Congregation M Korhayim Rabbi Helen Cohn

Rosh Hashanah morning – October 3, 2016

Congregation M’korHayim – Rabbi Helen Cohn

“Inner Change”

Have you ever had an experience so great that you wanted to freeze time? At an annual gathering that was so much fun that you said “May it be just like this again next year”?

Or have you been in such a difficult place that you knew was never going to get better, never going to change?

And yet we know: everything changes. The river of time flows on. Many cultures have a variation of a story that in Jewish lore has Solomon asking that a ring be made with an inscription that will always be true. The wise goldsmith made a ring with the inscription “this too shall pass.” Or as Jewish folklore expresses it: Gam zehya’avor, this too will pass.

In spite of our wishes to stop time when joyful, or our fear that our misery will never end, we all know the truth of gam zehya’avor. Our bodies are constantly changing, no matter what our age. The weather cycles, life cycles, the friends who come into our lives and those who leave. Some changes so gradual that we hardly notice, others shift our world in a single moment.

Some change is long-awaited and welcomed, such as our new machzor. Other changes not wanted, not welcomed.

These kinds of changes we deal with all year. I mention them because the word “change” has so many levels of meaning, and I want to acknowledge the ongoing nature of all life, ours and the planets: everything is changing, all around us, all the time. By the way, the more we develop our inner resources and broad vision of life in general, the better we are able to respond to change in all its forms. That’s a large part of the work we do together and privately during these Days of Awe: developing our inner resources and broad vision of life.

But today I’d like to talk about another kind of change that is on our minds and in our hearts at this time of year. Inner change. Unlike the kinds of changes I just spoke of—the ones the world presents to us—this kind of change is ours to control.

A major theme of the High Holy Days is transformation, which means more than a superficial change. Transformation is a profound change, a deeper, inner shift, often a 180-degree shift in behavior or attitude. We call this Teshuvah, which we call “repentance,” but which means both “turn” and “return.” Turn toward. Return to. Different ways to talk about the same thing. These Days of Awe urge us to return to our true nature, our true pure soul. Doing this requires a “turn” from where we are right now. We turn in order to return.

During the time leading up to the High Holy Days we are told to examine our lives and admit where we have gone astray, when we have acted wrongly, when we have spoken cruelly. We think of all of the ways we have fallen short of our beliefs and values. We recall ways we acted that we now regret. Oy-yoy-yoy!

Then comes Rosh Hashanah with the promise that change is possible! Certainly we must ask forgiveness from people we have hurt by word or deed. But if we don’t work the kind of inner change that is actually transformation, then we’ll be here again next year with the same list of ways we have fallen short, hurt others, not lived up to our true selves.

We don’t snap our fingers and suddenly we are totally rid of all these undesirable behaviors. Rather, year after year, thanks to the wisdom of these Days of Awe, we work on ourselves and hopefully draw nearer to our true selves, the person we want to be. And it is possible!

One friend reflected on the change she is making this new year. She said, “I’m going to look at how I spend my time and stop putting off my writing projects. When do I think I’m going to make this commitment if I don’t make it now?”

A personal example: last year I committed to being more generous with my finances. This came out of our mussar work. I’ve always admired generous people and wanted to model myself on them. It was not an overnight change. But being aware of my desire to be more generous slowly transformed in particular how I tip, and how I make decisions about tzedakah.

One more: a man who during this time of introspection saw how often he spoke negatively about other people. Recalling the Jewish value of not speaking Lashon Harah (bad speech, gossip) he now looks for the impulse before he speaks, and often catches himself before he says something negative. He says it has transformedhis conversations, in a good way.

To be clear: we are not talking about secular New Year’s resolutions to go to the gym, to go on a diet, etc. We are talking about truthful self-examination, sincere honesty about our speech and behavior, and a deep desire to be a better human being who more clearly reflects the Divine image.

So here’s my question for this Rosh Hashanah: what is one thing about yourself that you realize is time change? [pause]

You don’t need to share with us what that one thing is (unless you want to), but the real question now is: what gets in the way of making that change?

[discussion]

The word “Shanah” as in Rosh Hashanah means “year” but the Hebrew root is actually “change.” So we can think of Rosh Hashanah as the “head” or beginning of change. Why not begin today? The fact that you know how you want to change is a reflection of your true nature. You know! And hopefully you also have some insight into what the barrier might be. Seeing the barrier is the beginning of its dissolving.

Today we say “Hadeishaleinushanahtovah,” which I translate freely as my wish for all of us: “Make us new; change us for the good.”