Individuals Will Develop the Skills to Express Themselves

CONCEPT

Communication Skills

OUTCOME

Individuals will develop the skills to express themselves

effectively and listen accurately to others.

GRADE 9-12

OBJECTIVE

Gain skills in assertive communication of ideas, beliefs,

feeling, and emotions.

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I. REVIEW INFORMATION TO BE PRESENTED:

A. Assertive communication, as opposed to aggressive

communication, promotes clear understanding of feelings and

expectations and encourages a productive continuation of the

conversation.

II. NEW INFORMATION TO BE PRESENTED:

A. Assertive communication skills are very useful in dealing

with all kinds of situations.

B. Assertive communication involves calm expression of

personal feelings and nonjudgmental acknowledgment of the

feelings of others.

C. The ability to express oneself assertively gives one the

power to determine the direction of his/her own life.

III. POSSIBLE LEARNING ACTIVITIES:

A. (Review) Read a list of several statements to the class

and ask students to identify whether they feel a positive or

a negative response. For example: "I am sorry that your

homework didn't get done -- you will have to finish it now."

and "What in the world is wrong with you, anyway, that you

never get your homework done?" Discuss how the same

message, worded differently, takes on different meanings.

B. Teach the use of "I Messages" following the formula "I

feel (emotion) when (event) happens." Explain how

communication improves when we state our feelings rather

than make accusations. For example, instead of saying, "you

are a slob. You never clean up your messes. You leave food

all over the counter and never do the dishes.", say, "When I

come home from work, I am tired. I want to start dinner,

but if feel so frustrated when the kitchen isn't in order.

I want to start my job, but I feel angry if I have to clean

first." Provide scenarios in which two students can

exchange comments first using poor communication and then

using "I messages."

Examples of scenarios:

--1.) Boyfriend is irritated because girlfriend is often

late for dates.

--2.) One friend feels the other is taking their friendship

for granted because she is dropped whenever a boy asks for a

date.

--3.) Two sisters are angry that clothes are borrowed and

not returned or returned in poor condition.

C. Have students develop a list of "dreaded" confrontational

situations, such as: breaking up with a boyfriend,

confronting a friend about lying, confronting a teacher

about unfair treatment. Role play using "I Messages" and

have students offer suggestions for clearer methods of

dealing with each problem.

D. Teach reflective listening skills. Using some of the

previous scenarios, have students respond to the "I

Messages" with reflective listening. Discuss how the

situation and outcome are affected.

E. Remind students that feelings are not right or wrong.

Different people feel differently about various topics.

Practice discussing controversial issues in pairs, having

students role play communication skills that value the

feelings of others while still stating personal feelings on

the topic.

F. Set up panel discussions involving two people with

opposing opinions and two negotiators. Role play good

communication skills on various topics until the feelings of

both parties are known, then have negotiators lead a

compromise. Allow students to evaluate and suggest other

possible solutions.

G. Brainstorm for common lines used by teenagers to

influence peers, such as: Everybody else is doing it. It

won't hurt anybody. If you love me, you will. Brainstorm

for assertive responses to each line using "I Messages."

Emphasize the skill of expressing personal feelings clearly

without hurting the feelings of others. Practice responding

in this manner in pairs.

H. Work in pairs to practice giving sincere compliments and

receiving compliments graciously. Discuss the value of this

skill.

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