CHANGING SPOTS (Screenplay) WARNING: SEXUAL CONTENT
CHANGING SPOTS (Screenplay) WARNING: SEXUAL CONTENT
The excerpt of the script may be read for free below. The full script can be purchased for Kindle at amazon.com or as a hard copy directly from Gregory J. Lavelle by calling at (440) 724-4538 or emailing at . Royalties to produce the work are negotiable.
What would you have if you had a story more erotic than Monsters’ Ball with likeable characters, humor and a plot that makes sense? What you would have is Changing Spots.
Jeff, a painfully naïve, recently widowed man in his late forties meets Brynne, a young, extremely attractive female attorney. Brynn agrees to take on the malpractice case regarding the death of Jeff’s wife. Not until an extremely embarrassing moment does Jeff realize that Brynn is a lesbian. Once Jeff discovers that Brynn is a lesbian, he attempts to have her explore why she is gay and experiment with heterosexuality and Brynn attempts to get Jeff to come out of his shell: to “change his spots”. Against the sexual interplay between Jeff and Brynn and the tension between Brynn her partner, Darcy, is a courtroom drama involving a corrupt judge who does everything in his power to thwart Jeff in seeking justice for his wife’s death. In the end, Jeff finds that he has it within him to “change his spots”.
INT. STRIP BAR – NIGHT
The camera pans to sports pictures and memorabilia on the wall and to a picture of Joe DiMaggio over a baseball bat. JIM, a thirty-something advertising executive, is glazed over watching something. The camera pans away from the bat to show that it is a strip bar with topless DANCERS on a platform in front of JIM who is a little sloshed. JEFF, a trim, fortyish, somewhat conservatively dressed man, approaches.
JEFF
Hey, Jim. ---- Hey there, Jim. --- Earth to Jim.
JIM
(sarcastic)
I don’t believe it. You arrive five minutes
early for your own surprise party?!
JEFF
(flip)
How am I going to be surprised if I’m not properly prepared?
JIM
Seriously, how do you do it? The meeting can be in the Yukon or at the desk right next to you and you always show up five minutes early. You’re not “running up” five minutes early. You are not “already there” five minutes early. You are strooollllling up. --- Five minutes early.
JEFF
It’s a talent.
JIM
Need a drink?
Jim gulps down his drink and motions the WAITRESS another.
JEFF
Allergic.
JIM
(scoffing)
Yeah, right.
JEFF
(flippant, laughing)
No, really. Hey, I’m allergic to alcohol, too cheap for drugs and too ugly for sex. Virtue is foisted upon me against my will.
WAITRESS places a drink in front of JIM.
JIM motions toward DANCER.
JIM
Speaking of sex, couldn’t you get into some of that?
JIM Takes a hard swallow of his drink.
JIM
For the right price, you’ll look like a stud to her.
JEFF
Nah.
JIM
Whattya, queer?
JEFF
Nah, I just can’t get into strip joints and porn.
JIM
Let me guess.
JIM Makes a claw with his hand and simulates attempting masturbation.
JIM
Arthritis.
JEFF
Nah. It just never interested me.
JIM
(amazed)
How can that not interest you? It’s a natural urge.
JEFF
(rhetorically)
Eating’s a natural urge, isn’t it?
JIM
Yeah, so?
JEFF
Did you ever say to yourself, “Hey, I think I want to go out and watch a steak dinner.”
JIM puts a dollar into DsANCER’s G-String.
JIM
For an extra fifty you can probably have some of that for dinner. Eat all you want. No calories.
JIM Takes another long drink while leering at the stripper.
JEFF
I had dinner at home.
JIM
What about dessert? No room for pie?
JEFF shakes his head.
JIM
Unbelievable.
BLACK DANCER 1 and BLACK DANCER 2 come up and to JIM. One dancer is on each side of JIM, gyrating against him.
JIM
Oooh, just call me O RE O.
JIM puts a bill in BLACK DANCER 2’s G-string. JIM whispers in BLACK DANCER 1’s ear and she nods. JIM cocks his head toward a sign at the back of the room which says in bright neon letters, “Private Showing”.
JIM
Care to join us? I’ll buy.
JEFF smiles and a shakes his head.
JIM
Christ, you are boring.
DAVID enters carrying a drink.
DAVID
I’ll second that.
JIM
Maybe next time, girls.
JIM puts another dollar in the G-string of each, then empties his glass. BLACK DANCER 1 and BLACK DANCER 2 exit.
BOB, late twenties, dressed business casual, enters, carrying a drink.
BOB
Hey, where are the girls going?
JIM
(sarcastic) Grampa here didn’t want to play.
BOB
Jeff, they got white ones, young, fresh puss---
JEFF
Nah.
BOB
Jeff Thomas, you are the most boringest man ever.
JEFF
That would be improper grammar.
JIM
Yet, that would be 100% accurate.
JEFF
All right, all right. I’m a heterosexual monogamist.
JIM
(flip)
That can be cured, you know. There are twelve steps.
AL, a thirty-ish account executive strolls up.
AL
(chiming in) 69.
JIM
That’s the third step. All right, guys, there’s going to be no fun tonight; let’s just give Jeff his presents.
JIM leads the group over to a booth. BOB, AL, DAVID and JEFF sit.
JIM
Are we ready? Go.
JOM, BOB, AL and DAVID simultaneously pull out a tie box and open and present it. Each box has the same striped tie.
JEFF
What can I say?
JIM
You can say, “Thank you” ---- and you can have some fun for a change.
JEFF
(deadpan)
I have fun. I’m with it. I have my stamp collection.
AL
You gotta be kiddin’ me. You got a stamp collection.
JEFF
Actually, I do. ---- Well, it was my dad’s.
JIM
Sometimes, Jeffrey Thomas, I think you are just putting us on. You must have a secret life, something nobody knows about. You’re banging cheerleaders, doin’ heroin, something ---
JEFF
Nope.
JIM
So, you’ve been with the same company for twenty-five years; the same woman for twenty-four and there’s nothing else?
JEFF
Nope. Nothing else. ---- Did I mention the stamps?
JIM
(disgusted)
Gawd, yes, you mentioned the fuckin’ stamps.
JEFF
(joking, in mock primness) I have no stamps depicting intercourse.
JIM
Can’t you even say the fuckin’ word?
JEFF
(joking, primly)
And what word would that be?
JIM
(irked) Thomas, you wouldn’t say “shit’” if you had a mouth full of it.
JEFF
That would make pronunciation difficult. Then again, so would sixteen scotches.
JIM
(angry) Hey, fuck you.
JEFF
Jim, no, I didn’t mean. ---
JIM
Bullshit, you didn’t. You’re always lookin’ down on everybody. You got to be the perfect one.
JEFF
No, Jim. Really, I didn’t mean. Come on, let me buy you a ---
JIM
(enraged) Drink? Is that supposed to be some kind of a fucking joke?
JEFF
No, just a way to apologize. Guy to guy.
JIM
Bullshit. You couldn’t be “guy to guy” with anybody, with your nose up in the fuckin’ air all the time.
AL, DAVID and BOB are staring at JIM. He notices.
JIM
Hey, fuck you guys too.
JIM turns and staggers and pushes through the crowd of patrons around the booth and exits, bumping into patrons as he goes.
AL
(sarcastically)
That went well.
BOB
Hey, screw him. Don’t worry about him. He’s the company asshole.
DAVID
(sarcastically) Also, Mr. Bradley’s kid, member of the lucky sperm club.
AL
Don’t worry. By tomorrow, he’ll forget all about it.
BOB
Screw him. Enjoy. Dinner and drinks are on the company. And also this.
BOB takes an envelope out of his breast pocket.
JEFF
What’s this?
BOB
Open it.
JEFF opens the envelope.
JEFF
Holey moly ---A cruise?
BOB
Yep. A cruise.
JEFF
You’re kidding.
BOB
They wanted to get you something that you wouldn’t buy for yourself.
AL
We were going to get you a blowjob, but we didn’t know how to wrap it.
JEFF
Wow. Seven days. When is it?
BOB
Whenever you want. --- Well, within a year.
JEFF
Great.
INT - JEFF’S HOME NIGHT
JEFF enters his home. HELEN, about forty-seven is in the living room watching TV. Helen appears young for her age and has perfect, beautiful, blonde wavy hair.
JEFF
Hi Hon.
HELEN
How was the party?
JEFF
I got ties.
JEFF lays out the boxes one by one and opens them.
HELEN
Did you have any fun?
JEFF
It was O.K.
HELEN
(teasing)
Did you see anything you liked?
JEFF
(deadpan) Dimaggio’s bat was kinda neat.
HELEN
(teasing) You know what I mean. I know where you went.
JEFF
(feigning anger) Who told?
HELEN
(With a roll of the eyes, flippantly) You did.
JEFF
(pretending to suddenly remember) God, I am boring.
HELEN
Are you really boring?
JEFF
(with a laugh) Yeah, pretty much.
HELEN
Or am I just the last to know?
JEFF
(joking, laughing) God, you’ve got to be the first to know that I’m boring.
HELEN
(seriously) I worry sometimes. You’re a handsome man and I’m a middle-aged woman.
JEFF
You happen to be younger than me.
HELEN
Eleven days. Besides, a man wants a woman to be younger, ---- much younger. About this time, men are looking for their trophy wife.
JEFF
I already found my trophy wife. --- You. I’m going to mount you right over that mantle.
HELEN
Do you think the mantle would hold the weight of both of us?
JEFF
We could give it a try.
JEFF hugs and kisses HELEN.
JEFF’S KITCHEN - DAY
HELEN in at the stove, making breakfast as JEFF enters the kitchen.
JEFF
Hi, Hon. I forgot to tell you last night.
HELEN
Forgot to tell me what?
JEFF
(Coyly) I forgot to tell you I got a little something last night.
HELEN
(kidding) Am I going to need to get shots?
JEFF
Yeah, probably. ------We got a cruise. I’d imagine we would need shots. We would, wouldn’t we? It has a stop in Venezuela.
JEFF hands HELEN the brochure.
HELEN
Yeah, I think so. How’d we get a cruise?
JEFF
(facetious)
The company. I don’t know if I’m being rewarded or deported. It does say, “round trip” doesn’t it?
JEFF’S OFFICE – INT. – DAY
JEFF is in his office working at his desk, looking over reports.
INTERCOM
Jeff. Mr. Bradley wants to see you.
JEFF
(Joking) Right now, after it’s too late to stop the catastrophe?
INTERCOM
You know the drill.
INT. OFFICE HALLWAY - DAY
DAVID
(whisper) Watch yourself in there.
JEFF
What?
DAVID
Watch yourself. There’s some kind of shake-up coming.
JEFF
What kind of shake-up?
DAVID
Something in your department.
JEFF
If it were in my department, I’d know.
DAVID
If it was something good in your department, you’d know. --- If it wasn’t --- unh unh.
JEFF and DAVID enter Mr. Bradley’s office.
BRADLEY, a beefy faced portly balding man about the age of sixty is standing at a credenza playing with a set of very expensive horse figurines. JIM is already present, standing next to him and taps BRADLEY on the shoulder.
BRADLEY
Oh, sorry, I was just checking out the stable. Have you seen these? I got ’em from all over the world. Been collecting ‘em for years. The first one I got when I was five. Italy, Switzerland. Hi, Jeff, David. Gentleman, I have some good news for both of you. We’ve been considering some restructuring, expanding our horizons, keeping up with the times. Jeff, you’ve been in charge of our advertising purchases: TV, radio, print. But you haven’t been really involved in dealing with the internet.
JEFF
Well, I haven’t been asked ---
BRADLEY
While Jim, here has a great deal of experience in that area.
DAVID
(whispered aside) Six hours a day watching porn.
BRADLEY
What we are going to do is to combine the departments. Now, I know that’s too much for just one man.
JEFF
No, not really ---
BRADLEY
So, we’ll be transferring Jim here in as your assistant. David, you’ll be handling the technical end of Jim’s position -- with a bump in salary, of course.
JEFF
I don’t follow ...
BRADLEY
Jim is going to be your assistant. He will be second in command and will have to be filled in on all areas. You’ll need to train him. We really should have a procedures manual.
JEFF
It’s really not all that complicated - and I can be called.
BRADLEY
But, that’s the point. You shouldn’t have to be called. Say you’re off for a day, or for a week, like for that cruise, Jim should be able to step in. Trust me. This will work. Coordinating all of the advertising just has to be more efficient. I know it’s a lot of responsibility, but that’s what Jim is for --- to take the load off. You are not going to be just a manager anymore --- you’ll be a director with an increase. --- Well, good.
BRADLEY shakes JEFF’s hand briskly and moves to shake DAVID’s. DAVID, backs away slightly. BRADLEY notices and does a brief, nervous chew of his lower lip before regaining his smile.
BRADLEY
Monday we’ll start on the transition. How soon can you begin on that procedures manual?
JEFF
This weekend, I guess.