior
3. Pay attention/reinforce other child
who is behaving appropriately
4. Reinforce immediately (10 seconds)
when child behaves appropriately
5. Avoid coercives
SET EXPECTATIONS
1. Time (away from behavior)
2. Place (uninterrupted)
3. Set positive tone (praise previous
behavior, specify reinforcer)
4. Define expected behavior (specific)
5. Brief empathy, if emotion expressed
6. Brief rationale, only if child asks
7. State consequences for compliance
& noncompliance
8. Negotiate as needed
9. Have child state expectation and
consequences for doing/not doing
10. Praise child’s restatement
11. Ignore junk behavior
12. Avoid coercives
USE A CONTRACT
Make Contract
1. Daily expectations (behaviors) clear and stated in positive terms
2. Weekly expectations clearly/positively stated
3. Expectations reasonable for current level
4. Immediate consequences for meeting/not meeting expectations (earn/not earn)
5. Delayed consequences for meeting/not meeting expectations (earn/not earn)
6. Consequences match value of behavior
7. Plan when to evaluate daily/weekly
Review Contract
8. Begin on a positive note
9. Praise any effort the child made
10. If expectation was met, deliver consequence
11. If expectation was not met, use empathy than have child restate contract expectations/consequences
12. Ignore junk/Redirect back to topic
13. Avoid Coercives