Dialogue Writing
Using dialogue well in a short story creates a sense of believability and reality; good dialogue can become the driving force of a story. Think of Juno,No Country for Old Men, Pulp Fiction, and O Brother Where Art Thou. All these films rely heavily on snappy, interesting dialogue. However, using dialogue poorly can ruin a story. When writing a dialogue you need to keep three things in mind: voice (or color), structure (punctuation, paragraphing, and conventions), and delivery (tags and action).
Character Voice and Color
You have already worked on using local-color to create a character. While your local-color poems offer exaggerations of a character’s language, the basic idea behind local color is true for all characters. Certain characters speak in a certain way, use certain words and phrases, other characters do not. A street thug will not use the same vocabulary as Mother Superior. Keep the words a character uses in focus as you write. Do not write a dialogue the way you “think” people ought to talk—keep it real. The best way to come up with realistic sounding dialogue is to pay close attention to the way people actually speak. Some people have a way with words, others don’t. This should be true in your stories as well. If you write about characters in a wholly fictional world and you create a language, you still need to create differences in word choice and tone to make a character believable.
Structure Punctuation, Paragraphing, Conventions
Your found poetry revealed to you the importance of structure. By breaking lines and using punctuation you can force a reader to find meaning. The same basic principle applies to dialogue.
The most basic feature of dialogue structure is: all quoted—spoken aloud—dialogue appears in quotation marks: “ “.
“Hey, watch where you’re going.”
Just remember when you write spoken dialogue you are quoting what your characters say. Perhaps the biggest challenge to punctuating dialogue involves using other punctuation marks. Punctuation in a dialogue falls into two basic categories: periods and commas, and everything else.
If you need to follow a piece of spoken language with a period, you replace the period with a comma inside the quotation marks and finish the sentence with a period after the description.
“Hey, watch where you’re going,” he shouted.
However, if the spoken language serves as a complete sentence, put the period inside the quotation marks.
“Hey, watch where you’re going.” The rude woman didn’t even look back.
Other kinds of punctuation do not change, though the placement of punctuation matters still.
“Hey, why don’t you watch where you’re going!”
“Hey, why don’t you watch where you’re going!” he shouted.
“Hey, why don’t you watch where you’re going!” The rude woman didn’t even look back.
Should he shout, “Watch where you’re going!”?
The general rule for paragraphing is to always start a new paragraph for each new speaker or if a different character than the speaker performs an action. A paragraph is marked by a “return” and a single tab.
“I can’t stand it!” she screamed. Susan slammed the screen door as she charged outside.
“This isn’t over yet!”
“Oh, it’s so over.”
Jared winced as he heard Susan’s car roar to life.
If you have the same speaker saying things over the course of several paragraphs (well, you’re probably not writing a good short story) you may create separate paragraphs by opening the first line of each paragraph with a quotation mark but not closing the quotation until the end of the spoken words.
“Mom, listen. I can explain everything. You see, the train schedule was off because of a delay, and then I couldn’t find a cab. I mean have you tried to hail a cab in this city?
“And speaking of cities, did you know Beth is moving to Chicago? I mean can you believe it? Chicago.”
Mrs. Boulier narrowed her eyes. She was not amused at her daughter’s attempt to diffuse the situation.
The method of punctuating and paragraphing described above explains the standard conventions for dialogue published in North America. I expect you to abide by these conventions as these will be the ones I teach in the class. However, as you can tell by reading the two short stories I Used to Live Here Once and Popular Mechanics writers do occasionally use modified rules to create dialogue. The main key: follow the same system throughout your paper. Do not punctuate your dialogue willy-nilly as this will confuse and distract your reader. Create a clear system to indicate what is spoken and by whom and what is not spoken.
In addition to the words a character uses and the structure you apply to a dialogue, you must consider the actual delivery of a dialogue. Flannery O’Connor (one of American’s best short story writers) explains inexperienced and bad writers typically use dialogue which “frequently proceeds without the assistance of any characters that you can actually see, and uncontained thought leaks out of every corner of the story. The reason is usually the student is wholly interested in his thoughts and his emotions and not in his dramatic action, and that is he is too lazy or highfalutin to descend to the concrete where fiction operates.” Essentially, O’Connor reminds writers dialogue takes place as “part of” not “in place of” action. Imagine your characters as actors in a film. They don’t simply speak; they do things while they speak. Typically “said” is the worst way to go when describing a character. “Said excitedly, said sadly, said nervously” are just as bad. These are “telling” words (remember characterization). Try to “show” what characters do during a dialogue. Describe character’s bodies, actions, etc as a way of indicating who speaks.
Franny nudged a dirt clod over the edge of the bluff and watched it tumble into the ravine below.
“You cold?” Gary dug his hands deeper into the pockets of his windbreaker and tucked his chin into his collar.
“Nah,” Franny said. She raised her arms until they stretched straight out from her shoulders. Her hair whipped wildly about her face. “You wanna go back?”
Gary snuck a peak over the edge of the bluff. “Whenever you are.”
“I could stay here forever, I think.” Franny closed her eyes and took a deep breath.
“Franny,” Gary’s voice cracked. “Are you, um, okay?” The question had nagged at Gary for quite some time, speaking those word felt like picking off a fresh scab.
Franny whirled toward him, her eyes flashing. She stared for a moment, then smiled. “Why do you ask?”
Always be aware of the scene in which your characters are speaking. Have them move, think, act, and talk. Dialogue alone is dull and unrealistic.
Other words to use instead of “said”
Not all words suit all situations. Be aware of what these words mean before you use them.
acknowledged
acquiesced
added
addressed
admitted
admonished
advised
advocated
affirmed
agreed
alleged
allowed
announced
answered
approved
argued
assented
assumed
assured
asked
attested
avowed
babbled
bantered
bargained
barked
began
begged
bellowed
beseeched
boasted
bragged
brought up
called
cautioned
charged
chided
cited
claimed
commanded
complained
commented
conceded
concluded
confessed
confided
consented
contended
contested
continued
contradicted
counseled
countered
cracked
cried
debated
decided
declared
decreed
delineated
demanded
demurred
denied
denounced
described
dictated
directed
disclosed
disrupted
divulged
drawled
droned
elaborated
emphasized
enjoined
entreated
enunciated
exclaimed
explained
exposed
expostulated
expressed
faltered
fumed
fired
giggled
granted
grinned
groaned
growled
grunted
grumbled
haggled
hedged
held
hinted
howled
identified
illustrated
imparted
implied
implored
indicated
inferred
informed
inquired
insinuated
insisted
instructed
interjected
intimated
jested
joked
judged
lamented
laughed
lectured
lied
lisped
maintained
mentioned
mimicked
moaned
mumbled
murmured
mused
muttered
nagged
named
narrated
noted
notified
objected
observed
opined
orated
outlined
pardoned
petitioned
pleaded
prayed
professed
pronounced
proposed
protested
questioned
quipped
rambled
ranted
regretted
rejoiced
related
remarked
reminded
remonstrated
repeated
reported
revealed
roared
raged
scoffed
shrieked
shouted
snapped
sneered
sobbed
sputtered
stated
stipulated
stormed
suggested
taunted
threatened
urged
uttered
vowed
wailed
wept
whined
yelled