PARENTING PLAN CHECKLIST
1.Custody Arrangement:
__Have the parents determined who will have physical custody?
__Has a primary home been designated for the purposes of public school enrollment?
2.Joint Legal Custody: Access to Records and Parental Decision Making
__Have the parents determined if they will share joint legal custody?
__Will all major parenting decisions be discussed and agreed upon?
__How will parents resolve parenting disputes/impasses?
Optional:
__If required, determine if there will be a tiebreaker and if so, on which parenting disputes?
__Indicate that both parents shall have access to school and all medical records.
3.Time-Sharing Arrangement/Living Arrangement:
__Indicate the access schedule for each parent for the school year.
__Indicate if they want right of first refusal and, if so, over how many hours?
__Determine provisions for trade-offs equal in time and/or agreement to ensure make up of missed time.
4.Summer Schedule:
The summer vacation schedule takes precedence over the regular schedule and the holiday schedule takes precedence over the regular and the summer schedule (e.g. Father’s Day). Length and timing of vacation is usually determined by the child’s age, developmental stage, temperament and school schedule.
__Do the parents desire any limitations regarding vacation sites such as in/out of state/country?
__Outline a deadline for each parent to select their vacation dates in writing.
__What will the schedule be during the parts of the summer that are not selected as vacations?
__If there is a midweek visit, what will happen when the parents are out of town?
__When parents travel out of town, will they share travel information and phone numbers prior to leaving with the child?
__If they equally share the weeks during the summer, how will parents do so? __What happens if one child wants to go away to a summer camp? Whose week will it be?
5.Transfers:
__Which parent will pick up the children? The parent beginning their custodial time or the parent ending their custodial period?
__Determine where the transfers shall take place?
__Stipulate how long each parent shall wait, and identify the procedure for getting the children if the parent leaves after having waited the designated period of time.
__If high-conflict parents, outline the details regarding the transfer, such as remaining in the car and saying good-bye to the children prior to the transfer.
Optional:
Stipulate if the parent can wait in the living room at times of transition and if the child can take the parent briefly to his or her room.
6.Holiday Schedule:
Holiday schedules generally take priority over the regularly scheduled living arrangement. It is recommended that specific days not be used in the definitions of holidays since each school system varies on when they get out of school on a particular holiday. For instance, Wednesday prior to Thanksgiving can become “the day the children are released from school for the Thanksgiving holiday until . . .” Discourage parents breaking up holidays other than the winter holiday, which is usually about two weeks. Mother’s Day and Father’s Day does not alternate.
__Determine which holidays the parents want to include in their holiday rotation.
__Define each holiday with beginning and ending times.
__Alternate with even and odd years so that both parents have holidays each year.
__Determine if Mother’s Day and Father’s day will include the whole weekend or just the Sunday.
__Explore options for holidays that may vary during the year such as the parents’ and child’s birthdays.
Optional:
When the holiday schedule interrupts the normal rotation, do the parents want to prevent either parent from having more than two weekends in a row? How will this be accomplished?
Stipulate when the child’s birthday party will be held and which parent will host and pay for the child’s birthday on the date of his or her birth.
Determine if they have any special religious observance.
7.Extracurricular Activities:
__Do they want any limitations on the number of activities per child per year?
__Who will schedule and pay for the activities?
__Who will be responsible for transportation to the activity?
__Will there be any restrictions regarding adult attendance at extracurricular activities?
8.Parental Communication Expectations:
__Notify co-parent when traveling out of town without children in the event of an emergency or in case the child would like to contact the absent parent.
__Determine frequency and method of communication, such as phone calls, e-mail, facsimile, meeting in public places, or written correspondence.
__Design a decision-making procedure regarding choice of physicians and assistance outside routine medical care, such as therapy and orthodontia, as well as payment arrangement.
__Do parents want any deadlines, such as “Written requests for change in schedule must be made 72 hours prior to the anticipated change in schedule. The receiving parent shall respond within 12 hours.”
__Specify exact time and limits for weekly parental communication.
__Designate which parent should initiate contact with the other parent and clarify important communication ground rules, including topics that are off limits.
__Clarify when both parents should return to the parent coordinator to assist with issues.
__Develop a system with deadlines for sharing:
__Non-time-sensitive parenting information
Time-sensitive information
Emergencies
Written schedules, report cards, etc.
Child’s school and activity schedule
Notification of appointments
9.Inclusion Expectations:
__Have the parents determined who will schedule the routine appointments?
__Will both parents be included in well check ups or consultations?
__Will both parents be invited to all school and extracurricular activities?
Optional:
__Would parents like to alternate school field trips?
__If the child is in therapy, will they take turns transporting the child?
10.Parent-to-Child Communication:
__How often can the non-custodial parent call the children and during what periods of time?
__Determine when parents will get returned calls when they are unable to reach the child.
__Designate if and when the child can call the absent parent.
Optional:
__Determine if privacy for the child’s calls will be expected.
11.Parental Behaviors:
__Consider putting the Divorce Rules in this section. Any expectations, the parents have of each other should be included in this section. Keep in mind that some of their expectations cannot be monitored without an involved parent coordinator. Be sure to inquire if these expectations will also apply to future stepparents or significant others.
__Determine if parents will commit to mature behavior in front of their child. If so, be specific.
__Decide if parents want a morality clause regarding overnight guests.
__Determine if parents want a travel expectation regarding significant others.
12.Safety Issues:
__Ask parents to consider safety issues. For example, drinking and driving with the children in the car, wearing helmets for certain activities, riding in the backseat, and guidelines regarding guns in the home.
13.Financial Responsibilities:
In general, financial responsibilities of both parents will be determined through the legal system, particularly child support, child care fees, and medical costs. In many jurisdictions, written guidelines help determine financial matters. In situations of joint physical custody it is not unusual for the parents to share all expenses related to child rearing. Child support may or may not be designated. Encourage parents to keep these payments separate from other payments. The checklist may or may not be necessary.
__Determine parental responsibility to purchase special attire, teacher gifts, yearbooks, and car.
__Decide parental responsibility for fees for service beyond insurance premiums. __Consider deductibles and noncovered expenses.
__Clarify how and when the parents will exchange receipts and make these payments.
__Determine type of education: preschool opportunities, public or private education, and tutoring and how the costs will be paid.
__Explore exactly what will be considered separate from child support. For instance, daycare, private school, clothes, and overnight camps.
14.Optional Concerns:
__Determine parental responsibility for maintenance and type of health insurance coverage.
__Explore whether parents are willing to include college expenses.
__Decide how clothes will be handled and returned to the primary home, or if clothes will be provided in both homes.
__Determine if the child will be permitted to move items between homes.
__Determine commitment to religious education.
__Discuss the rules and responsibilities the parents want to support in both homes.
__Decide if corporal punishment may be used by the parents.
__Determine if parents want to include a provision for maximum distance between homes.
__Discuss provisions for continued contact with former step-siblings and/or step-parents.
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